I Am The Sarge: AMA

[sgt.barney]

Ask Me Anything (AMA)[1]

 

(in response to this topic)

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

FOOTNOTES:

[1] A rare spring good-weather (no-rain) day so answers will have to wait until evening. The Sarge is going back out to the orchard and vinyard to get some work done ...

 

[Petra]

Do you have any kids or dogs?  

[BAT]

What Branch were you in?

[sharonsiff]

Are you romantic towards Mrs Sarge?

[sgt.barney]

[1] A rare spring good-weather (no-rain) day so answers will have to wait until evening. The Sarge is going back out to the orchard and vinyard to get some work done ...

 

F_ck.

 

Half of the Peach Trees have picked up some unidentified disease. It's not Leaf Curl, it's not Powdery Mildew - two of The Sarge's normal Evil Nemesis in the orchard. No peaches this year ... and 5 or 6 well established trees may just die. Those were the first trees Sarge put in the orchard 8 years ago. They were 5 year old transplants. 13 years of growth down the drain. F_cking mother nature ...

 

OTOH - Pears, Apples, Cherries, Plums, Grapes and the Berry Patch are hummin' along just fine.  Lost one of last year's new Asian Pear trees to fireblight, but that's to be expected in this area with pear trees. One of five - 20% is about right for almost new, second year transplants. They're not really strong enough to fight off the disease and one out of four or one out of five is pretty normal loss on seedlings.

 

Time to answer some questions ...

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

Do you have any kids or dogs?  

 

No kids - never saw a reason ... and one of us has to be broken ... Married for 16 years, live-in/shack-up for 8 years prior and no "whoopsie" accidents. Something is broken, but neither of us ever really wanted kids so we never checked it out. She's had problems her whole life with a regular cycle and for the last 2.5 The Sarge himself is only firing on one cylinder.

 

Had dogs our whole lives. Back in 2011 we lost the last one (Ginger - a beagle/shepard mix) had her for 15 years at time of death. No idea how old she was - she was a shelter rescue so we don't know how old she was when we got her.

 

Haven't replaced her yet as its been nice to travel without worrying about who's going to take care of The Dogs while we're gone, and nobody has to rush home to feed her and take her out every day.  Freedom is nice.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

What Branch were you in?

 

US Army 1987-89.  Infantry. Served the whole 2-year hitch with 29th Infantry in Ft. Benning, Georgia.  Initially 11B (Ground pounding grunt - foot soldier) but transferred to 11C (Mortars). Mechanized mortars. Became an instructor teaching new Infantry basic trainees at Benning the finer points of trying to hit targets more than a mile away with the biggest mortar in the Army inventory at the time.

 

Did the minimum two years and got out to go to college. BS CS (Bachelor Science, Computer Science) received in 1994. Graduated and got a job with IBM as a programmer/analyst in 1995 left in 1997 to start my own gig and ran a software development firm until 2009, sold out, and semi-retired. )

 

Signed up with the Ohio Army National Guard (Weekend Warrior) a few months before starting school. 1990 through 1996 did a 6-year enlistment with the 197th Infantry out of Cincinnati, Ohio.  11C (Mortars) again, only this time wasn't an instructor. Transferred off the gun line (the guys actually firing the mortars) to FDC (Fire Directon Center) about 2 years in. This is the command center that directs combat operations for a mortar section.

 

Got out in '96, hung around and helped out / volunteer work with the unit for another 6 months or so and finally left in 1997 never to return again.

 

The Sarge doesn't miss it for a second.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

Are you romantic towards Mrs Sarge?

 

Really?

 

Who do you know that would stay with a partner for 25+ years without romance? [1]

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

FOOTNOTE:

[1] HINT: That's an implied "yes".

[Jenny]

What were the first 2 weeks of your quit like?  Hell and Heck weeks.

[SueBeDoo]

Yeah Sarge good man for doing this ;)

 

Who was your first crush?

How many brothers, sisters do you have, are you close?

What was the best holiday you went on?

When did you start gardening?

What famous person would you want to sleep with?

Did you go to college?

Did you like school, were you studious or sporty?

Did you win any medals or trophies in school?

[sgt.barney]

What were the first 2 weeks of your quit like?  Hell and Heck weeks.

 

 

You can search TheOtherPlace for history, but The Sarge has described it in the past as "two days of mild discomfort followed by ... nothing. Easy Peasy".

 

The first day, The Sarge wasn't sure of himself ... and Mrs. Sarge giving in before the end of the first day (not even 12 hours in) didn't help - but by the end of the second day he knew.

 

Minor cravings here and there but nothing more than expected.

 

All The Sarge can say is that there really must be a lot of folks who have zero discomfort in their lives if they complain about this. The Sarge has seen many difficult and uncomfortable things in his life, but this ain't one of 'em [1]

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

 

FOOTNOTES:

[1] Then again, he runs 26 mile races, jumps out of airplanes, and scales 500 ft. walls on a length of what looks like not much more than dental floss for "fun" so ... he's different that way.

[SueBeDoo]

How did you first feel after the ball op first removal of bandages, how long were you in hospital for, how did mrs sarge cope through it all, did you become closer after it or just the same ( sorry if too personal ignore x)

[...]

I love this !!!!

[sharonsiff]

Really?

 

Who do you know that would stay with a partner for 25+ years without romance? [1]

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

FOOTNOTE:

[1] HINT: That's an implied "yes".

Sadly my mother ;)...still takes all sorts. Glad to hear Mrs Sarge gets plenty of romance.

[Soberjulie]

The Sarge's biggest pet peeve is ___________

And when _________happens, the Sarge is inclined to ___________.

[sgt.barney]

Yeah Sarge good man for doing this ;)

 

Who was your first crush?

At the same time both: Annette Funicello from the Mickey Mouse Club and a little 5-year-old girl in his kindergarten class named Harriet-Jo Osmont.  

 

How many brothers, sisters do you have, are you close?

Two sisters. One (younger)  lives 4 miles away and The Sarge's see her several times a week - her house is on most of our running routes during training for Marathons and we'll stop in every time we're on a run that takes us that way. . The other sister (older) lives 500 miles away outside of Birmingham, AL. She moved down there to "get away from it all" ... if that tells you anything about (lack of) family closeness. See her once every 2 or 3 years and it's never fun for anyone involved.

 

What was the best holiday you went on?

Honeymoon, 1998. A month backpacking in Europe. We had a flight into Paris from The States, and a flight out of Rome back home 26 days later. Nothing planned for the month in between.  No car. No hotels. No plan on where we wanted to go. We woke up each day and asked ourselves: "Where do you want to go today" and did it.  Oh - you want to go to Venice today? Sure!  A backpack and EuroRail pass each and we improvised the entire month. Most was spent in Italy. Did some time in France, some in Switzerland and most in Italy.

When did you start gardening?

Bought this place with 9 acres in 2002.  Took a while to clear and reclaim the land and make it useable for Orchard, Vinyard, and Garden ... so ... maybe 2004, 2005-ish? Prior to that lived in a condo with exactly 18 square feet of front yard (no space for garden - not even enough for a proper barbeque) and The Sarge would have laughed (quite loudly) in your face if you'd have told him he'd be gardening for a hobby in between job gigs.

What famous person would you want to sleep with?

None. The Sarge isn't that shallow. 

(No - really!)

Did you go to college?

BSCS (Bachelor of Science, Computer Science, 1994 University of Cincinnati).  Due to the curriculum overlap and Sarge's interest with electives at the time, he's a mere 19 credit hours away from an additional BA (Bachelor of Arts, Mathematics) ... but he's never found a reason to go back and finish the Math degree.

 

Did you like school, were you studious or sporty?

The Sarge has no interest in sports.  Physical activity? Sure!  Throwing a ball or puck or <whatever> around to Beat The Other Guy?  What's the point? Simply standing on the sidelines "rooting" for one side or the other? Are you for real?

 

Hates school, but loves learning and did well in college (top 5% of Computer Science Dept. (putting him in top 10% of University of Cincinnati Graduates and top 15% of McMicken College of Arts And Sciences graduates that year (1994))  

Did you win any medals or trophies in school?

Didn't do sports.  Deans list just about every quarter in college. Metric crap-ton of military ribbons and medals.

[sgt.barney]

How did you first feel after the ball op first removal of bandages, how long were you in hospital for, how did mrs sarge cope through it all, did you become closer after it or just the same ( sorry if too personal ignore x)

 

 

The procedure: Inguinal Orchiectomy

 

Miserable. The Sarge doesn't like brain fog, so he didn't fill the pain meds Rx.

 

The pain was abdominal, not where you would think. They go in from the lower abdominals and pull everything up through the same tube that many men have hernia problems with.  The cut is in the (very lower) abdominal muscles. Muscles you use to do just about everything.

 

They warned about laughing. Caughing. Sneezing.  Pain. Pain. and Pain.

 

They didn't warn about taking a crap. Just try to push one out without squeezing abdominals. Try it. The Sarge dares you. It can't be done.

 

Took two days to be able to get out of bed without a walker/cane. Again - try to swing those legs around to the floor from the bed without using abdominals ... and about 4 days to walk normally. Running again within a week.

 

 

It's out-patient. Not even a real hospital. Total time out: less than 40 minutes. Time in the operating room: 18-minutes. It's a quick, clean, and easy procedure. You could watch one on youtube ... but The Sarge warns against that. It's quick and easy ... but if blood and guts and pieces/parts bother you ... better stay away from the youtube vidies.

 

What's to cope? So you don't have sex for a week. Not really a big deal.

 

Everything's pretty much the same, except there's only one to play with ... oh - and even though it's the Left that remains, you'd never know it. It kinda centered up and rides in the middle now. 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

The Sarge's biggest pet peeve is Stupid People

And when Your Stupidity happens, the Sarge is inclined to tell you to go f*ck yourself (without regard to who is in earshot)

 

Not, you, Julie - but the generic "you" to anyone belonging to the set: Stupid People.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[SueBeDoo]

Jez ouch x

[SueBeDoo]

Where did you meet Mrs Sarge and where/ how did you propose?

What does Mrs Sarge work at?

What is a typical day in the life of the Sarge?

[sgt.barney]

Sadly my mother ;)...still takes all sorts.

 

Sucks for her, then, huh?

 

 

Easy Peasy

[sgt.barney]

Where did you meet Mrs Sarge and where/ how did you propose?

Between when Sarge ETS'ed (End of Time in Service from the Army) and starting college (Set the WayBackMachine to 1989, Mr. Peabody), he moved back to his hometown in with his best buddy. You know the deal - house full of teenagers (18, 19, 20) - graduated high school but not yet into real life. Half not even into college yet.

 

Kind of a college aged flop-house with an old-school "kegger" 3 nights a week and home-grown marijuana cultivated in the back yard. Yep. That kind of place.  

 

Mrs. Sarge was a random, drunken encounter 25 years ago.

 

Since everybody without a permanent residence just sort of flopped on the floor, she quickly moved into The Sarge's room .. and we've been "shackin' up" ever since. Made it legal about 8-and-a-half years later when Becky became Mrs. Sarge.

 

What does Mrs Sarge work at?

 

By education, she's money. Two degrees (Finance and Accounting), and holds a CPA (Certified Public Accountant) but since 1998 or so she's been  IT like The Sarge.  She slings and wrangles data from a gajillion systems into Financial Reports at the local TelCo (Cincinnati Bell Telephone) for the C-level execs (CEO, CFO, etc)

 

What is a typical day in the life of the Sarge?

Boring and dull ... Typical rural/farm-life.

 

[andrew66]

was miss sarge standing to attention when you proposed ?

[sgt.barney]

was miss sarge standing to attention when you proposed ?

 

She was sitting enjoying a Mud Pie at our favorite restaurant at the time.

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Paul723]

A.

Here is a smoking related question, I've read about your desire to have your wife quit and thought she might do it on your last vacation (rats that she didn't), so what do you think can get someone else to quit?  What have you tried that didn't work?  I have a list of 14 people that I work with and it is a personal goal of mine to help them all quit.  I know this is a hard question that maybe defies an easy peasy answer.  I hate smoking and wish there was a way to help people stop.  I've read a lot of threads about "what made you quit" and the answers are so varied that I struggle to see how to get someone to take the first step of the journey.

 

B.

Have you ever made sausage?