Help again

[MLMR]

Please help 

I am loosing touch with my decision rapidly. It's getting harder to stay positive.. I'm not sure what's happening. It's like I am mourning,  though I don't actively miss smoking. I really do my best to enjoy what I would normally enjoy, but... it sort of doesn't happen. It resembles so much the early start of depression, which I am all too familiair with. I really don't want to go there and rationally I know this probably isn't that. I don't want to lose this and I don't know how to ETQ in a gentlest-as-possible-way  the moment. 

 

 

[notsmokinjo]

OK... so you are 1 month quit... that's a big milestone, possibly bigger than the 1 year milestone because it is the hardest one to get to.... Think about how far you have come. Think about all the achievements you have made that you would have to go through again. It is a lifestyle change but there is nothing to mourn over, it is all positive. No more poisons being pumped into your body, no more slavery to an addiction. You know you can do this because for 32 days you have, you just need to hang in for the next 24 hours. 

[Wee fluffy me]

Hang in there my life.. you've just hit a wee bump in the road. I remember going through the same most of us have. It felt like the death of a loved one I was mourning. It really helps if you can try to think positively (Not easy at this time, I know) you are not losing anything but you are gaining, your health, precious moments and your freedom  to name but a few.

 

Your nicodeamon is kicking up all hell and doing everything it can to make you think that things are so much worse than what they are and that a wee smoke would fix it all.. 

 

Well... you know it won't, it won't fix anything... in fact it will make you feel a million times worse..

 

As Jo rightly said, you've made it through the hardest month and yep that is a bigger deal than the 1 year.. Why because you have to drag yourself through it kicking and screaming but you arrive victorious if a little battle scarred at the end of it.. 

 

You have made it through the first month. You are awesome but your body and mind are healing so please, please,  hang on in there. I promise you, it does get better..

Just take it one day at a time..

[Sslip]

My life, stick with us. I had a tough time between the four and six week mark. I guess that's due to the realization that we are actually doing this and can continue. Not a good time for the addict in us. And I guess that sense of loss to the addict can definitely be felt as a downer. 

 

It was only the reflection on the good things I was achieving that helped pull me through. 

 

Tell me what positives you have seen and what you would expect to feel from smoking? You know it would taste bad, you know you would really feel a sense of loss for that beautiful quit, you know you would reawaken the addict fully. 

 

In fact this time a month ago I bet you would have been desperate to be right where you are now a month later. 

 

It's an emotion, not a crave. Embrace it and stick with your guides here, because we love having you here and you are worth it. 

[Rozuki]

MLMR, the 1st day, 1st week, 1st month milestones were the hardest.....for me, at least! It was as if my brain wouldn't stop obsessing about placing a poison stick in my mouth and lighting it on fire!!!!

 

Keep reminding yourself "one day at a time", meditate and use deep breathing to calm yourself down. It takes all our strength to get past those obsessive thoughts in the beginning of this journey ...but as the days add up those thoughts will become weaker and weaker. 

 

If you can... go for a 15 minute power walk, or take a shower, or take a nap, or brush your teeth....it will help!! 

Edited September 23, 2018 by Rozuki

[Doreensfree]

Don't loose your fabulous month quit..

 

Soooo...you lit up that cancer stick ...your throat will burn ..you'll cough...you'll stink...and you will be so upset with yourself...that you are back to where you started..

Wishing you were quit...

Stay strong fight for your quit..you will be so happy you did ..

[WeegieWoman]

Hi my life, just wanted to chip in if you are on any medication make sure you aren't missing taking it? Early in my quit I was so caught up in my quit that I was forgetting to take my meds. And whoosh my anxiety shot up! 

 

Just keep doing what you are doing and  stick around here, read and post, read and post. I read incessantly early in my quit. Not just on the board. Anything to do with quitting and the benefits of quitting. That just reaffirmed over and over again what I was doing and why I was doing it. 

 

 

 

 

[MLMR]

Thanks a lot. The internet connection us crap here,  but when I can, I read your answer.  Hanging in, at least for today I decided. 

[Sazerac]

Hola, M'life,

Pleased to hear you are hanging in.

Each day brings change.  Maybe today will bring you more clarity.

You have power.  Use it to defeat your addiction.

 

If you think depression is knocking at your door you certainly don't want to smoke

because losing your quit will plummet you down down down.

Where's that at ? 

You don't want to be there. 

No no no.  You really don't want to be there.

Save your quit, protect your quit and nurture yourself.

 

You may be feeling bad but, smoking can not change that for the better.

 

Your smoking days are over.

Remember the 'ahhhh' moment we used to feel when lighting up ?

You won't get that anymore unless you smoke a few to re-establish that synapse, re-establish your addiction.

Why would you ever want to do that ?

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.

 

[Wee fluffy me]

Good choice My life and yep take it one day at a time and each day we get a wee bitty stronger against this addiction until one day you realise you are in control ..

 

Keep going.. you got this..

[d2e8b8]

My life,  Awesome job for hanging in there.  You're beating it.

 

Also, it's great that you posted here rather than giving in.  These moments will come as you hit the occasional triggers.  We've smoked for years and it will keep trying to find a way back in.

 

You're doing awesome.  Stay strong and share your pics from Spain.  

 

P.S. Isn't it nice to be able to climb the steep streets without running out of breath? 

[c9jane29]

)So, what's junkie thinking telling you? That it's not worth it? It doesn't matter if you quit now because you can quit again? One drag won't hurt?...We know these lies, right? We studied and practiced our nope for this day.

You ETQ right now by owning that you only feel this way because you smoked not because you quit. You acknowledge these feelings as smoking memories and simply move on.

Winning these small battles are how you win the war MLMR. 

Eventually, your brain will stop sening you constant signals...you just have to keep pushing thru, friend.

 

Just wanted to add, that you should try something new. I don't wear makeup dauly, but in my early quit, I loved playing with eyeshadow colors. (Since you don't want to Bob Ross with me)

Also, Linda Thomas, wisely suggested a mantra seperate from NOPE. Mine was "find something else to do". I also had a visulation of a light switch in the off position(in my minds eye); that meant my smoking lamp was off and smoking is not an option at the moment.

 

Sorry so longwinded MLMR, but I want to fill your box with tools, even if you don't use/need them because I want you to succeed! 

 

Edited September 23, 2018 by c9jane29

[Mee]

My Life, I am a little bit ahead of you on the quit train and I had a bad day yesterday too.  I chewed the head off of anything in my path.  That darn smoking thought kept popping into my head.  Then, I thought I was looking for excuses to run out that door and down to the corner store.  I do have this thought that I have now planted into my head and it brings me back to reality.   

The thought - "I choose life" .  I have so much to live for.  I have never come this far before.  Why would I want to go back.  

Keep reaching out - we are here.  

[Aine]

For me, I have grieved the "loss" of smoking. It was my habit for 40 years, and retraining the mind to see the reality rather than the lies has taken some time. After about 9 months, I realized that it had been a few days rather than minutes since I had had obsessive thoughts about smoking. That's the question we all ask, right? How long? How long before I can think about something other than smoking and killing myself. That last bit is the thing I need to focus completely when the thoughts come. Aside from the quite real physical withdrawal you are going through, the thought patterns need to be synced again to reality. 

 

Lies I told myself:

 

Smoking calms me.

 

Truth:

Uh, no. Nicotine actually is a stimulant. The "calming" comes from the fix that happens as soon as I give my body the hit. The adrenal glands go, "Thanks, big hug!" Problem there is that my heart is constantly being exercised while completely stationary, which I guess isn't so healthy. 

 

Lie: I'm one of those people who just can't quit.

 

Truth: No. I'm one of those people who will tell myself that in order to keep doing whatever I'm doing that will kill me. I said it about dope, booze, and then the nicotine. And I have quit all of those and stayed quit, just for today.  

 

If I stay focused on the real cause and effect, I don't feel quite so bad. And it gets better, trust us. Your day is coming.

 

[Reciprocity]

What Aine said is pretty much bang on! This process takes time and we have to be patient with it and when we feel we can't that's when we have to reach down and summons ALL of our will power and just say NOPE! Some days saying it repeatedly all day long if necessary. The really bad days come to us still after a few weeks but they also go. The truth is, they become fewer and fewer along the way. 

 

Takes time to retrain your brain and all the emotions you have to live normally again without smoking being attached to all of your emotions. No wonder we feel lost and detached from life for awhile. It happens to all of us My Life. It's just your turn now so come on and fight for your life because, that just may be what you are really fighting for in the end. 

 

It's doable - we have all been there and won those battles  

[jillar]

Hi my life I'm so glad to see that you want this quit bad enough to post SOS again. I posted a couple of my own and then just like now for you, these awesome members came to the rescue

I'm hoping your tomorrow is just a little better for you, you really are doing great. Just keep believing in yourself xoxo

Edited September 23, 2018 by jillar

[Martian5]

MyLife, thanks for posting.  It is hard at times, it does seem like a loss at times.  But you have to think about the positives from quitting this last month and hang on to those thoughts to get you through.  It does get better and the fight gets easier but fight we have to and the win is a quality life for you -- Keep It Going -- You Can Do This!!!!

[Sazerac]

read this,

My Cigarette, My Friend

[johnny5]

I'm glad you've decided to hang in there, My Life.  Nothing is worth lighting up another cigarette over.  Remember, smoking will not solve anything, it just makes things a lot worse.

 

Thanks for posting an SOS.  These first few weeks can be rough but it is worth fighting through.  Things do get a lot better with time.

[MLMR]

Thanks all so much for putting thought and time in your answers. Read everything several times. I am coming along.. and trying to accept what it is right now. Not easy, but I dont have another option. Breath in, breath out. At least I'm proud for being in some strange Spanish village where literally EVERY person smokes, including the people I am with. But not me. It's absurd, being there and missing something to cope with, well... what, life? Holiday, sunny life? No.. I smoked because I had to cope with daily withdrawl symptoms.  I have to keep reminding myself and power through. I have to believe you guys when you tell me it will get better. I believe you and I go on. Pfieww. Thanks again. 

[jillar]

Super proud of you my life for keeping that awesome quit around all those smokers, maybe you'll inspire someone else to quit too  

[Wee fluffy me]

Way to go My life, you're doing fantastic keep it up

[catlover]

Big Well done for hanging on, those first days and weeks sure can be hell. Keep digging those heels in and stay determined. You WILL win the fight.

[MLMR]

48 minutes ago, pottanramu said:

Try nicotine gums , it helps a lot

Its better than inhaling smoke and damaging your lungs

 

I am almost a nicotine gum specialist , 2 gums can last for 4 hours

Neh, no nicotine for me anymore. Why would I, after 5 weeks of abstinence?

[Sazerac]

1 hour ago, pottanramu said:

Try nicotine gums , it helps a lot

Its better than inhaling smoke and damaging your lungs

 

I am almost a nicotine gum specialist , 2 gums can last for 4 hours

 

No no no no no and NO.

 

While I respect your method of quitting, pottanramu,

recommending nicotine to someone who has stopped administering nicotine is horrible and dangerous advice.

It only awakens the addiction. 

This happens no matter how you administer nicotine, smoking, gum, patches etc...

 

 

Here, we are dealing not only with smoking but with nicotine addiction

and I encourage you to learn all you can about nicotine addiction because knowledge is power

and is an essential component of a successful quit.

 

I hope you understand my fervor and passion.

 

 

 

 

Edited September 29, 2018 by Sazerac