Hello Again

[Lilly]

I have just put out my last cigarette. I forced myself to have it just so I could say I had my last cigarette at 7.20pm. I physically couldn't inhale but I needed to go through the whole last cigarette ritual. 

 

I'm on day 5 of pneumonia and I can't hear much above the sound of my chest. I can't walk to the toilet without help, I haven't washed my hair or had a shower in all that time. I take more steroids, inhalers and antibiotics than I can count and still I can't breathe. This is the most frightened I have ever felt but I am one of the lucky ones. I know I will be up and about in time but if I carry on smoking this could be my life. 

 

I sleep as much as I can and have almost zero energy so I won't be able to take part too much but will read x

 

 

[Sazerac]

Addiction is a horrible thing, Lilly, but it is conquerable.

I hope you are able to quit smoking.

 

[Mee]

Oh Lily, I hope you can quit this time.  It is amazing how much healthier you feel after quitting.  Take care and we will be here to help you through.

[WeegieWoman]

Aw Lilly that sounds fecking horrible. You need to chuck the fags big time!!!  

 

Have you got a plan or just going for it? 

[Lilly]

Just going for it. It's really easy when you physically can't smoke. The choice has been taken away so no internal debates, no thoughts - just nothing.

 

Hope you're ok and life is good x

[jillar]

Sorry you're not feeling good Lilly. Congrats on throwing the cigs away. You can do it this time. Stay close and post an SOS if you feel yourself caving to a crave

[notsmokinjo]

Welcome back Lilly, even if it's under awful circumstances. You can do this.

[MLMR]

10 hours ago, Lilly said:

I have just put out my last cigarette. I forced myself to have it.

 

... but if I carry on smoking this could be my life.

 

 

 

You forced yourself to have a cigaret so you can quit smoking because your life is at stake. Where's the logic in that? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[WeegieWoman]

Could be Allen Carr logic, I remember smoking the 'last cigarette' at one point during that book. You are told to. 

 

Im sure plenty of us have smoked a 'last cigarette'. And thought through it, this is it, this is the last fag.  

 

 

[Doreensfree]

Quitting can only help the repair .....your lungs will no doubt thank you ...good for you ...

[MLMR]

7 hours ago, WeegieWoman said:

Im sure plenty of us have smoked a 'last cigarette'. And thought through it, this is it, this is the last fag.  

It does show addictions face, smoking a last cigarette through horrible pneumonia while on steroids, antibiotics and inhalers. I really believe awareness about ones own junky mind comes afterwards and needs to be cultivated. Thats where a solid quit is build..

 

-edit- I think what I mean is, putting it out is, as crazy as it sounds, just a part of quitting. Its really nothing more than... putting it out. The ritual thing gives the cigaret way more credit than it deserves. 

 

I whish you determination this time, Lilly. You say you didnt have a choice, health wise. There's always choice, whether its about smoking a last one OR smoking a first-of-many-one. 

 

 

Edited March 1, 2019 by MLMR

[Doreensfree]

I remember being that sick....no way could I have smoked ....but as soon as I was on the mend ...I made up for lost time ..smoking more ....

I wish my junkie brain had said to me .....Dont be a jerk ...

 

[WeegieWoman]

We'll need to tell Mr Carr to edit that part out his book that has helped 30 million people quit smoking. 

 

Every single person here smoked a last fag before quitting. We all did it. Healthy or not healthy. 

 

No one quitting should be scoffed at and certainly not because of their health status. 

 

[Sazerac]

 

No one is scoffing at anybody.

It is the junkie voice that is the enemy and needs to be rooted out.

 

 

23 hours ago, Lilly said:

I forced myself to have it just so I could say I had my last cigarette at 7.20pm

 

The addict's voice is always a red flag.

 

Addiction is a biotch.

 

[WeegieWoman]

Jeez. When someone is still smoking they are clearly still addicted, still an addict. Someone smoking their last fag is still in the midst of addiction. Red flags, eat your heart out. Never have guessed we re at a stop smoking forum? Addiction is a bitch and something some of us have overcome, some are still trying. But a sick person smoking their last fag and trying to quit.... If I had lung cancer and wanted to quit would you be equally as cold to me? Smoking a last fag is the norm!!!! No red flags. Read the book. Book or not we all did it. Folk here have had family members die as smokers from smoking related illnesses. Everyone deserves encouragement not a pissy attitude 

[Mona]

Hope you are back to good health soon, Lilly.

[notsmokinjo]

I had my last smoke at 11:48pm on 27th of November 2017....we all had a last smoke. Don't get caught in the semantics.

 

A big part of smoking is the ritual, only makes sense that for some a big part of quitting will be ritual as well...

[Whispers]

On 2/28/2019 at 2:51 PM, Lilly said:

I have just put out my last cigarette. I forced myself to have it just so I could say I had my last cigarette at 7.20pm. I physically couldn't inhale but I needed to go through the whole last cigarette ritual. 

 

I'm on day 5 of pneumonia and I can't hear much above the sound of my chest. I can't walk to the toilet without help, I haven't washed my hair or had a shower in all that time. I take more steroids, inhalers and antibiotics than I can count and still I can't breathe. This is the most frightened I have ever felt but I am one of the lucky ones. I know I will be up and about in time but if I carry on smoking this could be my life. 

 

I sleep as much as I can and have almost zero energy so I won't be able to take part too much but will read x

 

 

Feel better lily, moving forward you can use what youre going though now as motivation. First things first you need to get healthy, godspeed

[Doreensfree]

Get well soon Lily...

We have given Mona a idea ,to team up with you ...the both of you seem to struggle to keep a sticky quit ...

Work as a team ..spur each other on....what have you got to lose ...it just might get you both your sticky quit...if not .....then you havnt lost anything you had before..

Consider it ...plus you two should stay closer and post more often ,this also will spur you both on ...

Try something different ....who knows ...what magic will happen ...

 

[Lilly]

Thanks everyone for your posts. 

 

A couple of people came to sit with me through the week. One brought soup and the other brought me the Allen Carr book. 

 

I had the cigarette for two reasons. One because it was what he said to do, and two because if I hadn't then as soon as I was better that would be my reason for relapsing. I knew I would tell myself I hadn't had that last cigarette so I'm going to do it now etc. 

 

I am definitely going down the NRT route so I'm trying out lots of different stuff tomorrow night. 

[Mona]

I hope whatever you choose works for you, Lily.  Have you ever had a long-term quit?  If not, trust me when I say that it's great!

[Doreensfree]

Knowing that being smoke free is a great feeling ...should be the biggest reason for you to stay smoke free Mona....

[Mona]

4 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

Knowing that being smoke free is a great feeling ...should be the biggest reason for you to stay smoke free Mona....

Absolutely Doreen!  I mentioned that in another thread.  Feeling great as a nonsmoker is the prize!  No other incentive is necessary.

[Rozuki]

I had my last poison stick right after the doctor at  urgent care told me I had a stroke. Imagine this, crazy as it sounds -  my friend was bringing me to the emergency room and I told him I was not getting into his truck until I smoked one last poison stick....cuz I knew it would be the last one I would ever have!!!! That was over 2 years ago now!!!! I am so happy I no longer smoke......

[Mee]

1 hour ago, Rozuki said:

I had my last poison stick right after the doctor at  urgent care told me I had a stroke. Imagine this, crazy as it sounds -  my friend was bringing me to the emergency room and I told him I was not getting into his truck until I smoked one last poison stick....cuz I knew it would be the last one I would ever have!!!! That was over 2 years ago now!!!! I am so happy I no longer smoke......

That says it all about the addiction.  We smoke even with the scare of death.  I actually smoked through radiation for breast cancer.  Now that I have quit, I just shudder to think about how foolish that was.  I am so grateful to be a nonsmoker!