The Lie

[NADA]

I'm not sure if there are others out there who believe that smoking and lying go hand-in-hand, but I found myself lying to people throughout my life about whether I smoked, how much I smoked, and if it was effecting my health.  This is a post I wrote a few years ago.

 

Most of us smokers began our years or decades of addiction back when we were teens.  We learned to lie about smoking right from the very beginning.  Usually it started with our parents asking why we smelled like a rancid ashtray.  “Oh, I was at Johnny Picklefork’s house and his mom smokes like a chimney” I nervously responded.  “That Bertha Picklefork really needs to cut back” my mom would chuckle.

 

A few months later my mother met me at the door with a pack of reds in her hand as I returned from school.  “Young man, what was this doing in your sock drawer?” I let out a small sigh of relief knowing that it was only the cigarettes that she found. “Um, Tammy Tamblanadana’s brother was grounded for smoking so Tammy asked if I could hold on to them for a few days”.

 

Sometime later my dad drove by me holding a cigarette in my hand while hanging out with the neighborhood kids. When asked about this at dinner, I effortlessly told him, “I was just holding it for Jin Dong while she tied her shoe”.

 

Once it was second nature to lie to my parents about smoking, it became just as easy to lie to myself about it.

• I can quit any time I want.
• I just do it to calm myself down.
• It relaxes me.
• It’s just a habit.

 

The list could go on forever.  It kept me in the cycle of addiction for decades until one day I called it out for what it was:  Pure Bulls&@t!

 

Not only are the health benefits endless when you quit, but it’s incredibly liberating to stop lying to yourself and others.

 

P.S.  The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent.

[Doreensfree]

Great post BKP...

I was 11 years old ...I lied for years ...to my parents....it was that long ago now ...I carnt remember them...I smoked then for 52 years ...

At that age you dont expect to be a smoker all your adult life ...if someone had told me that at 11 ,I would have thought they were barmy....

Like you my friend the biggest lie was telling myself ,it was my reward ....I enjoyed it ...I could stop when ever I wanted ...

All Lies...killing myself slowly ,is not a reward ....I didn't enjoy it ...I was hooked ...a addict... I can quit anytime I want .....I prooved that lie,with my million attempts to quit and fail...

[Whispers]

Very few smokers gave you that answer, i just dont care. There is a cycle with addicts. With serious drugs or other issues they will go way passed the lying and manipulate you to feeling sorry for them.

55 minutes ago, BKP said:

The list could go on forever.  It kept me in the cycle of addiction for decades until one day I called it out for what it was:  Pure Bulls&@t!

https://www.narconon.org/blog/drug-addiction/vicious-cycle-addiction/

[Mee]

I was raised in a very strict upbringing.  I would have never gone against my parents.  I graduated high school on a Friday and started my first secretarial job the following Monday.  I felt so free and like an adult.  I remember my first pack.  I sat and smoked it at lunch break thinking I was so cool looking and finally a free adult.  That was at age 18.  It did not take long for the rosy glow to fade.  I married at 21 and had my first child at 22.  I could not stop.  I smoked through both my pregnancies and had low birth weights and two miscarriages.   I was so ashamed, I would only smoke at home and not in public.  I lied to everyone.  I would even lie to my doctor, who probably knew.  My friends would often say I smelled like smoke but I would say they are crazy.  

I think one of the reasons we feel so empowered after quitting is because we can finally be true to ourselves and everyone else.

 

Edited January 10, 2019 by Linda Thomas

[Reciprocity]

Nice post LT 

[Sazerac]

I was always out of the closet with smoking,

didn't lie about it, didn't care.

I 'LOVED' smoking. I smoked everywhere.

Smoking and I were like white on rice, inseparable for 40 something years.

I didn't trouble myself about it.

Quit while pregnant, resumed after the birth.

 

Then, a bit over five years ago, it dawned on me that I was just like a junkie.

I hated junkies,

(even threw Tim Hardin out of my house for shooting up in my bathroom).

I knew nothing about addiction.

 

I quit on a whim and lurked here and there,  

immersing myself in an education about nicotine and nicotine addiction.

 

With information,  I understood the lies, the lies and the denial.

It strengthened my resolve.

I

 

 

[onthemark]

Quote

With information,  I understood the lies, the lies and the denial.

It strengthened my resolve.

^THIS^