Oh my goodness - did not expect that

[Mee]

Well, I have had three days of dumb and dumber installing flooring in my house.  I thought if I went to a reputable dealer, instead of the Home Depot, things would go smoother.  Needless to say, my house has been torn up for too long with Christmas next week.  I put the dogs in day care the first two days but decided to endure the third.  I can tell you that I am definitely on edge.  I have to put the house back together but grocery shopping was on my list for today.  

Had made my list but suddenly thought of something.  Finding a pen in my house can be a real challenge.  They must be well hidden or the puppies love to chew them to pieces.

In the process of trying to find a pen, I was scrounging through a drawer and what would appear?  A darn cigarette!

I have been feeling solid in my quit for a while now but I was surprised at the thoughts that went through my mind.  I actually thought about smoking it.  Just one.  Once it is gone, that is it.  

I actually thought about this for a bit and then I got up and put it down the garbage disposal.

I can say though that it was close.  I am a little shocked and disappointed at myself.  I guess it will never really be a thing of the past.  My quit will be something that will challenge me everyday.

For today, I did do the right thing.

[Reciprocity]

Hey, don't be this hard on yourself! You are not even 6 months in yet. Of course something like that is gonna tempt you big time - no surprise there  

You did the right thing and likely because you educated yourself here about what happens when someone thinks they can have "just one".

 

I say Bravo!! You done good   

 

In a year from now, when you find a smoke, you'll just laugh at it. Carry on. You will make it!

[Sazerac]

Reci is right.  

27 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

In a year from now, when you find a smoke, you'll just laugh at it. Carry on. You will make it!

 

Remember you are young in your beautiful,  strong quit.

Do not be discouraged.  You are winning.

The challenges fade by and by.

Believe us !

These situations do not have power over you.

 

You WIN.  You WIN BIG.

Now,  go reward your beautiful self, Linda.

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2018 by Sazerac

[jillar]

I agree with everyone Linda, don't be so hard on yourself. If anything be proud of yourself for throwing that damn cigarette down the disposal. You're in charge now! And I hope that your floors turn out beautiful even if it is taking longer than expected....

[Doreensfree]

Don't make me come over there with my frying pan....I have a Turkey to cook......

I'm proud of you my lovely chicklette..... You were tested...and you beat nicotine's backside.....

Give yourself a massive pat on the back.....

Believe me , if you had of smoked it ....you would be devastated .....and we would have all been very sad ....

[NADA]

 

1 hour ago, Linda Thomas said:

I guess it will never really be a thing of the past.  My quit will be something that will challenge me everyday.

For today, I did do the right thing.

 

Linda, in the grand scheme of things you're still in the early part of your quit.  I can't speak for everyone, but I believe it can become a thing of the past.  I have absolutely zero temptation to ever smoke again.  I do not think back on smoking with fondness or longing.  I know it was killing me and robbing me of my health.  You'll get there too with time.

 

It's the outcome that matters most Linda.  Yes, you did the right thing.  You did not smoke.  That is a victory. 

[notsmokinjo]

So there is a glass it has milk in it half way.... two people look at the glass.... one person says oh no that glass is half empty... the other person says oh look that glass is half full.... so these two people look at your challenge today.... on Ms Negative Nancy of the half empty glass says... I am a bad person I wanted to smoke.... But Ms Possitive Polly.... she looks at the event and says... How frickin awesome am I... I was stress, to the max, I had to be in two places at once, I had dumb and dumber invading my personal space and then I had that nicodemon in my ear telling me to smoke some skanky random leftover.... but I did not smoke, nope, nope, nope, I trashed that smoke... I stood tall.... I am a freaking quitter. Well done me!

 

Every month it gets better... but be proud of yourself because while this might have been a close call, and I can see it, I have had them... lots because apparently I had secret smokes stashed all over the house.... you answered with the knowledge you have given yourself and you said I don't think so and gave it in.

[Mee]

4 hours ago, jillar said:

I agree with everyone Linda, don't be so hard on yourself. If anything be proud of yourself for throwing that damn cigarette down the disposal. You're in charge now! And I hope that your floors turn out beautiful even if it is taking longer than expected....

They are beautiful.  I will share a pic when things are back together.  It would have been a shame to smoke that cigarette.  The floors were my reward for quitting smoking!

[Martian5]

Well done Linda, you are moving to the right mind set -- it does get better especially after this incident.  Great job, and Reci is right about how you will think at the year mark.!!!

[NADA]

6 hours ago, reciprocity said:

Hey, don't be this hard on yourself!

 

5 hours ago, jillar said:

I agree with everyone Linda, don't be so hard on yourself. 

 

Linda.....so sorry the advice you are being given is laced with profanities. They do mean well.  

[Sazerac]

Linda,

Be aware that random temptations or wild thoughts or craves 

will come up during your first year of Freedom.

They seem to come out of the blue and catch you unaware.

Please remember NOPE and hone your vigilance.

These are the last remnants of addiction,

the last neurotransmitters that haven't gotten the memo,

YOU QUIT SMOKING. 

Great Work Today, gfriend.  Great work.

[Wantsit]

Awesome Linda!! I can feel your your slight frustration lately. But I have to say you're a winner! Great job.

[johnny5]

Great job, Linda.

 

No reason to be disappointed.  As everyone else said, you're still fairly new in your quit and things will get easier.  The important thing is that you didn't smoke.  That is awesome.