Hello Again

[Lilly]

You are both very brave and strong ladies @Rozuki and @Linda Thomas

 

 

[Sazerac]

Hey Lilly,

How is your quit going ?

How many days ?

How are you feeling ?

How are you dealing with triggers and craves ?

Are you using any NRTs ?

[Lilly]

Gosh that's like a cross examination

 

I'm still quit but definitely not confident. I've been in bed since I quit and only got up today. Haven't had to deal with triggers/craves yet. 

 

Not using NRT yet but do have a pack of lozenges on standby.

Edited March 9, 2019 by Lilly

[abbynormal]

@Lilly it's probably a blessing you've been in bed all this time. I slept for about 3 days after I quit. Sleep can help you get through the worst of it. I hope you are feeling a bit better. I'm sorry you've been so sick!

 

You will grow more confident in your quit as time passes.

[Sazerac]

6 hours ago, Lilly said:

Gosh that's like a cross examination

 

I'm still quit but definitely not confident. I've been in bed since I quit and only got up today. Haven't had to deal with triggers/craves yet. 

 

Not using NRT yet but do have a pack of lozenges on standby.

 

 

The longer you can go without Nicotine the more freedom you will see.

So glad you are feeling better.  Confidence is your's for the taking.

[Lilly]

5 hours ago, Sazerac said:

 

 

The longer you can go without Nicotine the more freedom you will see.

So glad you are feeling better.  Confidence is your's for the taking.

 

I don't get why I struggle so much to stay quit. I WANT to be a non smoker, I WANT to be happy I've quit and I WANT more than anything to have a lido deck party. So why when I want it so much do I always go back. Even now I know it's not if I go back it's when I go back. 

 

I know that isn't what anyone on a quit smoking site wants to hear but I'm just being honest. 

 

Cigarettes always win in my life. 

 

 

[Reciprocity]

Lilly - it's the same for all of us no matter what path we take to quit smoking. NRT Champix or cold turkey; doesn't matter, It's all the same in the end. You have to be prepared to endure a short period of discomfort in order to feel normal again without smoking. It's just the way it is for everyone. Until you are prepared to go through that adjustment you will struggle and repeat the same scenario you have done for over a year now . You need to just quit smoking!! It won't kill you but continuing to smoke might just do that  

 

Based on what you have said over this past year I am very concerned that you may have already done damage to your lungs. Have you seen a pulmonologist for an assessment of your lung function in the past year? (A PFT assessment and CT Scan of your lungs) If not; please do this. You need to stop smoking right now and get your lungs checked. This is serious business. Just do it no matter what the temporary upset to you might be. You can't afford to go on like this! I'm sorry if this upsets you but you need to address your addiction to nicotine immediately!   

 

We all thought we could not live without cigarettes at one time but we have all just said ..... NO; no more!! And, we have all endured what ever discomfort we had to in order to come out the other side as non smokers. YOU CAN DO IT TOO!! You need to believe this and just do it. Like I said, quitting won;t kill you.

[notsmokinjo]

Stop giving the smokes so much power Lilly... you are the one with with power, only you... you need to be the one to not put something in your mouth and burn it. The battle isn't with anything but yourself Lilly.... you have to let yourself win... first step is believing you can do it.

[Doreensfree]

Lilly...you are no more addicted to what any of us where....

We just made the decision to never smoke again ....Ever ....no matter what was happening ...

You just have to want it bad enough ....you carnt enter a quit half-hearted ...it has to be the whole of you ....

[Mee]

Lilly, it is plain and simple that you are an addict.  You become obsessed with that cigarette you are not going to have the minute you quit.  That is what an addict does.

You need to concentrate on how wonderful a life is without them.  

I was scared to death to quit but the minute I realized I could, the thought of going back repulsed me.  Once you gain the power to quit,  you need to hold onto it.  Respect it, admire it and hold onto it with all you have.   Distraction is the most important.  You were a wonderful blogger.  You really put meaning in your feelings.  You are worth so much more than that cigarette.

I believed in you from the beginning.  Now, you need to believe in yourself.  

This illness has gotten you through the withdrawal period.  Take that and go with it. You have the power to do this!

[jillar]

You've been given great advice Lilly, use us to help you past those first hard days/weeks/months. Post an SOS if you think you're going to cave to a crave and let us help you through it. No one here is a special snowflake, we all had to endure the misery and we all made it through to the other side. You can too...……...

[Sazerac]

Keep posting about what you are feeling.

When you see your words you can't help but

have awareness of your Self Sabotage.

 

You can break this silly and dangerous pattern.

It is all about choice.

You have power to put nicotine away just like all of us did.

It is not rocket science.  It is a simple choice.  NOPE.

 

The addict's voice is LOUD.

You needn't listen and obey anymore.

Go forward on the journey.

 

 

[abbynormal]

 

 

Cigarettes always win in my life. 

 

 

This right here is why you keep going back. You are giving the cigarettes too much power. As others have already said, the power is within YOU. The cigarette can't jump into your mouth and light itself.

 

The choice is YOURS.

 

We are all addicts here. None of us had it easy. We all struggled with addiction and the desire to quit. (Otherwise we wouldn't be here.) And we all made a choice to stop putting those sticks in our mouths and lighting them on fire. That's it. There's no big secret to it. You make the CHOICE every day...every hour...every minute...NOT to smoke.

 

I believe you when you say you want to be a non-smoker. I'm here to tell you that you CAN make it happen!

 

I'm here to offer support anytime. Don't hesitate to reach out.

 

Love, Abby

[Lilly]

Thank you everyone for your replies. 

 

I did hit the self destruct button like I always do and after being up for an hour I smoked. I didn't SOS because I knew nobody was going to stop me and I didn't want to go through the motions and waste everyone's time. 

 

Do you know what breaks my heart right now?  It's not smoking, it's not that I'm a complete failure - it's you people. I'm throwing away quit after quit and you all care more about me than I do about myself. I'll be honest and say I thought Jo, Doreen and Reci had completely washed their hands of me and my quits. When I saw all your names I couldn't help but cry. 

 

Reci I have already received some news about my lungs.  Nothing is confirmed at this stage it is just what my Doctor thinks could be wrong.  They want to wait six weeks before they do the tests so my chest is recovered from this illness.

 

So this morning after reading all your messages I went to see a Quit Smoking Counsellor. She wants me to use patches for the full 12 week course as she thinks this will appeal to my OCD. Following programmes is something I usually flourish with and I like to see them through. 

 

So I will be back when I start this on Wednesday which is No Smoking Day in the UK. Again picking a special day also appeals to my OCD

 

Thank you again. You have no idea how much you all make a difference to other peoples lives x

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Reciprocity]

I sincerely hope the direct one on one counselling helps keep you focused and on track Lilly. Another thing that quitting will do for you is show you just how strong you can be. The feeling of pride in accomplishing this amaze you. We're always standing by here to support you and anyone else making a serious attempt at quitting this ugly addiction.

[notsmokinjo]

I'm sorry that you had to go to a quit smoking Councillor but I am happy that you did. You now have a plan and I used my OCD and competitive streak to get me through the first few months. So I was mainly competing against myself but it worked for me. You have to deal with the OCD anyway, why not embrace it and make it work for you. So create a routine for yourself... at x time each day you watch a video or read an article... only needs to be 5mins worth... but its a pattern and a commitment.... build your knowledge because knowledge is power. Weegie used a quit councellor and look how successful that was for her. So maybe even a daily mantra.... I don't want to smoke, I will not smoke.... and then as you pop off to bed at night.... "I don't want to smoke, and today I didn't".

Edited March 11, 2019 by notsmokinjo

[Sazerac]

I am sorry but, not surprised to hear you relapsed, Lilly.

You dropped red flags all over the place.

That is one of the reasons why I asked you about your quit , earlier in this thread.

 

I thought if you were encouraged to stay current with yourself, you might avert another relapse.

The responses from this community have been spectacular.  Please take them all to heart.

 

Addiction is a serious business and it takes being brutally honest with yourself, 

which turns out to be one of the best rewards.

 

I am sorry you are waiting until Wednesday. I bet those last few smokes are going to be scrumptious (not).

Wednesday is not a magical day that ensures a successful quit, you know.

If you don't commit to yourself and your quit you might as well forget it.

 

Will you educate yourself about your addiction ?

I know you think you are educated 'enough'  but, it obviously isn't sinking in.

 

Education will help you separate from addiction.

You can begin to understand your actions and feelings through the withdrawal process instead of acting out.

 

Education gives you Power.

So does quitting.

 

Freedom from nicotine opens up a whole new world of self-respect and confidence and the ability to honestly Trust yourself.

All of which will benevolently change you.

Please give your quit and yourself a chance.

 

 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

I can see why you have picked Wednesday ....it's a statement ..NO SMOKING DAY...but ....

It sounds as if your lungs need help from today !!!!....so why wait ....?????

We have had quite a few people quit with help with patches ..you can do this ....

We can support you 100%....but Lilly you have to do the work ....

[Mee]

9 hours ago, Lilly said:

I'm throwing away quit after quit and you all care more about me than I do about myself.

 Oh Lilly.  I think you will never be able to finally quit until you care about yourself.   I wish you could grasp the power of your quit and start to feel how important your life is.  

It really is like running a marathon.  You get part way through the race and give up.  If you would just push yourself to the end, you feel the awesome sense of accomplishment.  

Stay in touch and know that we are here for you.  

Edited March 11, 2019 by Linda Thomas

[Whispers]

I'm sorry to read this lilly. Dust yourself off and get back at it.

12 hours ago, Sazerac said:

Education will help you separate from addiction.

You can begin to understand your actions and feelings through the withdrawal process instead of acting out.

 

Education gives you Power.

So does quitting.

 

Freedom from nicotine opens up a whole new world of self-respect and confidence and the ability to honestly Trust yourself.

All of which will benevolently change you.

Please give your quit and yourself a chance.

^^^ This right here.

 

All i can add is: Smoking is not something you give up, it's something you get free of

[Sazerac]

It was great to see your NOPE

for your first day of Freedom, Lilly.

 

How are you feeling ?

[Lilly]

6 minutes ago, Sazerac said:

It was great to see your NOPE

for your first day of Freedom, Lilly.

 

How are you feeling ?

 

Thank you Saz. I'm feeling really happy right now and ready to face this beast for the final time. 

 

The support from all of you really lifted my spirits x

Edited March 12, 2019 by Lilly

[Joe7]

Congratulations on your whole new approach Lilly. I hope it gets you where you want be.

[Reciprocity]

Glad to see you are back at it and ready to make this your permanent quit. You will never regret it - I promise you.

[Mee]

1 hour ago, Lilly said:

 

Thank you Saz. I'm feeling really happy right now and ready to face this beast for the final time. 

You go girl!   You can do this Lilly.  Let's make this quit your last!