what is you animal NOPE

[notsmokinjo]

4th October is World Animal Day.... which made me think (and nope, didn't hurt a bit)....

 

Edited October 4, 2018 by notsmokinjo

[notsmokinjo]

 

 

[NADA]

23 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

 

 

 

Jo

 

Regarding the bottom picture, please do not use images of my body (or parts thereof) without my permission. 

[notsmokinjo]

1 hour ago, BKP said:

 

Jo

 

Regarding the bottom picture, please do not use images of my body (or parts thereof) without my permission. 

 

Oh shit mate sorry.... I just assumed all the photos I found in the locked secret draw of the celebration desk when I took over were either Reci or Pork Chop.... my bad.

[notsmokinjo]

Why, why dose a Leatherback Sea Turtle need so many teeth... this is one hige NOPE...

 

[jillar]

I was looking for a pic of maggots in a wound and they were grossing me out so much I stopped lol. But that's my NOPE!

[Doreensfree]

8 hours ago, jillar said:

I was looking for a pic of maggots in a wound and they were grossing me out so much I stopped lol. But that's my NOPE!

 

Aww that's a big NOPE for too @jillar....beyond gross...

[Stewie]

This thread makes me horny

[Rozuki]

[c9jane29]

This. Won't even say the word. 

 

 

 

(Stop scratching your head!)

[notsmokinjo]

From the land down under.... the world's deadliest Octopus.... which can kill 26 adults with one bite and there is no known anti-venom.... and this little thing is full grown....

 

 

And why is this idiot holding one.... one word... TOURIST!

Edited October 8, 2018 by notsmokinjo

[Sirius]

A bit too clingy for my tastes.

 

 

 

[Reciprocity]

On 10/11/2018 at 1:23 PM, Sirius said:

A bit too clingy for my tastes.

 

 

 

 

So ......... you've met my X-Wife?

[Cbdave]

G'day Jo

just don't watch

 

[notsmokinjo]

gee thanks for the warning there @Cbdave .... the picture was enough.

 

So funny story about me and spiders... many years ago I was sitting on the train, all dressed up in me fancy office clothes reading the news paper in peak hour melbourne... so by stop 3 standing room only, I'm about 3 pages in, I turn the page and see a huge giant picture of a mouse spider and some poor bugger in NSW who's yard is infested by them... its a picture... I scream like a lunatic, stand up, throw the paper down the train carriage and start doing the spider dance you know where you brush yourself off and shake and hyperventilate.... about 10 seats away a bloke yells out... "Herald Sun, Page 9?.... Its a Picture Love, sit down".... who carriage laughed and I had another 16 stops til I got off.

 

 

[Reciprocity]

8 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

gee thanks for the warning there @Cbdave .... the picture was enough.

 

So funny story about me and spiders... many years ago I was sitting on the train, all dressed up in me fancy office clothes reading the news paper in peak hour melbourne... so by stop 3 standing room only, I'm about 3 pages in, I turn the page and see a huge giant picture of a mouse spider and some poor bugger in NSW who's yard is infested by them... its a picture... I scream like a lunatic, stand up, throw the paper down the train carriage and start doing the spider dance you know where you brush yourself off and shake and hyperventilate.... about 10 seats away a bloke yells out... "Herald Sun, Page 9?.... Its a Picture Love, sit down".... who carriage laughed and I had another 16 stops til I got off.

 

 

You and my daughter would get along just fine then. She sees the tiniest little spider and she's catatonic (after the screaming stops!)

[Doreensfree]

I saw my big strapping 6 ft son...squeal like a girly in Australia... When one of those beauties was above his bed...quickly followed by me ...

[notsmokinjo]

I think you mean a Huntsman spider... they like to be inside... those other things tend to stay outside... ( @Cbdave do not debase me of this belief.... only huntsmen, and white tails (the fruckin mofos) like to come inside... all the rest stay outside, just say yes and keep walking).....

 

 

 

 

 

[jillar]

Will all those creatures you have in Australia that want to kill you,  the only way I'll be seeing your country is through the tv!

Edited October 23, 2018 by jillar

[notsmokinjo]

1 hour ago, jillar said:

Will all those creatures you have in Australia that want to kill you,  the only way I'll be seeing your country is through the tv!

 

Huntsmen can't kill you jillar... they can bite you but it wont kill you cos the venom doesn't kill us.... it will hurt where they bite and if you don't clean it properly it can get infected but it wont kill you, just looks scary. 25million of us live here and most of us never get bitten by anything nasty or deadly... seriously unless you are right in the bush or the outback you should be fine. Our snakes might be 9 out the 10 deadliest and then a few more in the top 20 BUT.... more people are killed by snakes in California each year than the whole of Australia combined. HOWEVER, seeing as our scientists invented myxo you might be better to stay away during mozzie season

[jillar]

27 minutes ago, notsmokinjo said:

HOWEVER, seeing as our scientists invented myxo you might be better to stay away during mozzie season

 

What the hell is mozzie season?!

[notsmokinjo]

Mozzie Season.... (mozzies = mosquitoes) .... interesting fact, the deadliest animal on earth (and yes insects are animals) is the mosquitoe. It is responsible for more deaths and illnesses globally than any other animal. Bullshit I hear you think... cos I have super hearing apparently.... but yes, think about it, Malaria, Dengue Fever, Murray Valley (and a dozen other varients) Encephalitis.... they are evil little fruckers... and we haven't even counted the millions of rabbits they kill every year with myxo... yep mozzies, ducks and dolphins the most evil animals on earth... well dolphins are just sociopaths.... but that's another fun fact for another day... Anyway in Melbourne we definitely have a Mozzie Season... because you can't find them in winter... so its late spring to mid Autumn (fall).... but if its a drought year there are usually less mozzies cos less breading grounds... now the stripy ones ya have to watch in Melbourne cos they have Ross River Virus which is not fun, but wont kill you.... our mozzies are pretty safe... you might get Ross River and there is a very slight chance if you are in the top end and in the few isolated pockets that have it you may get Murray Valley Encephalitis... that's really bad. I'm not saying Ross River isn't bad because it is and last for years (think chronic fatigue) but its not deadly like the others... now what were we talking about... oh yes cos all mozzies in Australia carry myxo, which kills bunnies, don't come during the mozzzie season.

[Reciprocity]

9 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

I think you mean a Huntsman spider... they like to be inside... those other things tend to stay outside... ( @Cbdave do not debase me of this belief.... only huntsmen, and white tails (the fruckin mofos) like to come inside... all the rest stay outside, just say yes and keep walking).....

 

 

 

 

 

So, you've got spiders that will kill a frickin rat for food? Geez-Louise!!

[notsmokinjo]

3 hours ago, reciprocity said:

So, you've got spiders that will kill a frickin rat for food? Geez-Louise!!

Um.. nope that's just an itty bitty mouse.... and the frickin huntsman probably took it outta the trap to take it home to eat... they are smart fruckers... know your watching them... deliverately sit between you and the death spray and when you finally mount the courage to make a dash for the spray you turn around and *poof* the buggers vanished..... I have phoned my father at 2am to come and kill a spider for me so I could go to bed... and the poor old coote got outta bed, and drove over in his flannel jammies and his blundstone boots to rescue me.... for a spider that wasn't that big... about the size of a inch and 1/2... he was not impressed.

[notsmokinjo]

Oh but @reciprocity we do have spiders that eat birds....at least 2 species I know of, the Golden Orb and the Bird Eating Spider....

 

 

^^ and they get bigger than that....

 

Or just for fun... we even have those spiders who prefer to eat snakes... and we all know how non-venomous our snakes are...

 

 

 

^^ But those are in Queensland.. not lovely, beautiful Victoria... nope... not giant bird eating beasts here.