What would your advice be for a scared smoker...

[Still winning]

OK new team!  I am engaging your help because my Mum seems to believe I am some stalwart quit machine and not anyone can quit!! I don't know if she genuinely wants to quit, but she has been saying since last July she wants to and has made attempts and succeeded in cutting down from 3 packs to 2 most days...

 

Her name is Jacqui, she is 65 and has COPD. I can hear it getting worse.  She has smoked since teen years.  In one hour she is going to a smoking cessation meeting and she is creating excuses and fears like I can't get around (disabled) so what will I do, in the evenings, if I'm craving etc.  So what would your advice be to her...

 

EDIT - Feel free to add, think I will mail it to her later as she's fretting over the appt, but is actually going :)  So please add your thoughts and support. I would genuinely appreciate it. x

[Still winning]

I will link this to her email to read. x

[action]

Hello Jacqui, it's nice to 'meet' you; I hope I am able to help!

 

My name is Ross and I am a nicotine addict ;)

 

Firstly, I hope the meeting you have in a while goes well; I have never been to one before, but I wish I had. I have failed my quit so many times in the past because I did not know about the laws of addiction. I gave up quitting; I was resigned to smoking forever, probably until it killed me.

 

Then I got the flu, this was not normal flu, this was proper MAN-FLU (!!). I couldn't get out of bed. I wasn't allowed to smoke in the house, and I was too sick to even think about smoking anyway (for the one or two hours I was actually awake). This probably lasted a little over a week. I was then able to get out of bed, but I was still too sick to smoke. By the time I started feeling a little better it was 2 weeks without a cigarette. I decided that i liked having money in my pocket and not going outside every 20 minutes to get a fix. I would see how long I could last. I have lasted nearly 6 months. I will never smoke again. For the first time in my life I feel in control, rather than being controlled. I fell fitter and healthier than I did 10 years ago.

 

Quitting smoking is not impossible. It's hard, but not imposdible. We are all proof of that. I believe that if you can get through the first 2 weeks (by any means), then you will be able to be smoke free for life.

 

Just look at your wonderful daughter; does she seem different since she quit? I bet she is happier. I bet the only think that would make her even happier is of you quit too. But you have to want to do it for yourself.

 

I think you will be OK. With Marti's help, you can beat cigarettes.

[Colleen]

I think when we first quit, we think we are more addicted than anyone else and therefore harder to quit.  Which isn't true at all.  It was actually much easier to quit then I expected and I was a heavy smoker.  Once you get over the initial fear and let the beauty of the quit take over (yes, beauty), it's all downhill from there.  

 

Marti your mom has COPD, I am not sure how long she has had it or how advanced it is.  The doctor's must have told her that quitting was the best thing she could do.  It's not just silly talk coming from someone who was told that fact in school and is just repeating it.  It's true, it does get better.  You may never regain lost lung tissue, but the quality of life improves quite a bit.  I say this from experience  :)

[Soozie]

Hi Jacqui ... greetings from Australia  :)  

 

I don't believe there are different levels of addiction ... we are all addicted 100%, no matter whether we smoke 5 a day or 50 a day. No matter whether we have smoked for 5 years or 50 years. No matter whether we have a stressful life or an unstressful life. No matter whether we are sick or healthy. Rich or poor. We all have the same addiction. 

 

I used to be amazed that someone could quit for more than 9 months (that's my best so far) but now I'm not amazed because they are no different to me, so if they can do it so can I, and if I can do it then so can you ... Sue x

[Holski]

Hi,

I know for me, the anticipation of quitting way way scarier than once I quit. Once I quit, it was a big relief!

Doesn't mean it is always easy, just not scary!

:D

[Holski]

whoops

[Soozie]

Hi,

I know for me, the anticipation of quitting way way scarier than once I quit. Once I quit, it was a big relief!

Doesn't mean it is always easy, just not scary!

:D

me too Holski, I got a huge sense of relief when I quit ... one less thing in life to worry about !

[REZ]

I had never gave it an honest try before! 

 

i decided to give it a real honest 24 hour try and see how i feel!

 

i really started out with a quit for one day approach, a honest try for one day, and you know what, it was not that hard!

 

Take it one day at a time and soon the days add up to weeks and months!

 

The more you try the less you smoke anyway, so trying is better than not trying at all, so its all good!

 

Best of luck to you!

[Soozie]

Then I got the flu, this was not normal flu, this was proper MAN-FLU (!!). 

 

I think the fact that you survived man-flu is more impressive than quitting smoking ... my husband tells me that man only flu is the worst ever, my boys have also had it, so glad I'm not a man  ;)   :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[bakon]

Easy. Nope

Not one puff ever. No secret pill or trick. Got to want it and not light up. Quitin is hard as you want it to be. From uncomforatBle to painful to easy. Mind set. It won't kill you to quit. But your mind and what you think about it sets level of difficulty. Everyone misses it at first but soon your nose works again. Then you move to no cough or taste improves. If you can put missin it behind then move forward towards how it is getting better it will be easy. If you pout and sulk your in for a long road.

[Frezflops]

I use to think all those things and more.....couldnt do it---was too hard for me, this was a lie..........I like smoking it relieves my stress-this was a BIG lie...........eh I am going to die anyway might as well do what I want-this was a BIG stupid lie...........smoking calms me down-this was an illogical lie because nicotine "speeds" your heart up and not relaxing for your body at all, You need to wade through all the lies you are telling yourself and break through to the other side (its nice over here :) )......we all told ourselves some sort of lie to keep ourselves smoking to take the easy route but truly keeping smoking is not the easy route it is a hard route one I wouldnt wish on anyone.......only you can quit smoking for you .......it is quite honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself.

[El Bandito]

Hi Jacqui.

 

Congratulations on a fantastic daughter. A daughter who has taught me a thing or two about cracking on. 

 

I'm guessing that she is a chip off the old block.

 

You are smart enough to understand what smoking can do - hell you know that a lot better than me.

 

As smokers - we tell ourselves "I need a cigarette", "Oh I could do anything - but not give up my cigarette! It is my only comfort in a cruel world"

 

We tell ourselves these things because we need to believe them - if they were not true, then we wouldn't need to slowly kill ourselves would we?

 

Jacqui - just between you and me (don't let the folk on the message board see) it's a doddle.

 

Yeah there are cravings. Yeah you feel like pulling your hair out sometimes. Yeah for a few days you want to scream.

 

So - Crave, Pull your hair out, Scream.

 

In between times you feel fine. After a while, in between times get longer and longer. The tough moments get less tough and come less often.

 

In fact - you don't feel fine, you feel better than fine. You will start to see and feel little improvements. Hour by hour. Day by day.

 

You will feel FANTASTIC!

 

Your little girl will be as proud of you as you are of her. You will cry tears of joy together.

 

Your grandchildren will be over the moon that granny is going to stick around a while longer. (And doesn't stink of fags)

 

What will you do when you crave? 

 

Sip water. Suck a straw. Chew toothpicks. Eat sunflower seeds. Play the number game here. Play candy crush. Post here. Write your memoirs.

Do what you want - just DONT SMOKE. 1 minute at a time, 1 hour at a time, 1 day at a time.

 

I know that you can do this Jacqui. 

 

Come join us. It's fantastic to be free.

[Paul723]

It helped me to know that nicotine had rewired my brain to keep me addicted and that my body would fix this problem for me if I gave it some time.

[Evelyn]

Choking to death is more to fear then not smoking. I've seen my dad choke in a bloodclod after being diagnosed with lungcancer. He screamed for his mama. I myself have asthma and confront the fears of not smoking, the withdrawls rather then dying the same way my parents did.

[Still winning]

Thank you all, very much appreciated, cease fire as I have copied and pasted and sent :)  The meeting seems to have gone well. I am pleased the guy did a good job, using the term nicotine addict but going wholeheartedly down the nrt route.  But whatever works right?! I think Monday is the day but don't want to be too pushy by keep asking questions, I myself went introverted and planned mine alone.  But yey, even an attempt is a start right!  and never say never....

[El Bandito]

Hey Marti - NRT is the darling of the Health Service.

 

Personally - not my cup of tea. But whatever works! 

 

Already huge progress...you, hubby and now Mum..

 

LOOK OUT AYLESBURY!

[Still winning]

haha, saving aylesbury buckinghamshire one smoker at a time ;)  Might have to hit the streets.

[Doreensfree]

Hi ,

It's so important ,not to smoke with c.o.p.d......

My hubby didn't heed the warnings he is now,house bound on oxygen 16 hours every day....he carnt wash or dress himself,even the smallest of task leaves him wacked out......

You can so do this......

I too smoked a long time......I was scared how I would survive with out my little crutch.....

Nothing to be scared of,I love my smoke free life......I havnt felt so good in years.......

Throw the cigs out and come and join us.......we will support you

All my best

Doreen

[babs609]

Marti! Feeling so comfortable in my quit and living life happier inspired my mom to join me too! She's now been smober for almost 9 months I think!

If she can do it...your mum certainly can. Oh I really hopes she does it.

[Frezflops]

speaking of your mom Babs did you invite her over here? :)

[Still winning]

Me too, it would be so awesome to have a completely smoke free house for my girls, far less me! I'm keeping everything crossed but trying not to be pushy or feel too engaged in the outcome!!!  But wow, what if?!

[sherry]

Hi Marti... I quit by cutting back on the # of cigg's a  day, AND dropping/changing ciggs to lower and lower nic level's... not recommended by a lot of folks, but it worked for me and I was a 3-4 pk a day smoker at my "height" , talk about chain smoke'n !! :angry:.. so, I don't know  if  your mum's going go the "step down method" or version of it with the cession program, but I'd be happy to help anyway I can.  

[baffled]

I know you already sent it over but just tell her for me that I thought I was a special snowflake and could not quit.  It turns out I am just an ordinary snowflake (my mother lied to me)  and I could and did.   Someone needs to tell your mom that she is not a special snowflake either.  If I can do this, she can do this.

[leahcaR]

I know this is late but still:

 

Just like everyone else I thought I was special and more addicted than anyone else. I didn't even want to try because of how hard I thought it would be. But that's it...those scary things are only in your mind. They are made up. Years and years and years gave this addiction the power to feed you lies and false realities and after all that time you accept these things as fact as they seem to be all you know. But just know they are all fake flimsy obstacles that start falling down once you decide you are in control and that you will not be a slave to anything.

 

"I am not powerless" sometimes you have to keep saying that to yourself like a mantra. You'll start believing it, I promise. It wants you to think you are weak and it is in control. It is your mind do not let anything tell you that you are not in control of your life.