I think I'll leave for a while

[Evelyn]

I smoked yesterday. again. I do not want to demotivate others. To be honest I had a small crisis which is solved now but that's no excuse. I think I'll leave for a while first quitting then coming back. I start today again. Don't start lecture me about motivation and stuff there's more behind it. I feel crap enough that got in crisis and smoked and I'm glad I'm out of it so if you want me to stay don't start with lecturing me. That only drives me away. I did the best I could.... And I will do the best I can today

[queen greenlover]

Please stay.....I think staying & letting us "hold your hand" might be what you need to stay smoke free. Yes do what you feel works for you but think about hanging around ok?? Support cam be a life-saver.

[Evelyn]

I'll think about it :)

 

Today, so far so good.

[sharonsiff]

I hope you stay Evelyn.

 

The thing is your not quitting quitting and that in itself could be a reason to stay. One of these times you will...xx

[Evelyn]

I'll stay :)

[action]

Don't give up Evelyn. I think you have more chance of staying quit if you stay.... So I think you should stay!! Please don't make any rash decisions!!

[Colleen]

Evelyn sorry about your crisis.  One of these days, you are going to find a quit that sticks, maybe even this one.  It can be easier if you let us help you, even if it's only coming here for distractions.  I hope you don't think because you have quit a lot since you've joined that you are a bother.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  If there is anything individually or collectively as a group we can do to help each other quit and stay quit, then that's what we are here for.  Something I like about you Evelyn, is that you never give up.   

[Evelyn]

Thank you so much for your support Colleen, I do feel like bothering you.

[Doreensfree]

I agree. Never give up everlyn.....this one j will be your sticky.....

[...]

Evelyn, I'm not sure what your looking for here.

 

You tell us not to "lecture" you but then you don't come to us when you are fixing to smoke. You don't want us "lecturing" you but you don't seem to want us to help you either. You just want to do whatever it is you want, which doesn't seem to include quitting, and then after the fact, have us tell you "oh Evelyn, it's all okay.".

 

It's NOT okay. Your playing with fire here. I have been where you are. Relapse after relapse. Stop. Your making this so much harder on yourself and one day......you might give up on quitting. So quit now. And actually DO whatever it takes to get that accomplished.

[Rain Forest]

Evelyn, I'm not sure what your looking for here.

 

You tell us not to "lecture" you but then you don't come to us when you are fixing to smoke. You don't want us "lecturing" you but you don't seem to want us to help you either. You just want to do whatever it is you want, which doesn't seem to include quitting, and then after the fact, have us tell you "oh Evelyn, it's all okay.".

 

It's NOT okay. Your playing with fire here. I have been where you are. Relapse after relapse. Stop. Your making this so much harder on yourself and one day......you might give up on quitting. So quit now. And actually DO whatever it takes to get that accomplished.

 

Evelyn, this is the place for you to be if you are serious about quitting smoking... my question would be: how serious are you?

 

I have to agree with Tiffany because we can only help you if you want the help... saying "it's ok" when you relapse and holding your hand, that's not how I see helping someone to quit smoking.  I really hope you get it figured out: you have to do the work, but we are here to support and help you thru the tough times, but only if you let us.  I don't think you're wrote down 3 reasons why you want to be a non-smoker, so maybe you should print out what Tiffany just said and keep that with you, it would certainly motivate me to keep my quit because is speaks loudly of truth!

 

Rain :)

[Evelyn]

Rain and Tiffany you are right i need to be straight with myself. DO I WANT TO QUIT?

 

YES!

 

It was not okay to smoke and i need to let you guys help me...

[sgt.barney]

I did the best I could...

 

Ummm...

 

No.

 

You didn't

 

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Evelyn]

Ummm...

 

No.

 

You didn't

 

 

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

 

Easy to judge when you dunno the whole story

[...]

Easy to judge when you dunno the whole story

 

Evelyn, quit kidding yourself.  He DOES know the whole story.  We all do. 

 

No matter what excuse you come up with to smoke, one of us has said it before.  Pretty soon though, your gonna run out of excuses.  And that will be the time that you will have to face yourself....... do you really want to quit or not ?

 

Until then, the story is always the same......... it's up to you whether your going to deal with it with a cigarette in your mouth or not.

 

Make smoking not an option anymore and you will have the battle beat. 

[sgt.barney]

Easy to judge when you dunno the whole story

 

"Judge - and prepare to be judged ... " [1]  -- Ayn Rand

 

It's easy to lie and say you did your best ... when you didn't.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

 

P.S. - the "whole story" is this:  You smoked.

          That's it. 

          The whole she-bang.

 

 

FOOTNOTE:

[1] Because there's actually, y'know, accountability that way.

[Evelyn]

Not helping. And no you don't have a clue what I went trough. Now stop judging me I'm back on track and I'm glad I am.

 

Enough ok or I'll really leave

[sgt.barney]

Not helping.

 

Don't care - what you are doing obviously isn't helping either.

 

And no you don't have a clue what I went trough.

 

Don't care - doesn't matter what you went through. You smoked.

 

You Smoked.

 

Get it?

 

Now stop judging me

 

No thanks.

 

The Sarge will judge.

 

Who he likes.

 

When he likes.

 

He will judge.

 

Request denied.

 

I'm back on track and I'm glad I am.

 

How many times has that lie passed your lips in the last month?

 

Enough ok or I'll really leave

 

Then leave.

 

You're not accomplishing your mission here  anyway.

 

What are you gonna threaten us with your absense?

(that's almost funny)

 

Like that means anything to anyone's quit but yours?

 

 

 

Do you want to quit or not?

 

Do you want to quit or not?

 

 

 

It appears to The Sarge: Not.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[...]

Evelyn,

 

I doubt very seriously you will get the Sarge to feel responsible for your quit or lack thereof.  It's not his to own.  It's yours.

 

If you choose to go because we care enough not to let you throw out excuses at us, then please come back when your really ready to make this committment. 

 

Your not doing anything anyone of us haven't done in the past. That's why we can see it.  And we care enough about you to want you to see it. 

 

There is a good friend of mine that summarizes it like this..... YOU ------> YOUR QUIT --------> YOUR LIFE. 

 

Your quit is separate from anything in your life.  And it takes precedence over anything and everything in your life. 

 

I hope that you don't get so angry that you quit listening.  I want you to hear this.  I hope and pray that you hear this.  We all want you to succeed...... even the Sarge.

[ChristaC]

Evelyn,

 

I doubt very seriously you will get the Sarge to feel responsible for your quit or lack thereof.  It's not his to own.  It's yours.

 

If you choose to go because we care enough not to let you throw out excuses at us, then please come back when your really ready to make this committment. 

 

Your not doing anything anyone of us haven't done in the past. That's why we can see it.  And we care enough about you to want you to see it. 

 

There is a good friend of mine that summarizes it like this..... YOU ------> YOUR QUIT --------> YOUR LIFE. 

 

Your quit is separate from anything in your life.  And it takes precedence over anything and everything in your life. 

 

I hope that you don't get so angry that you quit listening.  I want you to hear this.  I hope and pray that you hear this.  We all want you to succeed...... even the Sarge.

 

Well said, Tiffany! That's exactly what it comes down to... WE are responsible for our quits, and no one else. The board support has helped me tremendously in the early days of my quit, and I'm not sure I would've been able to hang on without it... but still... I'm the one who quit. I'm the one who did it. With lots of help. :-)

[...]

Well said, Tiffany! That's exactly what it comes down to... WE are responsible for our quits, and no one else. The board support has helped me tremendously in the early days of my quit, and I'm not sure I would've been able to hang on without it... but still... I'm the one who quit. I'm the one who did it. With lots of help. :-)

Me too !!!  And it's taken alot of tries, alot of learning and alot of listening.  And I even had to leave for a while..... to figure out if this is something I really wanted.  And I learned if you never give up, then one day, you are guaranteed to win. 

 

I'm winning. 

[sharonsiff]

Evelyn, I have no doubt that the messages have set your emotions on red alert....I hope I'm wrong of course.

 

If I'm right though...don't go...you're right no-one understands what's going on in your head, or anyones head for that matter. The thing is you can do this you know Evelyn, I suspect you think you can't? You can though, you really can. Might it be an idea to check in with the doctor in the sense of a stop smoking appointment? Get some professional support and post on here how it's going?

 

Choice is yours, as ever, but if you were my daughter I would direct you down that route to assist your quit. As they know what medication you are on and how best to assist in supporting you.

[ChristaC]

Me too !!!  And it's taken alot of tries, alot of learning and alot of listening.  And I even had to leave for a while..... to figure out if this is something I really wanted.  And I learned if you never give up, then one day, you are guaranteed to win. 

 

I'm winning. 

 

I remember your struggles well, tiff...

 

But here you are. Eureka! You did it, and I'm tremendously proud of you!

[Soberjulie]

This board isn't for people who need it....it's for people who want it.

Evelyn, we aren't selling anything here.

If you are looking for folks to sell you on the idea of quitting....you may find yourself in the boat you are currently in: the cycle of relapse, convinced you are unique and your situation is different and an unwillingness to listen.

Your bottom can come when it's dire and terribly painful.....or your bottom can come when you put the shovel down.

[BonnieJ]

I get it Evelyn, the style that some folks use to communicate can really rub some people the wrong way.

 

But they all know what they are talking about. We have all been there. Do we all have the same life problems? Of course not. But just because we have different struggles does not mean we don't understand. We all have had to conquer Stress,pain,loss,and every other emotion and we have done it without smoking.

 

Early in my quit my 16 year old cat died. Did I want to smoke? Of course I did. Was I stressed,sad,lonely,hurt,devastated and many other emotions? Yes. Did I smoke? No.

 

If I had smoked The people who are saying things you don't like would have said the same thing to me. There will always be a reason to make you want to smoke.

 

We all thought we were more addicted than the others around us who managed to quit. We all thought we had more stress than the next guy to overcome. We were wrong and now we know it. Hopefully one day you will too.

 

No matter what you are going to have to learn to deal with stress and emotion without smoking. We all have struggles and pain just because they are not the same as yours does not mean we don't get it. We get it Evelyn. We also get what freedom feels like and we all want you to join us. Freedom rocks!

 

As always we want the best for you.