Relapse help

[Sparky]

Hello - I read through some of the posts about relapsing, but figured to post a new message.

 

In October, I relapsed with cigarettes. I quit cigarettes in March 2015 after smoking regularly (1 1/2 packs a day) for 19 years. During a very stressful week then (including the synagogue shooting massacre here in Pittsburgh), I bought a pack, and have been smoking since.

 

It's weird. And idiotic. I can't figure out the triggers. I smoke only at home. I don't think about smoking during work, in the car, working out, socializing. Just at home. And I'm back to the same terrible habit of sneaking outside for a smoke (a few a day), including the wake-up cig, post-work cig, etc.

 

I'm furious with myself. I worked so hard to get nicotine-free, and find myself smoking really for no reason. I' need help to stop it.

 

If anyone has any advice or experienced something similar, let me know. (When I prepped for my qui in 2015, I was on quitsmokingmessageboard.com, and found invaluable support there. That website seems to be gone now.)

 

 

Edited December 3, 2018 by Sparky

[Rozuki]

Hi Sparky - yes, QSMB is gone! I was a member there and managed to educate myself about my addiction and keep my quit solid while there....once that site was no more, I came here along with several others and it is has been so helpful in maintaining my quit (also a lot of laughs along the way!).

 

There are always going to be life events that are stressful, depressing, etc. but why feel you have to go back to smoking to get past them? I am sure that first cigarette you smoked after a couple of years smoke free was awful, wasn't it? What did it do for you? Watch some of Joel's videos, read through members blogs and posts and start NOPING every day! You have done it before, you can do it again!

 

 

[Martian5]

Sparky, welcome aboard for this journey.  Others will come by soon that will have good advice on relapsing.  I would suggest that you look thru all the educational material here on the sight and I am sure there is a video on this in the video library.  Education is all powerful.  You must understand that smoking does not solve anything and can only make things work.  Please go through all this is on this site.  We will be here to support you and hopefully answer questions you might have.  Also QSMB is no longer any several of the members of that site are now here on this site -- you may recognize the names as they come up.  Anyway when you are ready to quit again we are here to support!!!

[jillar]

Hi sparky, welcome to quittrain. You will find the same support here as you did at qsmb. Stay glued here as much as possible for that first year or longer and read anything and everything as it pertains to your quit. Let's get this done  

[johnny5]

Welcome to the board, Sparky.  I'm really sorry to hear about your relapse.  I hope you see that life is better without cigarettes and that you are going to quit again.  It is true what is said here (and at QSMB), take NOPE seriously.  You can never take another puff.  It will awaken the addiction again and you never want to do that.

 

Stick around here.  Read and participate often.  It can help you stay quit for good.  I came from QSMB too and I can tell you that there are a lot of good folks here who want to see you succeed at quitting as well.

[onthemark]

The reason that you are smoking is that you are addicted. All of my failed quit attempts were ultimately down to a lack of education about what it means to be addicted, all the lies that the nicotine addiction feeds you and strategies for getting through the first year. After that it is just a matter on doing the same thing over and over again. I am back posting after more than 3 years because I am having these weird occasional thoughts of 'having just one'... This is the biggest lie of nicotine addiction. But I am sure it will pass, it always does. These urges to smoke always go away and can remain thankfully dormant for a long long time but one has always to be prepared for them to rise again.

[Sparky]

Thanks everyone (and I do recognize some of you from QSMB, like johnny5 - at least your pic!). I'll be on here, and I'm so, so glad I found this forum. 

 

I'm going to plan on a new quit day. I need to re-educate myself on the dormancy of addiction. I know the couple of times since summer when I had that "one" after 3 1/2 years, thinking it's just the "one." And I tricked myself into thinking that it wouldn't do anything in the near future. 

 

I think of all the great things I accomplished post-quitting (bought my first house, found and started a great new job), and how do I get back to that power without cigarettes?

 

[Reciprocity]

Smoking gives you nothing Sparky - only takes away from the best things in your life including life itself in the end.

Jump on the train and ride your way to freedom again! We will be here for support but it's up to you ultimately to make it happen. 

You can do this!

[garry mhudson]

You did it before and you can do it again Sparky. You have not failed as long as you keep honestly trying in your heart. Pick a date and get back here. Good people and lots of support. Best wishes.

[onthemark]

After about 20 failed attempts to quit smoking I finally succeeded on the qsmb in 2015 by educating myself about all the lies that i believed about nicotine and my smoking. It worked and i am not a smoker to this day.

 

Unfortunately a few months after I quit I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I am still here though but would have been glad to have missed that experience in my early 50s after 35 years of smoking.

 

There are also lots of people on this forum who are suffering from smoking related diseases. I quit too late to avoid one of the worst. Be someone who quits early enough to miss the bad outcomes.

[Wantsit]

Sparky,

 

As you can see I am very early into my quit, a month and a day. All I can say is that the people on this site care. I had quit once before but this time is totally different. I want it...like I have never wanted anything. I realize I could fail but I'm not worried about it right now. Is it easy nope but it is easier. I hate cigarettes...the smell , the stigma everything about them. My wife still smokes, and that is something that weighs heavy on my mind. Most people asks if that makes it harder. I can honestly say no now. 

 

I'm not the one that smells like smoke and trying to find a warm place to blow one when we go somewhere. There is no smoking when we are traveling unless we stop and she can get out of the truck. I am not one of those holy rollers...yet... but cannot ...do not... want to be around it. I wish she would at least try again , but she must not be ready. But that aside , listen to these folks because they are the best, and genuinely care. I will stay quit, I feel it this time and hope that you get that same feeling back. 

 

Good luck and like they say..NOPE!

[Boo]

Welcome aboard Sparky.  I don't have much to add as you have already received great advice in this thread.

 

However, I will say just a couple of quick things.  Smokers relapse because we are addicts who conditioned ourselves with cigarettes for years.  Any other "reason" to smoke is merely an excuse.  As has already been mentioned, education is vital to building a solid quit.  Understand your addiction and shed light on the lies we all told ourselves as smokers.

 

A relapse is not something that just happens.  It is a choice.  There is only one choice to make in building a quit: do I smoke or not?  Choose wisely and you will be free from cigarettes for good.

 

Buckle up, knuckle down, and drive on.

[MarylandQuitter]

9 hours ago, Sparky said:

Hello - I read through some of the posts about relapsing, but figured to post a new message.

 

In October, I relapsed with cigarettes. I quit cigarettes in March 2015 after smoking regularly (1 1/2 packs a day) for 19 years. During a very stressful week then (including the synagogue shooting massacre here in Pittsburgh), I bought a pack, and have been smoking since.

 

It's weird. And idiotic. I can't figure out the triggers. I smoke only at home. I don't think about smoking during work, in the car, working out, socializing. Just at home. And I'm back to the same terrible habit of sneaking outside for a smoke (a few a day), including the wake-up cig, post-work cig, etc.

 

I'm furious with myself. I worked so hard to get nicotine-free, and find myself smoking really for no reason. I' need help to stop it.

 

If anyone has any advice or experienced something similar, let me know. (When I prepped for my qui in 2015, I was on quitsmokingmessageboard.com, and found invaluable support there. That website seems to be gone now.)

 

 

 

Welcome to the board, Sparky.

 

It's actually quite simple and not at all unique.  You already figured out the trigger which was a stressful week.  There are no triggers which cause you to smoke.  Triggers only cause a crave but smoking is a choice; a choice which you likely had been entertaining before you took that first puff to relapse.  There are no triggers to smoke NOW because your addiction is back in full-force, regardless of how many cigarettes you're smoking on any given day.  In other words, you're smoking because you're being chased by the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.  You're not smoking for no reason and instead, your smoking because you're addicted to nicotine.  Plain and simple.  That's why you smoke.  That's why you chose to pick up smoking again after not smoking for over 3 years.  We will always be nicotine addicts.  Always.  This is why it's imperative to to never, ever take another puff OR put nicotine by any means into your body.

 

Don't waste anymore of your time trying to figure out why you only smoke at home and why you don't think about smoking while away from home.  Just quit smoking.  You don't need to figure out a quit date as you're only giving yourself permission to keep smoking - you're rationalizing smoking until you quit when what you should do is stop smoking this instant and start working on recovery and let your body start purging itself of the toxins so it can work on repairing damage.

 

This group can help you along but first, you have to make a firm choice to stop smoking and accept the fact that your can't ever smoke again because if you do, you may find yourself 10 years from now, still smoking with a new host of problems - problems much more serious than simply wondering why you only smoke at home. 

 

[Doreensfree]

Welcome aboard Sparky...

Sorry to hear you you smoked ....once a addict always a addict...

There is alot of information here to help you quit again.....Watch all joels Video,s....

Smoking doesn't change ,solve,fix ,anything ....

Take smoking Off the Table ...you can do it ....you Will receive all the support you need here....

Looking forward to getting to know you better ...

[notsmokinjo]

Right... first, don't be an idiot like me and wait well over a decade to quit again. Strike now... because the longer you leave it the harder it is.

 

One day at time. You only have to quit for a day. That's not too hard, just one day.

 

 

[Mee]

Hi Sparky.  Welcome aboard again.  I am in the early stages of quitting but find it helps when I can help and encourage others.  That was a terrible incident in Pittsburgh that took lives.  Why let that sick person take any more lives, including yours.  You did this before and can do it again.  

Get your new quit going and we will be right there with you.  

[Sazerac]

Hello Sparky,

You will have a successful quit

when you understand your nicotine addiction and commit to Not One Puff EVER.

Relapse is a choice, a dangerous and regrettable choice.

Better to choose Life and Freedom.

I am glad you are here.

S

 

[Paul723]

Quit now!  Jump!  

[notsmokinjo]

OK... so I remembered what I wanted to say... so that 3 1/2 year quit you had... that's gone now... don't dwell on it... you need to move forward... this is your new quit... its a new day, a new beginning, you move forward always, don't even bother looking back on what you had... remember the lessons you learnt but don't dwell in the past...

[Cbdave]

G’day Sparkey 

I have a 3 year quit. I front up every morning and make that simple acknowledgement. Not One Puff Ever. NOPE.

I started on the QSMB just before going to wedding and worrying about relasping with old friends and all. That was feb 2016, missed an occasional day since then.

Well every days diferent. Births and weddings, deaths, parties, Xmas, cancer, birthdays, which job will I take? New truck, and they are just some of the more exciting. 

I personally like the normal ones, fully of perfectly uneventful stuff.... still

they start with a NOPE.

I invite you to start fronting up and taking the NOPE pledge. It’s corny it’s public. 

Confessing to being an Addict that will never be able to take another puff, might be daughting. But it’s truely painless and quick and you get to spend the rest of your day enjoying heaps of other shit that doesnt involve smoking! 

Chris

 

 

  

[Sparky]

Thanks everyone for the support and for sharing your experiences!

 

The last time I bought a pack, the other day, another customer in line at the convenience store looked me up and down when I ordered a pack and asked me "Why are YOU a smoker??" A complete stranger. I told him, "Because I'm an idiot." I do believe it's one of many, many signs recently that I need to regain control, make a choice, and stop.
 

This is ending. 

[jillar]

9 minutes ago, Sparky said:

This is ending. 

 

When?

[Sparky]

Just now, jillar said:

 

When?

 

Tomorrow at 8 pm. (I know some disagree with picking a specific date/time)

[jillar]

Looking forward to seeing your new quit date. May I suggest getting yourself a ticker for your signature so you can watch all the time, money and cigarettes not smoked add up? I loved watching mine

[bakon]

1 hour ago, Sparky said:

 

Tomorrow at 8 pm. (I know some disagree with picking a specific date/time)

Ok.....if not now....smoke away window licker....smoke enough to give you a headache...eat one.  Seriously chew one up and let it torment your belly....rub ashes on your face like a warrior....make it the worst experience you can have so you truly enjoy quiting....tomorrow wash up and drink juice....but quit at 8am.  Nobody wants to smell your stench  and breath another day.