Doing the cold turkey dance

[Evelyn]

Smoked 10???? today. But I feel a lot more understanding on this board then on the other. It just hurted as hell and I tripped fell HARD and now I am doing this. 

I know many hare hardliners and I agree but on the other board I was often tipped over the edge... by their agressive style. I hurt, I grief and yes junkie thinking too but that doesn't mean beat the hell outta me.

I prayed out loud (I am a Christian) and felt such reassurence that I should do it without patches and sprrays and stuff. 

 

So here I am, and would I just love a hug instead a kick under my butt. Because I am doin this alone. Not many friends, no parents... family abroad. And I ******* hate it I cry over everything because I miss my mom so much. Smoking is an escape I realise that - breaking the chain of DEATH NOW!

 

[El Bandito]

Hey Evelyn

 

You have a friend in me. 

 

Big Hugs.

 

You are not alone.

[Evelyn]

Thanks man :) means a lot to me

[Frezflops]

Evelyn it is ok to cry let it out it can be freeing...........you know what you need to do and why it is important I am not going to lecture you there.......but keep it going and keep your quit maybe dedicate your quit in honor of your mom if that helps, know that even though I dont know you or your mom she would have been proud of your quit of your strength that you dont realize you have (but you have it) You can make it I have faith in you.......I know you want it I see it in your posts....vent here all you want that is what it is for .....just remember deep breathes, drink lots of water, you will be emotional expect that and know that that will pass, the first week isnt called hell week for nothing and heck week is just a tad better. It does get better I know we all say that but it does. I have lost all three parents (not to smoking other diseases) My real mom died when I was 2 of mylogenous luekemia at 41, my step-mom died of a heart attack at 69, and my dad died at 75 of prostate cancer and non-hodgkins lymphoma. I understand losing a parent is hard, difficult even but know that they would want you to live your life to the fullest and the best way you can. You can do this hun {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

[BonnieJ]

Oh shutting up that junkie is so tricky. 

 

I think it would be helpful to go back to the beginning and READ,READ,READ, and READ some more.

 

For me education is what helped me ignore the junkie in my head.

 

You can do it Evelyn!

[Evelyn]

Yeah it is Bonnie like shutting ME up but it's junkiethinking

[action]

I will give you a hug ((Evelyn)).

 

And know that you are not doing this alone anymore. We will be your friends and we will help you the best that we can.

[Soozie]

Hugs being sent all the way from Australia to you x0x0

[Evelyn]

Thanks my friends

[Still winning]

I want you to succeed, we all want that for you. I say with love that you need to remove all the excuses for yourself, I know them well..they've trapped me many a time too!  The "reasons" why I would accept a slip or relapse, and this time I just said No I deserve more.  Because that's true Evelyn, we all deserve more, to feel free and uncontrolled, you do have to really want it.  I want it for you either way so hugs...go get em!! x

[Trish]

(((Evelyn)))

 

I am so very sorry to hear about your parents.  That must be so difficult!  I also lost my mother to lung cancer and it was devastating.  I know what you mean when you say "and you still smoke?".  I have felt nonsmokers (and even ex smokers) look at me like that so many times.  They think that quitting should be easy for us because we have lost someone due to this nasty addiction but it's not.  That's how strong the addiction is.  I didn't quit when she passed because I was so angry and I actually started smoking more for a LONG time!  It will be 16 years in May since my mom passed and I am just now making a REAL attempt at quitting.  And it's OK to mourn and to cry!  It's good to get it out!!

 

So you relapsed...the important thing is that you jumped right back on the train.  I have relapsed twice in the past seven weeks so I am starting over again too.  But as Scottinpa told me "The only thing worse than to relapse... is to relapse and not start a new quit!!!"   I am determined to make this my sticky quit and I can see that you are too.  I know that you want this!  And you can do it!  Stay close to the board and get the support you need.  We have to want to KTQ more than we want to smoke.  I believe that we do.

 

You have a friend in me, Evelyn.  I believe in you!

[Tink]

I am your friend evelyn and there are many here if not all that would give you a hug when needed

 

((hug)) you can do this you really can - if you can do it now then there is nothing to ever trip you up again - ever

 

the support you need will be here xx

[Doreensfree]

Everlyn ,

You have many friends here.....who all want you to succeed......

Take it slowly,just concentrate on one day....get through that,then do the same the next day....

Don't forget to treat yourself.......even if it's tiny.....

Carnt remember if you have read Allen Carr easy way to stop smoking.....it's a great help.....

Stay close by

Doreen

[MarylandQuitter]

We look out for one another here so you have many people who have your back with this.  I have your back.  Whatever it takes, we'll help you kick this damn addiction the hell out of your life for good.

 

This is your thread.  Come here to vent, bitch, cry, scream and laugh.  If you need an SOS, post it in the SOS board so it's front and center and doesn't get overlooked.

 

For right this moment, know that you can quit and stay quit.  This is a fact.

[Ladybug]

Oh Evelyn I am so very glad you are here!  :)

 

2 months ago I quit cold turkey, I didn't plan it, I just decided to quit smoking..out of the blue, just because I didn't feel well that day. I spend my first day in bed with a cold and haven't smoked every since.

 

I had an easy quit so far and I always wonder why? Why do some suffer so much and my quit just felt like a walk in the park. I had 3 or 4 tough days, but nothing dramatic compared to so many others. So what makes me so special? Nothing! It's a mindset. 

 

I believe you really have to want it. I started to dislike my habit around 2 years ago. I could feel my age, I didn't like the cough and so many other things. It started to bother me more and more and I thought about my future. I told people that I would quit one day. I didn't know how or when, I just knew I would. I although knew I would quit cold turkey, no help from nothing. Mainly because I watched people around me with the patch, the gum and other stuff and they all still smoke. 

 

After 35 years I  put them out.....and will never smoke one again. I am done smoking. There is not a cigarette left that I could want,  I had them all...no reason to miss one!

 

If I can do it................so can you! I wish I could hug you right now, I could use a hug myself!