Scared to Quit?? ... Face Your Fears, I Did and Lived to Tell.

[notsmokinjo]

Are you afraid to QUIT? ... I was.

 

Are you scared that you will fail or fail again? ... Yep, me too.

 

Is your fear that it will be too hard? .... kinda

 

Is your fear you just can't do it? ... that too

 

Is your fear quitting will make you sick? ... yep

 

Is your fear quitting will hasten you death? ... Absolutely petrified this would be the case and as irrational as it was it was the biggest fear I faced.

 

You know what I learnt when I quit? ..... I learnt fear is just a tool nicotine used to control me... it was irrational and built out of proportion. I have been quit for over 10 months now and if anything I am angry with myself that I wasted so many years smoking because I was scarred for all the reasons above.

 

Have I failed?.... not yet, and I wont,  I have no intentions of failing, I feel comfortable saying this feels different than any previous quit. I'm an addict, I'll always be an addict, I'll always be one puff away from a pack a day... but I know that, I embrace that and I really don't want that one puff ever.

 

Was it too hard??? .... Hell no, it was actually easier than I thought it would be... not saying it wasn't hard my lovelies because it was... but it was nowhere near as hard as I had let fear build it up to in my mind. I've certainly done much harder things in my life but then again I've done much easier things too... facing my fears head on and not using them as an excuse to not try has made it easier than I thought it could ever be.

 

Could I do it???  ...... YES... I could and you can too... its simple,  don't put anything in your mouth and set it on fire... after that first 24 hours, I know I could do a day without smoking, I'd done it... so I only have to last 24 hours... then when that's up I only have to last another one.... 10 months later people and here I am doing this every day... same way I'm going to be doing it for the rest of my days.

 

So did quitting make me sick???.....  NOPE.... not one bit, didn't even get bronchitis this winter and its been a long time since that was the case. So if you have been lurking you might know I have some health issues that came to light after I quit but had I not quit it would have been too late to do anything to make me better... so no, quitting did not make me sick, it is helping to cure me.

 

Am I dead??? ......NOPE... obviously... and some of you may be scratching your heads at this one.... but for nearly a decade I was terrified to quit, I had worked the fear almost to the point of phobia, occasionally I still have nightmares that because I am not smoking I will die... Is this chick frickin' crazy? I hear you ask yourselves.... well yes, we all know that I am, but my brain and the hold I let nicotine have over it turned a failed quit attempt (that saw me end up in hospital in a coma post a PE from a DVT) into nearly a decade of 'certainty' that if I tried to quit again I would die. I mean break out in a sweat at the thought of it fear. Long story short, I used a quit method and had a bad reaction to it that caused a DVT that turned into a Pulmonary Embolism ... so 3 days in a coma, nearly 2 weeks in hospital and what was the first thing I did when I walked out the door... I lit up.... and then I convinced myself, or let my addiction convince me, that I should never try to quit again because next time I wouldn't be leaving the hospital.... BUT am I dead???? NOPE.... Will I die??... well of course I will, we all will, but what I can guarantee you 100% is that quitting will not be why I died.

 

So what did I have to Fear???.... NOTHING, my fears were all like wisps of smoke... I blew against them and they dispersed into the ether leaving me smoke free, nicotine free.... leaving me free.

 

And guess what, you too can face your fear.

 

Don't let a fear that has festered and grown because of an addiction's want of control over you be the thing that stops you from quitting. Use today, International Face Your Fears Day... to do just that, face your fear and take back your life. Just over 10 months ago I did and it was the best gift I have ever given myself.

Edited October 9, 2018 by notsmokinjo
Poor proof reading

[Tammy]

Thanks for the write up Jo, a great reminder...absolutely on point. 

Thank you!

[Sazerac]

This is a brilliant post, Jo.  

Thank you so much for your honesty and clarity.

Here are some more links about fear and a couple more stories about the fears of quitting.

Why Fear Inhibits Quitting Smoking & Why This Fear Is Not Based On Fact

 

[time4change]

Wow just what I needed this morning. Such an outstanding read and it sure hits about my feelings at the beginning of my quit.  I have to keep reminding myself not to over think the process and just take it moment by moment. For me day 3 is brutal. Comfort comes from knowing I have a place to come to. Reading and watching videos helps ease the pain. Did sleep better last night. Going to get up and start moving today.  

[Reciprocity]

Great post Jo and it's true! The fear of quitting is often much worse than quitting itself. I think too that some of us use it as an excuse not to try and quit for fear of what it will be like yet as you point out, once we have quit, our only regret is that we didn't do it sooner!

 

Come on people. Make the commitment and take back your life! 

[jillar]

Great post jo, spot on

[notsmokinjo]

43 minutes ago, time4change said:

Wow just what I needed this morning. Such an outstanding read and it sure hits about my feelings at the beginning of my quit.  I have to keep reminding myself not to over think the process and just take it moment by moment. For me day 3 is brutal. Comfort comes from knowing I have a place to come to. Reading and watching videos helps ease the pain. Did sleep better last night. Going to get up and start moving today.  

 

Just focus on one day at a time. You know you can go 24 hours without a smoke. You have done that 3 times now.... in a row.... so just focus on the next 24 hours... 24 hours is easy that's all you have to do... just 24 hours. When that times up I bet you feel like going another 24 hours without smoking... and guess what you can do it... you have the history to prove 24 hours is nothing, you can certainly go 24 hours without a smoke. Keep going T4C... you are doing so well.

[Parsley]

Very good post!  Oh so true!

Embrace your quit!

Enjoy the freedom!

[Doreensfree]

Great post Jo...

What I have learnt over the years since I quit....

Yes I was scared of living without my crutch...how would I manage ...how will I reward myself.....

When I smoked... the nature of the addiction took the fear away...nothing will happen to me ..puff puff....WRONG....

Something bad was happening...and I knew it was connected to smoking....but the fear of quitting was bigger ...

Once I was given the choice...quit...or face the consequences.... It all came clear....

The nature of this horrible addiction is to take away your fear... to keep you hooked....until it kills you....

See what this addition is ...

It's killed more good folks than all the wars out together....fear smoking...NOT quitting....

 

[Mee]

3 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

When I smoked... the nature of the addiction took the fear away...nothing will happen to me ..puff puff....WRONG...

I think we all kept smoking with the thought that nothing was going to happen to us.  I smoked though breast cancer and radiation!  I was scared to death I was going to die from breast cancer but not cigarettes???????  I have to say it - WTF was I thinking.  

I could not have quit without this forum.  All the failed attempts with my doctor's help did not work because I was so ashamed and always felt the doctors looked down on me.  

Here I am in the comfort of those that know me and truly understand the addiction.  I am now excited at the prospect of living my life without them and know that quitting can be done.

I also get excited when I see new quitters show up and realize that I can help them on their journey.   

[c9jane29]

Great post Jo! I kept myself from doing alot of things due to fear based thinking, but having the courage to quit opened me up to trying alot of new things.

Not any more!

I'm glad you're feeling good in your quit Jo; you've fought hard for it!