One Question

[Boo]

Did I smoke today?

 

It is the one and only question that matters when quitting.  I've seen some recent posts in which people call themselves "bad quitters" because they craved and/or romanced the cigarette during their quit.  There is no such thing as a "bad quitter."  There are only successful quitters and smokers.

 

If you craved a cigarette but didn't smoke, you are a successful quitter.  If it took you a while to rewire your brain about the realities of cigarettes but you didn't smoke, you are a successful quitter.

 

Smoking is an addiction.  Cigarettes are something we conditioned ourselves with for years.  Quitting is a process.

 

If the process was a bit more difficult for you than others.  If it took you a little while longer to turn the corner than others.  If you really, really, really wanted to smoke a cigarette.  If you were grouchy, bordering on homicidal, during parts of your quit...If any of these conditions applied and you stayed true to your commitment and did not smoke, congratulations.  Your quit is every bit as much of a successful quit as anyone else's.

 

To smoke or not to smoke...it is the only question that matters when quitting.

[Reciprocity]

That's right! We all face some sort of challenges when we start our quit but no matter what happens along our own individual paths, as long as we didn't smoke during those challenges, we are winners - non-smokers - quitters and, proud of it  

[Sazerac]

Thanks, Boo, for a great, thoughtful post.

I was pretty hard on myself during the first year of my quit,

'free-ing my head' was arduous at times, long and weary times.

 

I knew I would give it a year but, sometimes the slog made me feel crazy, a self-induced sado-masochistic crazy.

My addict's voice would wheedle, 'why are you punishing yourself ?'

It took a lot of education to extricate the truth from my addled, addicted brain.

 

Sometimes, with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I think that I should have/could have made it easier on myself

and maybe some of that is true

but, the point is, I built myself a rock solid quit and that is all that matters.

 

I don't Smoke. I won't Smoke.

NOPE-ly yours,

S

[Martian5]

Boo well said, thank you for posting this.  You made the process of quitting "real" and we all need to realize is that if we make it through each day no matter the challenges that we are indeed successful in are quits and that we must focus on this!!!

[Mee]

9 minutes ago, Sazerac said:

I knew I would give it a year but, sometimes the slog made me feel crazy, a self-induced sado-masochistic crazy.

 

2 hours ago, Boo said:

If you were grouchy, bordering on homicidal, during parts of your quit.

Oh this is me right now.  Sometimes I wonder who that person is.  I can be pretty ornery some days but then I cut myself some slack.  I kind of look at that meanness as a way to turbo charge me through the crave.  At the end of the day I did not smoke and that is what counts.  

[WeegieWoman]

I was just thinking people are obviously grouchy, homicidal, weary, crazy, ornery whether quitting or not. Do you think the quit exaberates who we just are as people? Or are these new emotions to you guys?

 

I was never OTT emotional in my quit and I wasnt an OTT emotional person before my quit either. I'm a positive and confident person. And I felt more positive and more confident during my quit and thereafter. 

 

I do now though, have a very short temper in my car and can be seen giving the Vicky out the window most days haha I think before I was too busy smoking to notices all the assholes on the road! 

[Reciprocity]

You may be right Weegie!

I'm pretty grumpy and a bit of a closet A-hole normally so the added anxiety of quitting probably heightened those traits my wife married me for 

I was pretty quick to get frustrated and angry for probably the first 4-5 months of my quit. It was the longest lasting symptom for me personally.

Edited November 30, 2018 by reciprocity

[Doreensfree]

I'm a very laid back person....no line in the sand....

I did go angry for a short time ,at the very beginning..... I soon went back to my old self....

[Sazerac]

Others in my realm may disagree, but I am not a natural psycho.

Eccentric,  maybe...unconventional, for sure...creative, happy, supportive and positive are closer to my modus operandi.

 

I felt psycho because all I could think about was the issue of smoking.

 

I wasn't going to smoke but, addiction thoughts/actions

and the addict's voice in my head 

took a long time and effort to clear.

 

The body memories took their time too

but, considering I  smoked for 40 some odd years, smoking everywhere/anywhere/all the time/doing anything/everything

one year of work wasn't too long or arduous  to attain my freedom.

 

In fact, I got off light. I'm pretty healthy.  I can breath.

 

So, my cray was directly associated with addressing my  nicotine addiction

and disappeared when I had reclaimed most of the receptors in my brain,

freeing my dosage of dopamine from the association with nicotine.

 

 

 

[Boo]

2 hours ago, WeegieWoman said:

I was just thinking people are obviously grouchy, homicidal, weary, crazy, ornery whether quitting or not. Do you think the quit exaberates who we just are as people? Or are these new emotions to you guys?

 

I was grouchy during the early days of my quit.

 

Of course, to be fair, I wasn't exactly Pollyanna before I quit.

 

And I'm still annoyed by a lot of the stupid shit that goes on around me.

 

So yes, grouchy is kind of a default setting for me.  However, I'm a smokefree grouch with much more energy to piss and moan about things that annoy me now.

[notsmokinjo]

I think maybe the first week or so I was a bit more agro than normal... it was like I forgot how to count to 10... so my temper was on a hair trigger.... and even after the initial few weeks it was still a case of watch it when I lost it cos I would just go mental... but I know I have a tendency to that anyway... i did feel like I had less control over it.

 

so back to Boo's initial centiment....

 

waking up in the morning I promise myself: I will not smoke today.

going to bed at night I acknowledge: Today was a success, I did not smoke.

[WeegieWoman]

When it all comes down to it,I'm glad I'm not an asshole

[jillar]

I'm an asshole

[Mee]

8 minutes ago, jillar said:

I'm an asshole

That can't be possible.  Why would your hubby call you so much.  He loves to talk to his sweetie!

[Wantsit]

LOL!! I'm an asshole as well! But you ladies make me laugh so it's all good!

[jillar]

35 minutes ago, Linda Thomas said:

That can't be possible.  Why would your hubby call you so much.  He loves to talk to his sweetie!

 

He loves to bug his sweetie and he was bored and drinking lol. I had to finally be a bigger asshole for him to stop calling

[Jordan7]

1 hour ago, jillar said:

I'm an asshole

 

35 minutes ago, Wantsit said:

LOL!! I'm an asshole as well! But you ladies make me laugh so it's all good!

 

Is this the asshole check-in page?  If so, present!

[Reciprocity]

Hey now; I'm the original asshole  

[sgt.barney]

 

On 11/30/2018 at 10:47 PM, reciprocity said:

Hey now; I'm the original asshole  

 

O rly?

ezpz

 

[Kdad]

New insight... I am an asshole.

[Doreensfree]

Lol.!!!!

[notsmokinjo]

 

[JB 883]

Boo is right. All that really matters is if you actually lit up or not.

 

Some people have this weird philosophy like just thinking of doing something is the same as doing it (like you have already sinned in your heart).

 

Well if THAT is the case then here is my confession - I have been smoking five packs a day since Oct 6 2017. No, I didn't smoke smoke but I did so in my heart.

Not like through a vulva or vestibule in my throat but just imagining smoking. What is that hole in the throat called that some smokers get so they can smoke two cigarettes at once?

 

But if "just thinking of doing something" is the same as doing it, I have also been going to the gym, cleaning up my diet, working overtime, volunteering at the soup kitchen...

[Boo]

38 minutes ago, Jet Black said:

But if "just thinking of doing something" is the same as doing it, I have also been going to the gym, cleaning up my diet, working overtime, volunteering at the soup kitchen...

 

Smoking thoughts.  Craving thoughts.  Romanticizing thoughts....

 

They are all just thoughts.  They have as much or as little power as you give them.

 

Fighting a random thought or beating yourself up for having said thought are both complete wastes of time and energy.

[notsmokinjo]

bump.... cos while it got a bit silly the original post was pretty brilliant.... and we have some newbies here who need a reminder... thinking about smoking and actually smoking are two different things... it doesn't matter how often you think about smoking as long as you just don't smoke you have been successful regardless of the conscious or sub-conscious thoughts.