Advice From The Sarge's A$$

[sgt.barney]

The Sarge has a pair of pants.

 

A special pair of hiking/climbing pants.

 

A gift from Mrs. Sarge long ago.

 

The are Sarge's Magic Pants.

 

They have been to Europe. Through mile after mile of the catacombs outside Rome, they've sat on Caesar's seat at the Flavian Ampitheatre (the "Colloseum). They run laps around the Circus Maximus. 

 

These pants have been to the bottom of The Grand Canyon, and will soon be to the top of The Grand Teton.  They have hiked Tuolomne Meadows, been up and down exposed granite in the Sierra Nevadas.  They've climbed formations on the back side of Mt. Rushmore, and sat on the summit Cairn of Devil's Tower.

 

The Sarge almost lost them on the way through the Black Hills last year and slid 40 fet downhill on his ass wearing them (NOTE the recently patched holes in the arse)  in The Badlands where he heard these words for the first (and only time) from Mrs. Sarge: "F*ck that! I ain't goin' there ... "  when he begged her to follow. .

 

The Magical Pants, these days, (every other weekend) tromp through the Hollows of Red River Gorge and Muir Valley (Kentucky) They have crawled underneath the Canadian side of Niagra Falls.  They've been dipped in the waters of The Pacific, The Atlantic, The Gulf of Mexico, The Great Salt Lake, The Mediteranian, each and every one of The Great Lakes (and a metric crap-ton of minor ones too).

 

They've gone canyoneering in Death Valley and spelunking in Mammoth Cave.

 

They flew to Paris for a month of backpacking and came out on the other side of the mountains of Switzerland ... passing by (but sadly not climbing) both The Matterhorn and The Eiger.

 

The Pants took a looooong walk up Vesuvius, a small walk down into the mouth of the beast, and traveled downflow to spend time with the stray dogs and corpses in Pompeii.

 

They've seen Big Trees in California and Big Presidents in South Dakota.

 

The Pants made thousands of stairs up to the domes and cupolas of St. Pete's in Vatican City, The Duomo in Florence, and Notre Dame in Paris.

 

They climbed the stairs to the top of theEiffel (back when you were allowed to) and rode the elevator to the top of This.

 

Most recently, this year they tromped through the Mojave Desert  and Colorado Desert and climbed dozens of world-class climbs in Joshua Tree.

 

Hell, these pants have been everywhere with The Sarge since ... well ... 199-something ... ('92? '93? maybe).

 

The Sarge can't even remember where all they've been with him and The Mrs.

 

And through it all - through every mile of hike, every meter of climb, every boring 12-hour plane ride, overnight train through some unknown city, cheapo rental car miles, subways both decrepit and new ... through it all they have carried the advice that The Sarge recommends to everyone to get through life.

 

Here are the pants:

 

 

 

And here is the advice:

 

 

 

So when you're feeling down, and blue, and whiney, and emotional, and just generally can't handle your quit at the moment, remember what The Sarge's Ass told you to do ... and do it.

 

Harden The F*ck Up! [1]

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

 

 

FOOTNOTE:

[1] The Sarge first heard that phrase from a visiting Drill Sergeant (not one of his own) stopping by to observe training one day waaaay back in 1987. It has served him well when things get rough.

[Jonny5]

Love It Sarge :-)

[MarylandQuitter]

A nod to The Sarge's Clam Digger's.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G536Mb9RsUQ

[El Bandito]

You get around.

[sgt.barney]

You get around.

Some day The Amusement Park will close.

 

The Sarge is trying to ride all the rides before closing time.

 

Life is short, y'know?

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[El Bandito]

Some day The Amusement Park will close.

 

The Sarge is trying to ride all the rides before closing time.

 

Life is short, y'know?

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

Aye

 

You are a long time dead 

 

as they say...

[Nancy]

Wow...love it...

[...]

I love that......

[sgt.barney]

Then again, as the Sarge looks at the photos he wonders silently to himself: Just how hard can a man be in purple pants rolled up to look and wear like Capri Pants?

 

Too late now. Can't switch 'em out. It won't be the same.

 

Easy Peasy

[El Bandito]

Then again, as the Sarge looks at the photos he wonders silently to himself: Just how hard can a man be in purple pants rolled up to look and wear like Capri Pants?

 

Too late now. Can't switch 'em out. It won't be the same.

 

Easy Peasy

Think Butch

 

Are Butch

 

I just bought pink pants.... 

[sgt.barney]

I just bought pink pants.... 

 

The Magic Pants started out a nice, outdoorsy camoflaged-ish dark, chocolate brown but over the decades both The Sun and Maytag have taken their toll on the color. They are clearly purple now and may some day soon be pink. If you look at the really worn spots, they're already starting to come out of the closet ;)

 

 

***

 

Just remembered another location:

 

The pants are in this pic, too (Summit of Ryan Mountain, California):

 

 

Due to the lighting and angle of this pic, they look their original brown but they are, indeed, Purple Pants standing on top of the Purple Mountain's Majesty.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Petra]

Nice toes. :)

[sgt.barney]

 

Just remembered another location:

 

 

Found another - forgot they were condemned to a life of incarceration back in 2008 ...

 

 

 

 

But The Sarge staged a jailbreak and got 'em out of The Pokey 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H389yLb87fo

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

Nice toes. :)

 

I know, right? 

 

Time for a "Harden The F_ck Up Pedicure" ™ to go with those purple pants.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[SueBeDoo]

Brilliant.

Ps you need to wax those toes Bilbo!!

[Sarah]

Just how hard can a man be in purple pants rolled up to look and wear like Capri Pants?

that's pretty much what the hulk wears!

[babs609]

who is zooming in on your toes???  lol

[Nancy]

that's pretty much what the hulk wears!

Good point!

[sgt.barney]

The Magic Pants wth the Big Trees in Sequoia National Forest

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

that's pretty much what the hulk wears!

 

You are SOOOOOOO RIGHT !  Now The Sarge just has to dye his skin green, expose himself to Gamma Radiation, and gain about 250 pounds of muscle ....

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

The Magic Pants @ Inyo

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Sarah]

You are SOOOOOOO RIGHT ! Now The Sarge just has to dye his skin green, expose himself to Gamma Radiation, and gain about 250 pounds of muscle ....

 

 

Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy!

[sgt.barney]

Hiking through Tuolumne Meadows ...

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

Cooking a romantic dinner for two at Yosemite Valley's infamous Camp 4

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

The Magic Pants after doing the Rim-to-Rim hike of The Grand Canyon with Mrs. Sarge ...

 

 

See that cigarette tucked behind Sarge's ear? Yeah that. He used to be a smoker.

 

Used to.

 

And then he Hardened The F_ck Up!

 

 

 

Easy Peasy