The holidays

[Mee]

We are heading into that time of year and, even though I feel confident in my quit, I am a little fearful of the holidays.  They use to be such a great joy and spiritual fulfillment for me but over the last couple of years I have come to dread them.   My emphasis was always on having that loving memory that was going to be left behind.  What always occurred was more like one of those comedies you see at the movies.  I always got through by sneaking upstairs to the bathroom and having my smoke out the window.  

Every year I start fresh with that hope and end with such disappointment.  I know you will all tell me to go away for the holidays but I can't.  I know my grand kids look forward to Grandma's homemade sticky buns and my son is single and does not have a family besides us.  This might be the last year with my dad.  His health is declining.   

No one has the perfect get together and I am sure that even though things do not go as planned, we will probably still look back and find something good about them.  

I know the longer I stay quit, the more powerful I become.  Maybe my fear this year is that I may be too outspoken for everyone.  I might just finally not put up with some peoples sh**t.

Whatever, I just wanted to get this out there as we head into the holidays.  You are all so great at redirecting my thoughts and helping me through.

.   

[c9jane29]

The holidays will be so much better without missed moments for smoking!!(and all the stress of thinking you could hide it)

You might need family around more than you think as you just experienced a close loss.

I know your parents make you nuts, so take your breaks still...make an excuse to go out to the garage and scream into a pillow...go out in the yard and see if you can find a good stick 

Enjoy EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT. with those grandkids and don't let anyone stop you from giving them all the love and attention they deserve. I'm a little sad I will miss out on the sticky buns. (your husband enjoys them the most, I bet)

Get sassy if you have to...sometimes people get used to walking all over us and won't stop until we stand up for ourselves. My mother in law is like that with her daughters and expected she could give me the same treatment when I married her son, but I set boundries real quick. Now, she doesn't "tell me" to do anything; she asks politely when she talks to me  

The holidays are just another part of the quit...the things we have to learn to do as a non-smoker and we will do it together! 

Edited November 15, 2018 by c9jane29

[Doreensfree]

Sweetheart ,

With all the hype that leads up to Xmas....it easy to sit and reflect when things are not as perfect as we would like .....and wish some area,s in our life were different ...I'm with you on this .

I have learnt over the years ,to just except things ...and it's only a short time ...

Sometimes thinking about a situation makes our brains go in overload.....just stick to NOPE...you are a stronger person now.....one who will speak her mind and I know you will do just fine ..

This is the first Xmas of many smoke free...that something to cheer about ...I'll raise my glass to that....

[brand.new.ela]

Hugs, Linda, I know that holidays isn’t the easiest time and you’ve had tough moments recently. Just be nice to yourself and enjoy what is good. 

[Lilly]

Linda I wish I had some amazing advice but all I can suggest is to just roll with it. 

 

You said "My emphasis was always on having that loving memory that was going to be left behind." Just remember that whatever the adults do you are still building those memories for your grandchildren.

 

You got this

 



[jillar]

Oh Linda, I know from experience that the anxiety leading up to the holidays is much worse than the actual holiday. Many others have said the same. Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised at all the free time you now have to be present in the moment.

Stink free hugs for all, sticky buns (so jealous!). And hey, if you find the need for the new and improved Linda to speak her mind, GO FOR IT! 

And lastly, you always have your family here to come and vent to

[Rozuki]

Linda, repeat after me.....ONE DAY AT A TIME! You do have the power now (you quit smoking!! Nothing more empowering than that, right?) and you will get through the holidays remembering just that! 

[BAT]

The Holidays are much better smoke free  

[Mee]

20 minutes ago, Rozuki said:

Linda, repeat after me.....ONE DAY AT A TIME! You do have the power now (you quit smoking!! Nothing more empowering than that, right?) and you will get through the holidays remembering just that! 

I gotcha!  ONE DAY AT A TIME.  I'm just not used to this version of me yet.  I know I will get through, especially with the help of my friends! 

[Sazerac]

Ahhhh.....the horror daze/holidays

Expectations are on overload.

When you want to escape, escape and breathe clean cool air.  Slow down your breathing.

Remember HALT.  Feed yourself.  Rest well.  Let your feelings be feelings, give them attention. 

 

Enjoy your grandkids.

Tell people you love that you love them.

Eat too many sticky buns.

Warm up your husband's bum.

Play with your canines.

Remove yourself from uncomfortable situations,  the door is always open.

Stand up straight, tits first, chin up.

Un-clench your fists, lol.

Use your power.

Communicate your perimeters.

Have FUN.

You don't smoke anymore.

 

 

 

Edited November 16, 2018 by Sazerac

[Boo]

On 11/15/2018 at 2:11 PM, Linda Thomas said:

We are heading into that time of year and, even though I feel confident in my quit, I am a little fearful of the holidays.

 

Going through the holidays for the first time without cigarettes may feel weird for a moment.  A fleeting moment that will pass.

 

My personal experience was: those moments that I thought would be difficult never really turned into much.  Perhaps a momentary feeling of something being not quite the same, but nothing to worry about.

 

You've built a rock-solid quit for yourself.  You will be fine.

[jillar]

I just read your check in Linda, what wonderful news that your son will be hosting thanksgiving in his new home You probably won't even have one craving since you've never smoked there! When I bought my new car in 2007 I decided it would never have a cigarette smoked in it. So in my early months if I craved I would jump in my car and take a drive somewhere and the crave would disappear

[Reciprocity]

Sounds like you will have no trouble enjoying your first Smoke-Free holiday season! I would even say that you'll be coming here to tell us what a relief it was not to have to run off every hour or so to feed the beast! You are in for a real treat this year Linda - more time spent with your loved ones and a chance to show off the New You  

[c9jane29]

12 hours ago, jillar said:

just read your check in Linda, what wonderful news that your son will be hosting thanksgiving in his new home 

I thought the same!! How exciting!!

...now wondering if he likes being single and how he feels about "brother husbands"?  

[Mee]

1 hour ago, c9jane29 said:

...now wondering if he likes being single and how he feels about "brother husbands"?  

He likes being single. He is 38.  He had his heart broken years ago.  I also don't think he will find a girl now because he has stinky ferrets as pets. 

He has promised me Thanksgiving will be fun this year.  He says if Grandma gets out of line, he is going to let his stinky rodents loose! 

[JOD]

You can do this!  I quit just 3 weeks before a Thanksgiving holiday, and just 7 weeks before Christmas, and looking back I wouldn't have done it any other way.  The confidence you've earned from being free of your addiction is a treasure, and sharing that joy wtih all of the folks coming to visit will make you feel great.  Enjoy everyone's company and quirks and let them pull whatever S&*& they want - stay enveloped in your happiness in being free

Edited November 23, 2018 by JOD

[Cristóbal]

Be sure to enjoy the benefits of your best holiday gift ever.....your quit !!!

 

Stay focused on being able to smell and taste your holiday food - think of it while enjoying every holiday meal, it will blow away any trigger thoughts that you may have.

 

Be sure to watch Joel´s video about the holidays:

 

 

 

Cristóbal

 

Edited November 24, 2018 by Cristóbal

[jillar]

Hi @Linda Thomas, I was just thinking about you and hoping today went well

[Mee]

11 hours ago, jillar said:

Hi @Linda Thomas, I was just thinking about you and hoping today went well

It went very well.  I actually did not have time for smoky thoughts the day of the event.  I do, however, find myself pretty crabby still, when I am under pressure.  Fortunately, my husband would rather have a crabby nonsmoker and still loves me .

I do think it was a little more work having it at my son's home and I am really tired today.

My son spent all his time building his dining room table, which he finished the night before.  When my son is focused on something, everything else suffers.

Mom spent two days, going over to his house to help him organize and clean for the big event.  He probably will never have  cleaner toilets.

I did find it very hard relinquishing the turkey rights.  I laid in bed worrying about him stuffing the bird properly and it took every ounce of power in me not to get up at 5:00 a.m. and go over to his house to help him stuff it.

Everything turned out great.  Food was wonderful, and everyone behaved themselves.  One holiday down, only one more to go!

I'm attaching a picture of my son's table.  Pretty proud of that kid.  Lighting was not the greatest but I think you can see enough of it.  He now wants to build the chairs to go with it.  My elderly dad is at the corner of the table.  Brother-in-law in the doorway.

 

Edited November 25, 2018 by Linda Thomas

[joe]

Glad to hear you got through the day with no casualties. 

the table looks amazing!

Re-training the brain...

Dont dread these events, instead embrace them and look forward to them as a non-smoker...it's something you need o be proud of...your family and friends are proud of you for it. 

Well done!!

 

[Doreensfree]

Wow !!!!

That is one mighty big table....it's fabulous.....

Well done for enjoying the time ....not really bothered about smoking....our minds are our worst enemies....always over thinking...

You done it...the next one will be a doddle....high five Linda !!!!

[jillar]

Oh I'm so glad to hear that Linda, and what a talented son you have. That table is gorgeous!

[Sazerac]

Oh, Linda,

I am so glad TGvng went well and your worries didn't manifest themselves.

The table is beautiful.

(perfect to cut out fabric on !)

Is Son hosting XMas too ?

 

I hope you are taking time to replenish yourself.

 

 

 

[Lilly]

That table looks amazing

 

So pleased everything went well. You are just doing great with this quitting business now. 

 

And the "stinky" buns?

[Mee]

5 hours ago, Sazerac said:

Oh, Linda,

I am so glad TGvng went well and your worries didn't manifest themselves.

The table is beautiful.

(perfect to cut out fabric on !)

Is Son hosting XMas too ?

 

I hope you are taking time to replenish yourself.

Am definitely taking a lazy day today.

Wanted you to know your orange/cranberry relish was such a hit. I think it topped grandma's sticky buns. 

Yes, my son wants to host Xmas also.  

Maybe this will be our new family tradition.