Bahh!

[MLMR]

2:27 pm. Can't sleep, miserable and want to keep quit more than anything else. Yet, that urge to drive to the gasstation... ughhh. I know ill be one step closer to 'done' if I ride this out and that this is temporary. What a crappy mofo sh*t addiction this is, man!!! Crying out for help in the het middle of the night, to prevent myself from buying something that causes illness and early death. Come on... I want my mojo back, my spirit! Ahhhhhhrghhh *will get there, will get there, will get there*

[jillar]

It'll pass MLMR, you've done good by posting. This is a nasty addiction no doubt about that but I promise you each time you beat one of these nasty craves you get stronger and they get weaker. Hang in there and just keep telling yourself this too shall pass

Edited December 7, 2018 by jillar

[Reciprocity]

Back to basics MLMR! Deep Breathing until the craving passes. Read your reasons for quitting in the 1st place. Think about how awful that first puff would taste, how you would choke and the complete and utter deflation your would feel immediately after that first one, knowing you would be back to the beginning again. Distract yourself. You'll get by it. We always do  

[Martian5]

As said deep breathing will help.  Good job on posting -- shows your desire and strength for this quit.  These craves sometimes come out of nowhere but they do decrease as time goes on.  Look and concentrate on the benefits that you have gained over the last 3 months and focus on those.   It does get better!!!!

[notsmokinjo]

So glad you posted... the Nicobiatch is just using the quiet of night to try it on.. You are stronger than the crave, You are stronger than the addiction, You are the one in control.... go have a middle of the night shower... can't smoke in a shower.... and it will be all over when you are finished... you did so well to post... hope everything is going well for you.

[Rozuki]

Yah....those middle of night craves are the worst!!! Breathe deeply, drink water/juice and do some exercise if you can.....take a walk around the house, lift some weights, do some stretches, write in your blog!!! Remind yourself of why you quit!!!! One day at a time....you know it will get easier as time passes!

[Jordan7]

Can't tell you how many times I decided at work that I would definitely stop at the gas station on the way home, then as soon as I hit the road started to turn in to the nearest station,  but never completed the turn.  I know you're not going -- it's the middle of the night!  Hide under the covers until it passes, and know that you are already "there" and would not have posted if you weren't the boss of this nasty crave. 

Great job MLMR, and we'll mix up a mojo cocktail for you.  

[MLMR]

I wrote down everything  thats repulsive about smoking, everything I could think of for the last 30 mins. 

 

I know it all. And yet... there's moments like this. Well, so be it then. Grmbl. At least Im tired bc of the adrenaline rush. I keep reminding myself that lighting up is the ONLY thing that fvucks up the quit and that this event doesn't have to scare me.

 

Back to basics. Thats right. Even tho I feel I should be way past basics right now. 

 

 

[jillar]

1 minute ago, MLMR said:

 

Back to basics. Thats right. Even tho I feel I should be way past basics right now.

 

We can't undo years of smoking in a matter of months MLMR. Believe it or not, you are right where you should be this far into your quit. That's why we have the one year commitment. It's to help us past most of the triggers that happen over the course of the year. 

My whole first year was pretty hard so trust me when I say that you are doing great. Keep NOPING and keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there too

[notsmokinjo]

Definitely don't be scared by this event...nothing to be scared about, lots of reasons to celebrate... look at all the positives... you did not smoke, you beat the crave, you used the tools you have learnt, you did an SOS and people came to your aid, YOU DID NOT SMOKE... and you blew the sh1t out of that crave... you addiction learnt MLMR is one tough sheila, and she is not weak in the middle of the night when she can't sleep... so don't bother with that attack again, she is too wise for that.

[Boo]

1 hour ago, MLMR said:

Back to basics. Thats right. Even tho I feel I should be way past basics right now. 

 

Why?

 

My quit is going on three-years now and I still stick to the basics everyday.  

 

Don't smoke and your quit is good.  It's basic, simple, and 100% effective.

[MLMR]

4 hours ago, Boo said:

Why?

 

Yeah, why. I don't know. I hate that craves are still there, despite education and just letting time pass. I hate that I still have to work for it, next to all the work I have to do to cope with general moodswings and brain that tends to think in extremes. I hate this sounds like a pity party. Where is that turning point every body keeps talking about? Sure, I have easy moments/days by now and yes, reading back I realise I'm making progress. When I started 107 days I made a deal with myself, not the hard way. Steady and forward, but not harsh. And where am I at now? Beating myself up on the inside for sos-ing and hardly able to talk in a gentle way to myself. 

 

I really do believe all of this also makes the quit stronger. But dang, there has to be a kinder way? 

 

Thanks  a lot for all of your answers. They mean much to me, though I sound grumpy and through with it.

 

Edited December 7, 2018 by MLMR

[Tammy]

Glad you stuck it out...shows that you are committed regardless of the extenuating circumstances.

KTQ...it will get easier.

[Doreensfree]

Sorry I'm late .....

ML....I'm so happy you have kept your fabulous quit...

Look at all the positives...not the negatives......

You are achieving ,what deep down every smoker on the planet wants...whether they admit it or not ....

It doesn't matter how long it takes.....do you know the story about the turtle that wins the race....steady does it ...

The magic WILL happen ...but we are all different ....

Except you are where you you supposed to be ....be kind to yourself ....

 

[bakon]

NOPE

 

middle of the night and this is bothering you...go look at porn....

[Sazerac]

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

and you win again !

Reward yourself for this one especially,

you are a hero.

[Reciprocity]

Yeah - nothing unusual going on here MLMR. All normal and everyone's timing of events, cravings etc. is different anyway but they all reduce and virtually disappear over time providing you just don't smoke. That's the important bit - NOPE!

[Mee]

ML, you are a little behind me in the quit.  I have actually been craving so much more lately.  Could it be the season, heaven knows all the crazies are out this time of year.  That requires patience.  I have a wedding celebration this weekend and all of a sudden my outfit is tight around the waist.  In the process of shopping for something to hold the gut in, I almost pulled into where I used to buy my smokes.  I can blame all these inconveniences on quitting smoking but at the end of the day, it is the goal that needs to be stuck to.  

I have admired you through your journey.  You have perfectly described so many of those emotions we experience while quitting.  You and I can do this.  Stay focused and strong.  We can only be winners in the end.

[NADA]

MLMR

 

When all other avenues have been exhausted, cuss out your craving.  Many a time, night and day, I would yell at my craving:

 

F#%& you, you piece of  craving!!!!!!  I'm stronger than you and I'm damned well worth living a free and healthier life!!!!!  I will whoop your ass!!!!!!

[Boo]

12 hours ago, MLMR said:

I really do believe all of this also makes the quit stronger. But dang, there has to be a kinder way? 

 

There is a kinder, gentler way to proceed with the process: stop beating yourself up.

 

You craved a cigarette...that's addiction for ya.

 

You stated you felt guilty about putting out an S.O.S...that's exactly what this section is for.

 

You wanted to smoke but didn't...that's how long-term quits are built.

 

You are a non-smoker now.  Congratulate yourself on that and don't let yourself be bothered by any kind of arbitrary timeline.  Stay the course and I guarantee you will get there.

[johnny5]

Great job keeping the quit, MLMR.  Yeah,  times like this really suck but you have to fight through them.  Things do get better with time.

[Christa326]

You got this!!! It WILL pass!!! I remember my first quit being the same, could NOT stop thinking about it.,,wanting to hit up the corner store. actually getting a little excited that i may just say screw it and do it. but NOPE it will pass. Good job on coming here. That shows you DONT want to smoke!! 

[Wantsit]

OK MLMR...you are exactly 3 months ahead of me and I need you to stay strong for the both of us!  I am trying follow you through this so stay cool. You can do it..I remember driving by the last Quick Shop on the outside of town every night on my 30 minute drive home from work thinking....keep going do not stop! You know what? I didn't and that was the best thing I did for 2 weeks! Just keep the faith, I'm finding it's already easier than I possibly thought it would ever be, but I guess I'm lucky. I have to stop because I know if I don't... I loose. Call it what ever you want , but I feel it. I can finally breathe again , and if I start again I am afraid I wont be able to stop. Stay strong and I bet you it pays off big time!