The good, the bad and the ugly

[RoryPlog]

I'm 9 months 21 days from my last puff. I smoked a pack a day for 34 years.  I did the work. You folks (and QSMB) were my crutch, my parole officer, my defense attorney and my Mom, but I did the work.

 

The Good

 

I haven't smoked. That statement still seems a bit unreal. I haven't smoked 8,251 cigarettes. That's a milestone that blows me away. I don't really crave very often. It doesn't seem like there are very many times when smoking is even part of my life anymore. I also have my first grandbaby and I'm really excited that i won't smoke and stink around her. No coughing anymore. I feel like I really didn't cough that much after I quit.

 

The Bad

 

Occasionally I put myself in familiar situations that have an unfamiliar feel to them. I played a gig in a room where people were smoking both cigarettes and pot (I live in Canada and it's now legal here). Trying to sing was a little rough with smoke in the air, it had been a long time since I played anywhere you could smoke inside.

I'm still not comfortable with all moments (family, work) and occasionally it crosses my mind that I am missing something. Also, at work occasionally my smoke break is interrupted by my not smoking.

I haven't really had much in the way of giant improvements in my health. I think I breath a little easier.

 

The Ugly

 

I have a little blockage in the airways running up my neck. It's uncomfortable sometimes, and pisses me off other times. It makes me mad as it wouldn't be there if I'd have quit one of the many other times I'd tried. 

I think i developed some anxiety since I quit. I'm a little unsure of what it is or how to properly to describe it to a physician. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed that I may have a stroke or heart attack. My balance gets a little funky, and my migraines have continued. I had an odd migraine a day or two ago that as new as I can tell was an ocular migraine. This was new and a little scary but I suppose just part of growing older.

I have moments of balance issues and this is disconcerting. Just seems like for no reason I feel a little like I'm gonna fall. I don't really remember this from before I quit smoking. 

I'm sure that I quit way later than I should have, but I quit. I'm done and thats a win.

 

I keep tabs on all you folks so don't go getting in any trouble.

 

Peace

R

 

[Martian5]

It is good that you posted about the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I to have issues about those 3 points and still wrapping my head around them, but I try to focus on "The Good" -- to me that is important and had I not quit (looks like we chose the same day) I would not have those good things to focus on and after 44 years of smoking that is a blessing.  Continue to march on, you are doing well!!!

[jillar]

Great post Rory and I'm so happy that you have found your forever quit Sorry about the bad and ugly going on with you, I have some of that too and am unsure just how much is smoking related and just plain getting older But the important thing is that by not smoking we have stopped, hopefully, the progression of smoking related problems. Oh and the anxiety? I've seem to have gotten that as well since quitting. Hangovers seem to bring it on so again, not sure if its just getting older or the quit.... Thanks for the update, enjoy that granddaughter of yours  

[Doreensfree]

Thank you  for the great update....you have a great quit...but am sorry Also  to hear of the ugly bits.....

Nice to know your never too far away....

[notsmokinjo]

Hey RoryPlog, thanks for the update. How much easier do you find singing now you don't smoke?

 

With the health things please see the doctor... they have heard people explain things in any number of ways so don't worry about that and not knowing will only be making the anxiety worse.... but for your beautiful grandbaby girl please just pop in for a visit and get everything checked.

 

Don't waste time and energy regretting that you smoked to long... because your smoked, its a fact, we all did, we can't change that fact... we can't go back in time and stop it or quit sooner... so leave it, it is what it is... live in the now and NOW you have QUIT. You are smoke free... that is what is important you can control the now and change the now, same as you can determine what you do in the future... keep your energy for those not what has gone before.

 

So glad your still here and lurking. Lover when you get a chance to post.

[Lust4Life]

Good to hear from you Rory-sorry to read about the blockage. Could it be contributing to the headaches and feeling off balance? Please have a physician keep an eye on it! That would make me anxious as well.    What a wonderful gift you’ve given yourself with your  ever growing quit!  Please keep taking good care of yourself. 

[RoryPlog]

On 10/26/2018 at 9:20 PM, notsmokinjo said:

Hey RoryPlog, thanks for the update. How much easier do you find singing now you don't smoke?

 

 

Actually thats a great question thank you. It's harder and easier if that makes sense. I feel as though I run out of air a little quicker than I used to. Strangely I have had to re-learn some techniques for singing. It seems as though I have more power, and a little more range than I used to. That said, I now how to be a little more conscious of pitch and how much 'volume' I am sending towards a microphone. 

The clarity of my voice is much better even after only 9 months of no smoking. The other good thing is I don't seem to 'blow out' my voice from drinking whiskey and smoking a thousand cigarettes.

I really appreciate you asking this question. It has helped me add another point to the "Good" section of my post. :-)

 

Peace

R 

[Sazerac]

On 10/26/2018 at 3:41 PM, RoryPlog said:

 

I have a little blockage in the airways running up my neck. It's uncomfortable sometimes

I think i developed some anxiety since I quit. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed that I may have a stroke or heart attack.

My balance gets a little funky

I had an odd migraine a day or two ago that as new as I can tell was an ocular migraine. 

I have moments of balance issues and this is disconcerting. Just seems like for no reason I feel a little like I'm gonna fall. 

 

 

 

Rory !  These are all issues you need to discuss with your health professional !

Please take all of these seriously and get yourself an appointment and keep us updated.

We worry, you know.

 

You have built yourself a really fine quit, Rory,

congratulations on your almost 10 months of Freedom.

You are doing tremendous work, for true.

Sing !  Loud and Clear.  You are a hero.

 

 

 

[notsmokinjo]

5 hours ago, RoryPlog said:

It's harder and easier if that makes sense.

 

Makes perfect sense. It sounds like the benefits far out way the technique changes you have made. I worked with musos for 16 years and many smoked. I had heard both arguments that giving up would ruin your voice (which even junky me doubted) or it would improve it. I always thought it would improve, especially range and projection... it was wonderful to hear your personal story and you know what... there will be lurkers out there who will have the misplaced fear that it will be bad for their voice to quit and you just might have given them the final push to get over the quit line, talk about paying it forward.

 

I do agree with Sazerac though, please see a doctor and get a check up... it's probably nothing, just your body clearing out years of smoking but we do worry, even if your not a daily poster, we worry about our fellow travelers.