What Would You Do?

[Reciprocity]

I was at the store today and was standing in line with a customer in front of me at the cashier. She was elderly, I would guess around 65 to 70? It was hard to tell as she was very nicely quaffed and dressed but had a pretty wrinkled face. She started some banter with the clerk ringing through her purchase.

Clerk: Nice to see you again. It's been awhile.

Lady: Yes. I haven't been out much lately because I had a heart attack 2 weeks ago.

Clerk: Oh my, I'm sorry to hear that. It's good that you have recovered enough to get out so soon.

Lady: Yes it is and I think it's because I have cut down my smoking from 2 packs a day to 6 cigarettes a day since my heart attack (this said with obvious pride).

Clerk: Well that's good I suppose but you know, those things can kill you.

Lady: Yes, I know. I watched a dear friend of mine die of COPD recently. It was horrible!

 

With that statement, she picked up her purchase and strolled out of the store.

 

So, I'm standing there listening to all this and I'm sure the look on my face was one of complete shock or disdain or something because as the lady left the store, the clerk greeted me at the counter and asked if I was alright? I just mumbled something at her, paid for my purchase and left the store, still watching the lady slowly crossing the parking lot toward her car. 

 

Even then (outside the store) I wondered to myself ...... should I approach the lady and speak to her about quitting - I mean; really quitting! Clearly she was fooling herself into believing she could "cut down" and avoid any serious sacrifice and that was good enough to allow her health to improve? You know as well as I do that she'll be back to 2 packs a day by Christmas or sooner.

 

So, just wondering what you would have done in this situation? Intervene or just stay out of it because, none of my business and she was a complete stranger to me.

 

I did nothing but go on my way feeling very uncomfortable and sad for the lady because she was clearly fooling herself. I'm not sure I could have confronted a complete stranger in that manner anyway. I don't want to be one of those "reformed smokers" who butts into everyone's lives preaching the no-smoking gospel but, holy cow! This lady needs a reality check if she wants to stick around much longer.

 

[c9jane29]

If our paths actually crossed outside I might have told her(kind of jokingly because that's how I am) something like "Hey, if you really want to quit you have to stop putting them in your mouth" (inset smoking motion) she might laugh so it would open the door to telling her I quit and maybe she would be receptive (or not.)

I'm sure in the hospital LOTS of very important people told her to quit but maybe it would take a stranger caring enough to say so to click for her.

I remember being a smoke and that "I don't give a shixx" attitude so maybe she wouldn't have cared at all, ya know?

 

 

[Reciprocity]

I guess that was it. She seemed to have thought she had the situation under control because she had cut down to 6 cigs a day. Nothing me or anyone else said to her would make a difference probably  

[jillar]

Reci, you know as well as anyone that you can't tell a smoker to quit. If you could I would have quit in my twenties when everyone was telling me to.  

[Whispers]

We all felt that way, that women didn't get scared enough as a lot flat out never touch them things again. If a heart attack wasn't enough for her i doubt anything you would've said would change her mind. You're right tho

Edited October 16, 2018 by Whispers

[jillar]

@reciprocity, my mom got very sick in March and was in ICU not expected to make it. We were very lucky in that she pulled through but the first thing she wanted when she came out of her coma was a cigarette The fact that she almost died had no effect on her to quit smoking  

And in Florida if you tell them, like my sister did, that she's a smoker they put patches on her, even though she was in a coma!!!

[c9jane29]

32 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

She seemed to have thought she had the situation under control because she had cut down to 6 cigs a day.

I'm sure before her next dr. appt she will try (in vain) to cover her stink and tell him she only smokes 2 a day 

11 minutes ago, jillar said:

And in Florida if you tell them, like my sister did, that she's a smoker they put patches on her, even though she was in a coma!!!

That's crazy!! I would have never thought?!

[Reciprocity]

Yeah, it's just really sad to watch people, even those you don't know, systematically destroying themselves one smoke at a time   Worse when it's someone you do know or a loved one!

 

I know we ALL were oblivious to it previously but we ALL figured it out on our own at some point and from the stories I've heard here, not many of our situations was as desperate as the one I came across today or your mother's Jillar. It just makes me nuts now that I have personally "seen the light".

[Reciprocity]

7 minutes ago, c9jane29 said:

That's crazy!! I would have never thought?!

Yeah .... please keep me physically addicted to nicotine while I'm in a coma - Thanks!!

[Sazerac]

Sometimes , I will throw something out like,

 

'I quit, you can quit too.

It was uncomfortable for a while but, not impossible

and it feels SO Good to be free'

 

but,  I really want to

shake them silly and make them understand.

 

Wow, @jillar,  I didn't know about patches in the hospital.

Why ?

Is there any medical reason you would do that to someone in a coma ?

Perfect time to quit, right ?

 

 

[jillar]

@Sazerac, in Florida it's standard procedure I guess. My mom has patches every time she goes to the hospital and my dad had patches applied in the hospital even though he had hours left to live. 

Maybe it's too keep them comfortable?

[notsmokinjo]

I tend to agree with the no patches... with your dad it was probably to not make him suffer any more.... but with your mum maybe because she was so sick they had enough issues to work with without worry about the chemical changes from a detox as well... especially in the initial stages... this is purely speculation... but seems like the only logical reason.

 

So... I probably would have said "Cutting down to 6 is an awesome start, when do you plan to quit altogether, you are doing so well considering you only had a heart attack to weeks ago".... compliment sandwich... something nice and positive... the negative.... something nice an positive. I wouldn't have been able to help myself.

[Reciprocity]

^^^ Yeah, probably would have been the best strategy  If nothing else, that would have at least made her take notice of the reality of her situation!