Failure on day 17

[CanadianProud]

Hello, this is my first time posting. I am 33 years old and came down with the flu a few weeks ago, which lead to pneumonia. 10 days after I was diagnosed with pneumonia I was hospitalized for 3 days due to low blood oxygen levels. I was released from hospital last Monday  (2 nights ago). During my sickness I did not smoke. It was a struggle to breathe and I had no desire to smoke. I told myself I would never smoke again because I made it this far. Also, after getting a glimpse of what living with lung disease is like, I wanted to quit before I developed a more long-term lung disease. Well since getting out of hospital I have really been struggling. I am so emotional. Partly because I missed out on so much over the Christmas break due to my illness, and Christmas is my favourite time of the year. Partly because not smoking makes me sad. I don't even fully understand why I am so sad, but I have been crying a lot. I work from home so I am all alone during the day, and being back to my normal routine makes me feel like I am missing out by not taking my smoke breaks. I know it sounds silly, but I feel very deprived. Anyways, today I broke down and found my pack of cigarettes that I gave to my non-smoking husband (they were in his sock drawer) and smoked three. My lungs are still recovering, it was so stupid. Now I'm even more emotional. I don't want to be a smoker, but I love smoking. Sorry for the rambling. just feeling very emotional and thought I'd try reaching out to others who might understand what I am going through.

I should also add, I was a pack-a-day smoker from 14 yrs - 27 yrs. I quit for 2 years, using the patch for 3 months, when my husband and I decided to try for a baby. We got pregnant with twins. I stupidly started again around their first birthday. At first it was just a couple of smokes a day with my coffee during their nap, but it slowly turned into a half-a-pack-a-day habit. Now I want to quit even more for them, so I can be around as long as possible, be healthy for them, and set a good example. Nevertheless, the cravings are so strong.

[Reciprocity]

It sounds like your experience at Christmas was pretty scary and you need to keep that in mind as motivation to quit for good. Education about this addiction is key so please read all you can here and watch some of the Joel video's that may address some of your questions and concerns. The support you will receive here is amazing and comes fro others who are in the process or have already quit successfully so .... we get it! We understand what you are going through. The mental process of quitting is what takes the most effort and time and that's why you feel lost or like you're missing something right now. You need time to retrain your brain to be comfortable as a non smoker again. It takes time. No short cuts unfortunately.

Others will be along to give you some tips and advice too. It's a great place to keep in touch with if you are serious about quitting  

 

Welcome aboard CanadianProud  

[jillar]

Welcome Canadianproud, quitting smoking is an emotional roller-coaster the first few weeks/months. Some cry, some get angry. It's all normal and something we have to go through when we quit. First thing you must do though is throw out the cigarettes. If you don't have any than there are none to find right? Next you need to continue to take your breaks, just do something else instead of smoking. Or if worse comes to worse, smoke an air cigarette. I used mine for months. It's simply pretending you're holding a cigarette and then going through the motions of "smoking" it. Some have used cut straws, pens etc. It works great at tricking your mind into thinking it's getting the real thing.

I loved smoking too until my lungs got so damaged that I decided liked breathing more. 

Congratulations on your twins, I'm a twin, and just think of how cool it will be that they will never know their mom was a smoker as long as you quit now. You can do it. Stick close to the board. I was glued to it my whole first year. Lot's to do to keep you occupied and educated on this addiction  

[WeegieWoman]

Hi Canadian proud, welcome and love the name btw I used the patches early in my quit. Looks like you had a decent quit on them....could you maybe go back on them? Might be just what you need to get through the difficult first few weeks. I'd get down to the pharmacy asap!! 

You've come to the right place for help and support. You have brilliant reason to quit - being healthy and living long for your twins. You don't want to be a stinky mum, missing out on so much because of smoking! I quit as a young mum I know under 40 got diagnosed with lung cancer and she subsequently died. Quit now!!! That is the harsh reality but when you stop ignoring that...quitting is much easier. 

 

 

[catlover]

Hello Canadian Proud, Welcome to the Train.  The first few weeks can be hard, and I also felt low and very tired. I went to bed early and napped as much as possible. I found listening to sleep relaxation music helped me to de stress and go with the flow.  Watching Joel Spitzer Videos also helped me a lot. Pamper yourself, treat yourself, and allow yourself to eat what you want in the first few weeks, dont worry about weight gain, you can tackle that later when you are stronger. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself and your babies.

All the best and take care

[notsmokinjo]

Welcome CP... So emotionally I didn't handle things too well on previous quits...partly it was not knowing about quitting affecting your blood sugar levels .. partly it's because smoking for me was very linked to my emotions. I knew that going in this time so I knew form me the important thing was to break the habit/ritual first. I needed to reprogram how I took breaks and rewarded myself and coped with stress...I had to reprogram all that stuff before dealing with the physical... I used NRT gum... Gave myself up to 6 months on it and i needed much less... Doesn't mean I still wasn't emotional..but it took the edge off to let me work on the harder part for me. 

Now Christmas I hear you... So down under in the wonderful land of Aus we do Christmas in July....basically because Chrissy time here is summer we miss out (or don't enjoy as much) tradition hot Christmas stuff. So Chrissy day is usually in the 30s Celsius...so in July we do Christmas dinner like you Noryhies and wear our jumpers... You could have a Christmas in July...and do Aussie Christmas foods...cold seafood platters, salads, cold game off the bone...cold roast chook..trifle..pavlova...jelly cups and fairy bread.....backyard cricket or would it be lacrosse for you lot or baseball.. Just so you have something to look forward to before next Chrissy...for 1 week you get to play the Chrissy carols and they don't send you mental...trust me 36c and songs about let it snow have wierd psychological effects.

[NADA]

CP

 

You have so many reasons to quit.  You just need to learn that smoking is not a reward or pleasure or relaxer.  It's a cold-blooded killer.  And there are no valid excuses to justify smoking.  Like missing Christmas, or feeling that your smoke breaks are your special time.  Phooey!

 

Time to take this bull by the horns and slam it to the ground.  Fortunately, there's lot's of information right here on this forum to help you get through this.  It still won't be a walk in the park (at least for the first few months).  But watching videos, reading how other's coped with similar situations, and offering your help to fellow quitters will make this a much more achievable goal.  It's worth the effort.  You're worth it!

[johnny5]

Welcome aboard, CP! 

 

Life without cigarettes is a great thing.  I'm sorry to hear that you relapsed after 2 years but I hope you saw that life was better then without having to plan you life around when you could get your nicotine fix.  You just simply have to commit to never taking another puff and leaving those cigarettes behind you for good. 

 

Read up on this site about nicotine addiction.  This education can really help you stay quit for good.  Keep reaching out if you need help.

 

It is good to have you here.  You can do this!

[Sazerac]

OK, bebe.,

It is time to quit, right ?

The answer to this is YES, It IS TIME TO QUIT.

So, know that You can quit.

 

I quit, all these lovely people quit.  

It is not rocket science.

 

It is about making a commitment to yourself.

 

Embrace the new day, quit nicotine and be a free person.

You can do this.

Prepare yourself with education about nicotine addiction

and hold on for the ride.

You won't regret a thing.

Love, 

S

[Mee]

Hi Canadian Proud.  You have found the right place for the support and help to guide you through the quit journey.  I smoked for 42 years and attempted many quits without success.

Once I found this forum, it was almost as if they took my hands and guided me through.  I love the power I feel and my self esteem is through the roof knowing that I am not anchored to such a filthy habit.  How blessed you are to have twins and you are going to want to be there for every magical moment in their lives.  So please join us.  We are here for you!

[Doreensfree]

Welcome aboard ....

Time to dust down ...and get the job of quitting done ,your lungs will be ever so grateful...

I smoked 52 years...it's doable ...you just need to want it bad enough....

Those two lovely babes is a very good reason ...

Make the decision to never stick anything in your mouth ,and set fire to it ...ever....no matter what is happening in your life ...

My hubby has end stage Emphysema....This is one illness you want to avoid at all costs ....

Stay close ...

[Christian99]

All I want to (or feel that I can) add at this point is that, in 2001, I "lost" (the more appropriate phrase is "gave up") a quit of about 21 days.  Somehow, I was able to marshal the energy to  begin again.  And seventeen-plus years later, my life has been transformed and literally saved by beginning again.

 

All the best, and we know you can do it--

 

Christian99

17+ years quit

 

 

[bakon]

Nope

[despair not]

 Hi

 

The best time to quit was 20 years ago the second best time to quit is now.

 

Do it now if only for your children.

[Jengelsnew1]

Nope going on 7 years - celebrate every single nope - they add up quickly!!