A choice to be made

[CanDoCouldBe]

Let me see....I am 64 years old and smoked since I was 17.  I can stop smoking, go through years of physical, emotional, and mental distress, alienate others with my frustrations and anxieties, completely change my life.....OR I can continue poisoning myself, have a heart attack, die, go to Heaven (which everyone says is a much nicer place than this toilet of a world in which we live) and again be with my dead wife whom I love and miss very much.  Hmmmm  Decisions, decisions.

[Reciprocity]

Welcome to Quit TrainCDCB!

 

Sorry to hear you no longer have your wife around as a life long companion. I'm sure this makes things tougher in general for you.

I don't think the choice to quit or carry on smoking is quite as black and white as you state it to be.

 

Most of us here believe that quitting is of the utmost importance not only to our future health but for numerous other reasons as well like more money in our pockets and yes, the big one ........ Freedom from this addiction dictating almost every move we make on a daily basis. Yes! Freedom to do what we choose when we choose.

 

The other thing I would take issue with is how you see your demise from continuing to smoke. Heart attack might be one thing but there are many other illnesses that smoking promotes and some are not as kind as going out with a sudden heart attack.

 

Here's my final point to you. I have found that it is a pretty hard thing to do this quitting but it is doable! Aside from gaining a lot of knowledge about the addiction, a positive and strong attitude going into a quit is required to be successful long term. The difficult part of quitting does not last ongoing as you suggest. It's normally just at the beginning stages where symptoms are present. They all eventually fade away as you adjust to life as a non-smoker. I hope you reflect on these things and can see a way to look at this quitting thing more positively. Would love to be able to support you, as would others here I'm sure.

Edited July 18, 2018 by reciprocity

[WeegieWoman]

Hi CDCB and welcome.  I just wanted to chip in that im 8 months quit and have experienced no physical, emotional, and mental distress.  My life has changed but its all good, no negatives (well apart from a few pounds but im working on that!) . I'm less anxious, more chilled and happier.  It really might not be as bad as you imagine. Has something happened that has prompted this decision? What's making you consider quitting? 

 

 

[Sazerac]

As a 60 something Atheist and nicotine free, 

all I can do is encourage you to stop smoking.

We are here for all kinds of support.

[Doreensfree]

Firstly ..welcome aboard ..

Im guessing deep down ..you would love to be a non smoker....that's why you here ....right !!!

I was the same age as you when I came here and quit..so yes my friend it's doable..

I'm sorry too..you have lost your companion in life..

But I have too..he,s not passed away ..yet !...sorry to be blunt ..he is end stage Emphysema... And is in hospital as I write..because his blood will not hold  enough oxygen..

Believe me..this is  no life for anyone...

Take a seat beside me...

You won't regret it...I promise...and you know....its great to make new friends and just hang out and have fun...you up for it ????

 

[jillar]

Welcome Candocouldbe, so you're thinking about quitting smoking huh? I have to agree with those above that you WON'T have years of physical, emotional, and mental distress or alienate others with your frustrations and anxieties. BUT you will completely change your life.

Did you know that within days of quitting your taste buds start rejuvenating and food starts tasting really good? Your gums start getting pink, your hands and feet start getting warm again? These were HUGE to me. Especially the warm hands and feet! And as far as alienating your friends and family, it's really quite the opposite as most of them will be so happy that you've quit that they will look past a few grumpy months (not years!).  You'll smell great, your kids and grandkids will love giving dad/grandpa hugs because you'll no longer reek of stale nasty smoke!

So, I hope we've given you enough reasons to take your life back and join us. Like Doreen said, it doesn't have to be all misery. We have a lot of fun stuff here that really helps keep your mind occupied and off the craves.  

Edited July 18, 2018 by jillar

[JimHannoonen]

You have one life, buddy.

 

One.

 

As much as you would like to believe there is a Heaven, you don't know. What if there isn't? You need to take advantage of the time you have here on this beautiful planet. Right here, right now.

 

Stop smoking and start living, my friend

[Whispers]

14 minutes ago, JimHannoonen said:

You have one life, buddy.

 

One.

 

As much as you would like to believe there is a Heaven, you don't know. What if there isn't? You need to take advantage of the time you have here on this beautiful planet. Right here, right now.

 

Stop smoking and start living, my friend

Not much more i can add outside of its never too late. Welcome, you'll get good support here

[Martian5]

Welcome CDCB;

I know where you are at.  I was in the same place as  you not long ago and had  the same thoughts.  I made the choice to quit back in January fearing many of the same things you do.  The first few days were a little rough -- then it got better ( not the easiest but not as bad as you may think).  This is a choice that I have not looked back on -- Life has much more meaning.  I have done some damage to my body but I am getting better.  The choice is yours but I can tell you if you make the right choice of quitting you will be so much happier.  

[d2e8b8]

If you like exploring, discovering new experiences, you may want to experience life without cigarettes :).  Something totally different and new.  Kind of like a journey on the Enterprise.

[johnny5]

Welcome to QuitTrain, CanDoCouldBe.  I'm really sorry to hear about your wife and I know it must make a big task like quitting smoking a lot more daunting.

 

I agree with pretty much what everyone here has just told you.  I'll add that I was really intimidated by the idea of quitting and thought I'd be completely miserable.  Truth is, it was tough at first, but it wound up being a big life-changing event and one of the best things I feel I've ever done.

 

Continuing to smoke is not going to make anything better and it will probably make things a lot worse.  As others stated, a quick heart attack isn't the only thing that can result from continuing to smoke.  There are many other painful and prolonged illnesses that can result from smoking and nobody wants to go through those.

 

Give quitting a shot.  Read up on nicotine addiction here and seek support from this place.  Quitting smoking is definitely doable and you will get a lot of support here in your journey.

Edited July 18, 2018 by johnny5

[NADA]

9 hours ago, CanDoCouldBe said:

Let me see....I am 64 years old and smoked since I was 17.  I can stop smoking, go through years of physical, emotional, and mental distress, alienate others with my frustrations and anxieties, completely change my life.....OR I can continue poisoning myself, have a heart attack, die, go to Heaven (which everyone says is a much nicer place than this toilet of a world in which we live) and again be with my dead wife whom I love and miss very much.  Hmmmm  Decisions, decisions.

 

I see your list of reasons not to quit.  Where are the reasons why you should?

[Boo]

The only choice to be made is whether to settle for living as a smoker or doing what needs to be done to experience life free from the shackles of nicotine addiction.  I'm sorry for your loss, but cigarettes are not going to alleviate any problems in your life.  Smoking only compounds any existing issues you have.

 

9 hours ago, CanDoCouldBe said:

 I can stop smoking, go through years of physical, emotional, and mental distress, alienate others with my frustrations and anxieties, completely change my life

 

I suggest you make your choice quickly.  The fear of the quit is worse than the actual process of quitting.  You can manage a quit, but that unwarranted fear will really do a number on you.

 

There is no way for any of us to make a comprehensive list of the ways you personally will benefit from quitting.  I can assure you however that the benefits are many and compound over time.  

 

Choose wisely.

[Reciprocity]

So, 12 people have all given you very similar advice in different words. What say you CDCB?

 

[JB 883]

There will be some distress when quitting but it won't last for years.

So smoking 47 years. That is a little longer than i have been alive.

 

Each of us has to decide for ourselves what the right choices are, how to live our own lives.

 

 I am in no position to give advice to someone 20 years my senior but will say -

If you decide to quit, this is one good place for support and info.

[Sazerac]

On 7/18/2018 at 9:37 AM, CanDoCouldBe said:

Let me see....I am 64 years old and smoked since I was 17.  I can stop smoking, go through years of physical, emotional, and mental distress, alienate others with my frustrations and anxieties, completely change my life.....OR I can continue poisoning myself, have a heart attack, die, go to Heaven (which everyone says is a much nicer place than this toilet of a world in which we live) and again be with my dead wife whom I love and miss very much.  Hmmmm  Decisions, decisions.

 

 

Dear CanDoCouldBe,

Your humor/sarcasm/irony/satire isn't lost on me.

You should hang out with us, we could have some laughs while your life/health gets a fcuk of a lot better...

( better in the not too long term,  of course there may be discomfort in the short  but, nothing you cannot endure.)

It's time to be really kind to yourself.

Love,

S

[Stewie]

Join us. We have cookies.

 

No but really that stuff can kill you slowly and painfully, why not quit it and have some fun doing it.

[Cristóbal]

On 7/18/2018 at 6:37 AM, CanDoCouldBe said:

Let me see....I am 64 years old and smoked since I was 17.  I can stop smoking, go through years of physical, emotional, and mental distress, .

 

Ok....let´s stop right here CanDoCouldBe.....

 

I started smoking when I was 12. I smoked for more than 30 years in most years 2 packs a day, so I am not impressed how long you have smoked, or how much you smoked. And most people who are here, will say the same thing.  The thing that we all have in common, is that we are nicotine addicts. We fed this addiction by smoking cigarettes. And in the process, we did much damage for many years to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

 

What you are not realizing, is that you have been living the past 47 years with "physical, emotional, and mental distress", because nicotine addiction made you 47 years ago an emotional, mental, physical, and (must add this - spiritual)  slave to smoking tobacco. You are stuck in the addiction as a slave, and are comfortable with all the garbage that it has brought into your life.

 

That is what the addiction does to you, however you are on the inside of the addiction looking to the outside....and those of us who have quit and have a long time living as ex-smokers, we are on the outside looking back to where you are right now on the inside.

 

We already know the road that it is ahead of you. If you decide to quit, you will never regret it, and we can be with you every day as you start your journey.

 

 

I quit cold turkey, and it was really easy to do once I made the decision to end the slavery. That is what you are as a smoker.......*A SLAVE*,  and *IN PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL  DISTRESS* 24 hours a day, as you said in your first post.

 

 

Put a date in the close future as your quit date, and join us. We say often "jump, and we will catch you".  It is never too late to quit smoking, and there are so many long-term benefits that quitting smoking brings to you that you cannot even imagine at this point in life.

 

Life is so wonderful as a non-smoker, that the only regret I have in life, is that I did not quit many years earlier.  I am so in love with my freedom, and with my life!  Every new day as a non-smoker, is a beautiful gift that I have given to myself.

 

And the only reason why I am here, typing these words to you, spending my own personal time to do this,  is to try to bring this same beauty and meaning, to you.

 

Here, on the other side, unicorns really sh*t rainbows.....life is that good as a non-smoker.

 

 

 

 

Cristóbal

 

 

 

Edited July 21, 2018 by Cristóbal

[JB 883]

Am I the only one wondering what the hell the point of this thread even is?

 

It would be like if my super overweight room mate went on a fitness forum and said, "I could go to the gym and hurt, sweat, run out of breath or i could sit on my fat butt and scarf down another entire bag of candy. Decisions decisions".

 

The only difference of course is on fitness forums, everyone calls each other "brah" or whatever young testosterone calls it's fellow males trying to be hyper masculine.

[Wayne045]

Jet-black has a point.   Why come here to tell us you can't quit because it's too hard.

 

This reminds me of a topic on the former QSMB.   An 80+ year old woman was essentially asking for permission to keep smoking.   When you're asking that question on a support forum for quitting you already know the answer before you post, else why come here.

 

If you want someone to tell you to keep smoking, there are plenty of pro-smoking forums that will not only tell you to continue smoking, but to increase your smoking.

 

But you are here, not there.  So I'm guessing you want to quit no?

 

[CanDoCouldBe]

Wow.  Comments run the gamut from sanctified to sanctimonious. I should have known better.  There's nothing new here.

[Rory69]

59 minutes ago, CanDoCouldBe said:

Wow.  Comments run the gamut from sanctified to sanctimonious. I should have known better.  There's nothing new here. 

 

It sounds like you’re still grieving for your wife, CanDo.  Did she smoke? If you’re dealing with the pain of grief, this may not be the best time to quit because quitting is hard and it takes all your concentration. Stay in touch though, even if you’re just lurking, because when you are ready, people will be here to help.  

[notsmokinjo]

4 hours ago, CanDoCouldBe said:

Wow.  Comments run the gamut from sanctified to sanctimonious. I should have known better.  There's nothing new here.

 

If it helps we are all different people, with different approaches to quitting... look for the positive posts that resound with you and take from them what you need. I don't always agree with or (if I am completely honesty) appreciate the advice I receive from others, especially at the time... and then down the track, something will happen and I will see a comment that rubbed me the wrong way weeks or months ago in a different light and I will have an ahh moment... and then there are some statements or opinions that I will never gel with. The things is we are all individuals and all have different approaches to life, we can't control or dictate what another will say or do... but we can filter what we get for what is good and helpful for us and focus on that. Not all comments you received to your initial post were bad surely. Focus on what was good and work with that. Whatever you decide to do, only you have the power to make that decision... we will be here to support you when you need.

[CanDoCouldBe]

Nineteen waking hours with no nicotine. While I listen to everyone here telling me how good they are, all the reasons I should quit, and how wonderful they feel, even rainbow farting unicorns, I am ready to commit violence.  An hour ago I was reduced to going outside to the ash bin looking for smokeable butts. As I am nearly thirty miles from the nearest place which sells cigarettes, I had the bright idea of giving my car keys to my father-in-law so I wouldn't be tempted to drive there. Cream of tartar with OJ. Honey. Turmeric. Hard candy. Toothpicks. No gum in the house, I looked. Ran until my feet hurt. My dog won't even stay in the same room with me. Showers, hot and cold.  I want a MF< GD $#%^&*$*^#$@&* CIGARETTE!

[notsmokinjo]

19 hours and 10 minutes. Great idea giving the FIL your keys. What about watching funny shit on You Tube... laughing releases endorphins. UM.... I know some people take a sleeping pill or the night time cold and flu tablets in the first few days to get some reprieve. Not sure where in the world you are.

The early days are hard work mate, not going to sprinkle sugar over it.. and it used to piss me off completely when people further down the road would tell me it gets better and how great they felt... drove me insane... but we say that shit to give you hope... because it does get better and easier... in time.

 

Oh look 19hrs and 20 minutes.... you are nearly at the 1 day mark, 24 hours.

 

Most people here have posted about moments when they felt like you do now. I know I have had a few.

 

Have you written a list of the reasons you want to quit? Maybe you could start that.

 

Actually I just noticed something really positive about your statement... you said "I want.." NOT "I Need..."... guess what, even if it was subconsciously you just won the 2nd battle... (battle one choosing to quit)... you know you don't need one, that its a want and you can control that. You have the power over that.

 

 

Edited July 23, 2018 by notsmokinjo