Can't stand it

[MLMR]

After all that I do, reading the whole whyquit library, trying to outsmart the thing, succeeding in that so far, 7,5 weeks in, and then bammmm, this saturday morning again. Not only craving but also panick. I don't  want to smoke, I really really don't, so please brain shut up and leave me alone, I want to be at peace with my decision and not be so darn occupied with it all the time! And I definitely don't want to buy, light up, regret, be mad, smoke the whole pack and silently just never return here. Don't want to abandon myself in this. I. WON'T. DO. IT!!! 

 

Need plain muscles now and just get through the hour. 

[Doreensfree]

Hey ML...fight ....that nico monster is trying his best to lure you back...you fight him...he's getting weaker...

Go to you tube ...Qi Gong....beep breaths....hot shower ..scream shout...swear...it will pass...

[MarylandQuitter]

This will pass.  You're doing all of the right things and that includes pushing through this.  Outsmarting this addiction - apply what you know right now - this is where it counts!

[c9jane29]

You know you really don't want to smoke!! Have you went thru HALT? 

Run thru the house screaming if you need to, MLMR, my friend, but please don't smoke!

I know you are stronger than this!

[Mee]

MLMR you can get past it.  I'm a few weeks ahead of you and survived a weekend like that.  Just breath...............deep and realize how good it feels.  

[Doreensfree]

How are doing ML..???.....

[MLMR]

I am here, no cigs. Just came home from a very long hike along the beach, walked, ran, cried and gradually felt the wave fading. Still a bit shaky. But I survived. Grateful for this place, for you people and for everything that I learned. Though it was like I couldnt get to that knowledge, I was able to somehow hold on to it. 

 

Thanks so much for your answers and offering support. Im almost shy that I had to use this part of the board again. But so glad I did. 

Edited October 13, 2018 by MLMR

[c9jane29]

56 minutes ago, MLMR said:

I am here, no cigs.

I am glad and proud and happy I don't have to fly to Holland to kick you carrot butt!!

You are still young in your quit; these thoughts happen. One old nicotine receptor dying, creating memories that perk up another receptor (that begins anticipating nicotine) and like one baby crying; they all start because junkie thinking has you in a weak moment. 

 

But, here's the beauty, you know the lies, the tricks and stolen moments so you have the defenses to fight back! Your quit will be strong and beautiful being forged in the fires of real life...

[Reciprocity]

Glad you got through this MLMR  It's exactly like Jane said. Your active addiction is dying because of all the hard work you've already done. These attacks are it's dying efforts against you! These one's are sometimes harder than in the early days of your quit because you aren't expecting them like when you first quit. The good news is, you have all the mental tools you need to fight these off and, you have all of us here to support you  You're doing all the right things MLMR! Including posting up to the SOS page. That's exactly what it's here for!

[Doreensfree]

Yaaaa good work ML....I thought I would have to get that frying pan out....

This is what SOS is for....to get you through a bad spot....

You still have your beautiful quit....delighted .....x

[jillar]

MLMR, please never feel bad about using this part of the board no matter if you're one day quit or one year quit. I remember being almost 6 months quit and needing extra support. No one judged me then and no one will judge anyone else smart enough to say "hey guys, I need a little support right now".

The constant thoughts of smoking are so normal in the early months and also so frustrating you want to scream GO AWAY. But then one morning you wake up and go about your day until at some point you realise that you haven't thought about smoking in x amount of hours. It's a great feeling and you too will see it soon

Glad you got past that huge crave MLMR, be super proud of yourself

Edited October 13, 2018 by jillar

[johnny5]

I'm glad you fought through this, MLMLR.  Quitting smoking can be tough and it takes a while to completely adjust to life without cigarettes but all this hard work is worth it.

 

Keep up the great work and thanks for posting the SOS.  We all want you to succeed.

[Whispers]

5 hours ago, MarylandQuitter said:

This will pass.  You're doing all of the right things and that includes pushing through this.  Outsmarting this addiction - apply what you know right now - this is where it counts!

"

apply what you know right now - this is where it counts!"

 

That's it right there...

3 hours ago, MLMR said:

I am here, no cigs. Just came home from a very long hike along the beach, walked, ran, cried and gradually felt the wave fading. Still a bit shaky. But I survived. Grateful for this place, for you people and for everything that I learned. Though it was like I couldnt get to that knowledge, I was able to somehow hold on to it. 

 

Thanks so much for your answers and offering support. Im almost shy that I had to use this part of the board again. But so glad I did. 

Good work, remember this next time you're struggling ...  Move a muscle, change a thought and thats basically what you did

[MLMR]

Just a note to all the newbies and lurkers reading here.. Please don't be taken aback by reading about the intensity of cravings further along the line. Know that I am so happy to be where I am now: continuously learning how to do this. Not one single hair on my head whishes to be smoking again and I do believe yesterdays wave had nothing to do with real desire or wanting. It was more of an ugly firework of the brain, crying receptors as Jane explained so acurately and clear. And I couldnt be more happy about passing the fireworks (and not having to deal with the mental mess following lighting up...man, I would have been soo miserable right now).

So please, don't hold yourself back in following through. And try to acquire strategies that you can relate to (note: I don't want to be a know-it-all. Still learning and talking to myself as well, obviously! But I think I am slowly getting there!).

Now, I am going for a firm walk and afterwards I'll be having the best lemonpie in the world, give some fresh smelling hugs and probably have a laughing fit about this circus called 'quitting'!

Bye


 

[Doreensfree]

Great hionest post ML....

Sooooo happy you fought for your quit..the battles get easier...until that wonderful day...you reolize your not fighting any more..

I've yet to read a post from someone who who relapsed ,and is delightfully happy....who has some weeks under their belt....

They are back to being where they were ...and wishing they could turn back the clock ,to where they were....

Don't think of one cigarette...this is a addiction....think of all those thousands will follow ....

[MLMR]

1 hour ago, pottanramu said:

Cigarettes are like hyenas ,especially when you have a dull evening .

Not so sure what you mean by that, I think cigarettes are just a bunch of deadly chemicals wrapped up in paper, invented to enslave you.

 

Did you also read that I am super happy I didn't give in? 

[Sirius]

There are more ex-smokers now then current smokers in the U.K.  https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/1814592/more-than-14-million-brits-have-quit-smoking-and-for-the-first-time-ex-smokers-outnumber-those-hooked-by-two-to-one/

 

It's a well trodden path through temporary discomfort.   If 14 million Britties can quit, it's not an impossible venture.  Just...persevere.

 

Withdrawal symptoms suck, but at the end of the day you won't have the guilt and regret that you smoked.