close to two months still having some sudden urges

[Opah]

Things are getting Better and Better, like this week end Family over fun, food,  alot of conversation, and not one thouight about smoking.

Death makes me want to smoke,  when I found my younger Brother dead is when I lasped .

Now My BHB Best Hunting Buddy Joe out of the Blue dies ?  and yes I wanted to smoke.  I did learn from my episode with my Brother althought it helped sooth my nerves and emotions it was very temporary and it put me right back on that smoking for no reason except to feed my addition.

So with Joe I looked deper into myself to cope with not having him around anymore. I still need to take time to Grieve, I don't know,  what is grieve ?

I will miss him,  I will have moments that his absence may overwhelm me at a moment.  But I will also have him in the Mountains, in the early morning fog, beside the camp fire.   So I am not sure if Grieve is correct.   Lets just say  I need to take time to say good bye, Love you and will miss you.

 I will be assisting his wife in getting herself organized and the whole clearing of stuff.,

Sho and Joe both smoked  and I know I will need to be extra dilligent and stead fast when over there house helping.  I have made some preperations, I am bringing my son in law and my daughter both non smokers and both strong supporters of me not smoking.   so if I need a pep talk, hug or reinforment it is there.

You know back around Christmas I was writing about how good things were going and all seemed so bright and wonderful the future was looking and then one morning I woke up and was sucker punched right between the eyes, losing my Job, Bill my brother in law, Joe my Best hunting bud, it is amazing how fast life can turn on you.   Not much I can do about it except work my way through it,  Pull my man pants up and get to moving things back in to the sunlight.  Deep breathes, a tear hear and there when a moment floods in memory of Bill or Joe and new aventures ahead.   Looking at the difference between when My Brother passed and now I am so much more stable,  my thoughts are clearer,  my reasoning sharper, my strength and self assteem provide me the foundation to put into prospective and pritoritize what needs to be done, how to do it and when to stop and breath, close my eyes, to cleanse some of the emotional clutter.   I feel much better, the Vent has done what a vent should do.

Deep breath and  get ready for the final interview tomorrow.

[jillar]

Aw man opah, sorry for the loss of your brother in law and  friend 

[Sazerac]

dear Opah, you are having a horrible time lately,  I am so sorry.

Don't make it all worse by smoking.

Remember Cristóbal's Wisdom

Your Quit & Your Life

 

There are a lot of 'grief' sites out there

maybe one can help you

Top 50 Web Sites and Forums For Grief Counseling

[notsmokinjo]

I'm sorry for your losses Opah. It might not feel like it now but it gets better and easier... and smoking wont make that happen, only time will. I lost a friend and a family member within days of each other early in my quit and it was a close call at times but smoking wasn't going to help me heal and I am so glad I realised that. I think you know that too. I also lost my job as the business I had worked for closed down, being able to tell prospective employers I was a non-smoker certainly lifted my spirits.

Good luck with the interview.

[Lilly]

This post is so sad. I felt like it was just you and me when I read that. 

 

So sorry for what you are going through - and have been through. 

 

Rooting for you with your interview X x

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Aww O....this is sad reading ...I'm sorry for your losses.....

Stay strong....and sending you a cyber hug x

[Opah]

I have desided to call it a day here at work, the DC is so quite, machines are still and I am having such a hard time setting here.

Need to be "all that" tomorrow morning for this interview.

 if all works out A job will not be one of the things i need to worry about, then  I can deal with the Loss of my Friends and family.

They say Death comes in 3s ?  if that is true I am done with it for the now,  Marky my younger brother, Bill  my brother in law and Joe makes 3.

Back to Deep breathes, and focus one the Immidiate   "The Interview"     God I miss being Young the Good old Days

 

[Opah]

So here I am Wednesday midle of the week and just read an Email stating thats it, we are dne, no possiblility or Hope of staying open.

you have 29 days of work and then Austa yo whaivos, arrivadurchy, any other way we need to say good bye.

29 days, I have spent the last 30 days selling my self on the internet, I have song my praise over the phone and pandered in person.

and a job is still not a positive.   I have had hard times in the Past and here I am  in all my glory, ready to take on this new challenge,

I my younger I would Boast when your good your good, BUT when your better than good your Me and could pretty much prove it any day of the week.  So now Opah its time to prove it to your self,  are you as good as you once was ?

 

 

Nothing Better for the soul then a huge smile and a Cyber hug !

Edited March 6, 2019 by Opah

[Sazerac]

Hang in there Opah.

Things have a way of working out

regardless of how much we worry or fret.

Protect your quit and be kind to yourself.

Reward yourself, you still need to be diligent in re-wiring your brain receptors.

So, take a nice walk. Do something that you really, really will enjoy.

[Doreensfree]

0...as one door shuts ..another one opens ...its not over till the fat lady sings ...

Sending you that Smile and a Hug ....go pamper yourself on something good....your worth it .!!!!

 

[Lilly]

Big (((hug))) from me x

[Opah]

WHOOO HOOOO,  Ive been Hugged

[Mee]

Opah, we all hate those times in life that we have lost all control.  As difficult as those periods were hard to go through, they always make you grow and were changes that were meant to be.

I think you have a wonderful attitude and it will carry you through this.   You have a hug from me too.  Hang in there.

[Wantsit]

So sorry for your loses Opah. These last 3 out of four months have been a bit trying here as well. But the strange thing is every time I thought about a smoke for a second it vanished as quick as it came. I didn't even consider lighting up. It has been 4 months and I feel totally different than I have in 40 years. I don't feel like I have to have the damn things every time something bad happens and it sounds like you are almost there yourself. Don't give in now because you're there! I saw first hand what it looks like to go through the pain of needing the Nicobitch and I didn't realize I was once that way. It saddened me see her go through the desperation of needing that first smoke of the day and not able to have it, it had been14 hours, being around our grandkids. I actually hurt for her so bad that I told her to please consider and try to think about putting them down. Done rambling but Great job Opah, and keep on keepin on!

[Opah]

Wantsit:

Your Rambles are my insperation, Thank you 

[Sazerac]

I know you have a lot going on, Opah, 

none of which will change for the better if you smoke.

Smoking will only bring you down.

 

At two months, your quit is young and tender.

Please, protect it and be extra kind to yourself.

These are crucial months of your successful quit.

Be aware of triggers and stay vigilant.

 

You are winning.  You Don't Smoke.

[Opah]

You guys inspire me on a daily basis,  I realy am a Blessed man.  How antone could quit without a premire support group on their side is beyound me.   I hope there is someone out there peeking in on us, wondering if they could quit and see what a beautiful avenue this is to take.  in fact,         I know  i play this quit often but it really cheers me up and reminds me of us.