One Day At A Time

[Amy]

I have been eating like a pig- nice spread of Chinese food in front of me right now.  Pretty full but still I am eating. oh boy

So my fortune from my Chinese food "To effect the quality of the day is no small achievement"  really good one.

[sharonsiff]

Even if only for today NOPE eh Amy ;)

 

Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow is my motto.

[Amy]

I need a little help - there was a post or a blog called Executive Assistant....can't find it anywhere.  Really liked it and it made sense to me.  Does anyone know where it is?

[Paul723]

It can be found on the Whyquit.com website. It is another great place to learn from.

[Amy]

Okay- left earl this morning to go to 1st Communion. Did not sign on did not do my pledge and smoked today.  Is there a place here for a resident non smoker smoker?  I want to quit.  There are no excuses for me.  I read the button post and I am like do not press the button.. do not press the button.. over and over again but then I pressed the freaking button.  I am thinking I do way better when I can be on line with everyone.  By myself I suck.

 

Please don't get tired of me- I will figure this out and I will quit 100% the amount of cigarettes that I have not smoked since I signed up is amazing. I am starting again in the morning.

 

Has this only happened to me????  Is there anyone else out there that could not quit within the 1st month of trying????  Am I a idiot????

[...]

 

Has this only happened to me????

 

 

 

Heck NO !!!!

 

 

Is there anyone else out there that could not quit within the 1st month of trying????  

 

Yes, there are many of us.  But understand something.... its not that you "could" not quit...... your won't quit.  You can do it.  Never doubt that.  You CAN do this.  I promise.

 

 

 Am I a idiot????

 

Absolutely NOT !!!  Your a very smart woman.  However, your intelligence level has no role in this.  It takes education, determination and a willingness to do whatever it takes to quit.  

 

You CAN DO THIS !!! 

[Amy]

Thanks Tiffany,

 

I feel like I am on the merry go round now, ground hog day, revolving door.  And it is like don't let the door hit you in the ass.  I know that I have to quit for my health. You asked me if I really want to quit.  Will this eventually come?  Do I really want to quit that is a good question and I am not so sure of the answer.  I feel good not smoking.  I feel proud not smoking.  Maybe I need to write down how I feel when I do not smoke and keep this list with me instead of the reasons for quitting. This seems like it is taking me a bit of time and I am sorry for all of you who have to witness this.  I am not giving up my battle.  I will be a non smoker.  Good things do not always come easy you have to work for them and boy I am putting myself through some crap.

[sharonsiff]

Thanks Tiffany,

 

I feel like I am on the merry go round now, ground hog day, revolving door.  And it is like don't let the door hit you in the ass.  I know that I have to quit for my health. You asked me if I really want to quit.  Will this eventually come?  Do I really want to quit that is a good question and I am not so sure of the answer.  I feel good not smoking.  I feel proud not smoking.  Maybe I need to write down how I feel when I do not smoke and keep this list with me instead of the reasons for quitting. This seems like it is taking me a bit of time and I am sorry for all of you who have to witness this.  I am not giving up my battle.  I will be a non smoker.  Good things do not always come easy you have to work for them and boy I am putting myself through some crap.

Don't be sorry Amy, no doubt folk can remember that being them at one time I know I can.

 

Good idea about writing stuff down you know Amy. It can clear your head and act as a reminder/commitment. You sound torn about whether you want to quit or smoke, I can remember being that way, write out a list of why you want to quit and then a list of the stumbling blocks that's getting in the way. It might help you see on paper what's what as your mind must be spinning.

[Amy]

Hi Everyone!

 

Miss you all.  Here I am another Month has gone by and I have not quit.  I know that I cannot give up on my goal I just have to figure out how to back to being determined.  I am tired of quitting and smoking the cycle is relentless.  

 

I hope you all are well and keeping the great quits that you have going on. :)

[Tink]

Hi Everyone!

 

Miss you all.  Here I am another Month has gone by and I have not quit.  I know that I cannot give up on my goal I just have to figure out how to back to being determined.  I am tired of quitting and smoking the cycle is relentless.  

 

I hope you all are well and keeping the great quits that you have going on. :)

hi amy thats great you checking in I wish you wasnt smoking I wish you would grab the bull by the horns and get angry with smoking and kick the poop out of it but I could scream at you until I was blue in the face to no avail unless you want to quit - thats the bottom line

 

please just do yourself a favour stay around keep reading pm me if you want to, keep posting 

 

I know you got it in you to quit and when you realize you do - you will

 

keep lurking Amy and I wish you well :) xx

[MarylandQuitter]

Hi Everyone!

 

Miss you all.  Here I am another Month has gone by and I have not quit.  I know that I cannot give up on my goal I just have to figure out how to back to being determined.  I am tired of quitting and smoking the cycle is relentless.  

 

I hope you all are well and keeping the great quits that you have going on. :)

 

Sometimes people quit just because they want to stop killing themselves and really have no other reason to quit other than that.  If even they don't want to quit, they do it anyway because it's just time.

 

You're right, the cycle is relentless and vicious.  Sometimes when we know we must do something because it's the right thing for us to do but really would rather just put it off for another day, year or decade, we just have to say f*ck it and drive on.  Don't want to quit right now because you don't think you have the determination?  F*ck it and take care of business.  Got a crave?  Same thing.  Newness of the quit wore off?  Same thing.

 

That little saying is what I live by. lol  When things suck, get hard or wish I wasn't having to deal with something I just say f*ck it.  What else can you do sometimes?

 

F*ck it, just quit.

[Paul723]

One of the wonderful things about quitting is that your body will start to heal itself from the damage you are inflicting on it by smoking. You deserve to be free of this addiction.

[ChristaC]

You can do this, Amy! Don't give up... trust us, it's sooooo worth it!

[El Bandito]

Hey Amy

 

You are right. You need to be determined.

 

We can't be that for you.

 

I know that you have read lots of things, watched videos etc..so I am not sure if I can find the words that will prompt you...and it really annoys me, because I like to think I am good with words...

 

How about this? - let's talk about it.

 

Right now - you cannot commit to quitting smoking. OK.

 

Can you commit to coming here and posting every day and talking about it? Or is that too scary? 

 

I found the best way of continuing to smoke was to not engage in thought and conversation about smoking. The old 'head in the sand' approach. I used it very effectively for 20 years.

 

My old man used it very effectively until it killed him stone dead at 59. I miss him.

 

Is this the approach you are taking?

 

Amy - I understand that you are tired. I understand that quitting can seem relentless. I know that sometimes its just easier to not think about it.

 

Come here and post. Talk to us. Help us in our quits. It helps us when we post about our experiences, it reminds us why we quit and why we want to stay quit. 

[sherry]

Aw Amy... sorry to read this hon....but you had a good trial quit (s)....when you're ready to try again please come back, we'll be here... I know it's hard, and tiring and frustrating and... and... and... but the good news is the more often you try to quit the more you learn, the better you get at quitting - until one quit sticks, thats your sticky quit...

 

i believe you want to quit, ...and when you've got your second wind,... you'll come back  more determined then you think you can be right now. .. and we'll be here to help  :) 

[Amy]

Hey Amy

 

You are right. You need to be determined.

 

We can't be that for you.

 

I know that you have read lots of things, watched videos etc..so I am not sure if I can find the words that will prompt you...and it really annoys me, because I like to think I am good with words...

 

How about this? - let's talk about it.

 

Right now - you cannot commit to quitting smoking. OK.

 

Can you commit to coming here and posting every day and talking about it? Or is that too scary? 

 

I found the best way of continuing to smoke was to not engage in thought and conversation about smoking. The old 'head in the sand' approach. I used it very effectively for 20 years.

 

My old man used it very effectively until it killed him stone dead at 59. I miss him.

 

Is this the approach you are taking?

 

Amy - I understand that you are tired. I understand that quitting can seem relentless. I know that sometimes its just easier to not think about it.

 

Come here and post. Talk to us. Help us in our quits. It helps us when we post about our experiences, it reminds us why we quit and why we want to stay quit. 

El Bandito I can absolutely talk about it doing it is what seems to be an issue.  Sometimes I wonder if it is already too late maybe I already have lung cancer, COPD or some other smoking disease... My head is a block of wood when it comes to smoking. Every morning I wake up with the stupid smokers cough and say to myself I can't do this anymore and still continue to smoke.  I know the Sarge would say stop being a puss.... and just do it. Stop talking about it and just do it.. stop whining and just do it...Easy Peasy right?   Maybe I have to just do it.  My issue is I can't even make it through one day is half a day better than nothing?

[El Bandito]

El Bandito I can absolutely talk about it doing it is what seems to be an issue.  Sometimes I wonder if it is already too late maybe I already have lung cancer, COPD or some other smoking disease... My head is a block of wood when it comes to smoking. Every morning I wake up with the stupid smokers cough and say to myself I can't do this anymore and still continue to smoke.  I know the Sarge would say stop being a puss.... and just do it. Stop talking about it and just do it.. stop whining and just do it...Easy Peasy right?   Maybe I have to just do it.  My issue is I can't even make it through one day is half a day better than nothing?

It is absolutely never too late. 

 

At the start of a quit - it is about the next hour, the next half an hour, the next minute. Easy Peasy or not, mental or physical - the addiction is there. The addiction tells the addict to administer.

 

At times, I quit hour at a time - I would say out loud - "OK craving. I hear you. I am not going to smoke now. I will not smoke for an hour - then we will talk again." Then I would think about my reasons for quitting. I would think about my wife. (She is terrified that I will leave her alone) I promised her that I would do anything that I could to be there for her. Willfully contributing to my own death doesn't fit with that promise ;)

 

Have you written it down Amy? Have you actually got a pen and some paper and written down why you want to quit (at some point)?

 

One of the first things that I learned - was that I am in control. I can - if I want to, go to the store right now, buy some cigarettes and smoke them. Will the world stop turning? Will life as we know it - cease? Nope. The vast majority of the world won't know, won't notice and won't care. I am not going to go buy some and smoke them, because I choose not to. Nothing more, nothing less.

[ChristaC]

Amy... we may all die of a smoking related disease... BUT

 

We won't die as smokers.

 

But you know what? That's not even the point. The point is... how do we want to live the remainder of our lives? Do we want to be slaves... or free men and women?

 

I, for one, chose FREEDOM.

[action]

It's never too late.  I believe in you Amy.

[JackiMac]

Amy its never too late, we all remember those feelings of insecurity, we all remember being scared to stop, thats the addiction taking hold Amy, you are stronger than the addiction Amy but you have to want to quit, we are all here to help you on your quit journey, the only thing we can't do is make you stop, I feel like stamping my feet at you lol, because I know you can do this you quit before, stop being scared stop letting the addiction win Amy get up tommorow a non smoker thats all you have to do, wake up tommorow morning and repeat NOPE, every 5 minutes if you have too.  Big hugs to youxxx

[Jeanne Meier]

Hi Amy,

I have been in that boat, over and over (and over) again. I am going to reply to your message, which is the one that prompted me to join this forum. Then I am going to go to another topic area and ask people what is wrong with me that on day 5-1/2 I am thinking how much I really like smoking. I presume it's the addiction twisting my brain and have no plan to act on it, but need that little confirmation that my quit was not in vain - just to help prevent that possible slip up. This is not what I wanted to say in this thread though, so getting on with it.....

 

For me, with all of my five days, 11 hours and 49 minutes of being quit, what I can tell you is this - I got sick and tired of quitting. I finally quit quitting and quit. It was simple. Let's be honest here - do you really want to put yourself through H*ll for an hour or twelve hours or two days just to do it all over again?

 

After testing the waters by only buying one pack at a time and taking the drive to and walk into the store (shamed) to buy another pack I began making myself go to bed at night knowing I didn't have enough cigarettes to get through my morning coffee. Then I started allowing myself to run out in the middle of the day, I just would NOT buy more than one pack nor would I ration them, as after all, that (in all honesty) sucks much worse. Finally I held my own feet to the fire. I put it out there publicly that I was quitting smoking. Enough people asking me how it was going or seeing me fire a smoke up only to say, "Ha, though you were quitting", I reached a point that it was happening whether I was a willing participant or not. Wanna know the funniest part of it? It is not that hard - seriously - if you have your mind in the right perspective it is not that bad (not pleasant but not *that* bad).

 

I have been there Amy. Listen, I seriously know how it is to not be able to get through the day because you're fiending, but I also know that most of that horrid crave can be beat, it's in your brain. Anyway, for what it's worth, as I tried my on and off again quitting, this last time I did a few things different. It worked for me, perhaps it will work for you. I assume you have not quit since you haven't posted in this thread lately, so if that's the case please humor me and try this.....

 

Firstly, tell people that you are accountable (people that will notice) that you plan to quit. I think this is a must, because most people will do whatever they can so they do NOT look like they have failed at a task.

 

Second, from now on only buy one pack at a time, no matter what that means (more trips to the store, running out in the middle of the night, whatever). This helps by making you realize the inconvenience as well as giving you time to think as you schlep to the store and also lets you see day-by-day (or if you're like me, twice a day) the money you're spending, one pack at a time. It also helped me to calculate the cigarettes I have smoked this year (two packs a day ~40 cigarettes a day, times  30 days in a month, times six months). That's a rough calculation, but for me, that was 7,200 cigarettes. Think about that - SEVEN THOUSAND cigarettes in one-half of a year. The vision itself is quite the deterrent.

 

Third, before you go to bed the night before your full quit day you need to trash your cigarettes. This is hard to do but extremely empowering.  For me, if I had cigarettes I would smoke them no matter what. Gosh, once I stayed up til 3am because I couldn't bring myself to obliterate my good friend that has seen me thru thick and thin for the last 13 years but wanted to wake up to no cigarettes. However, when I did finally break them I gained a lot of strength, the power you feel is surreal. It's a sad but very rewarding moment. *Make sure you destroy them to a point that digging them out of the trash is an impossibility.

 

Fourth, when you go to bed at that night say your prayers, but don't ask God to curb your addiction, give you the willpower and stamina to quit or grant you the strength. Instead THANK him for curbing the addiction and giving you the strength, desire, willpower, etc. And remember the faith of a mustard seed.

Fourth, with your mind clear and refusing to let any other thoughts into your head read a list of affirmations, something like this:

 

I am healthy and refuse to smoke

Cigarettes are repulsive

I am free of smoking and nicotene withdrawals

I am healthy, happy and stressfree; my mood and temperment are stable

I am free of the very thought of smoking cigarettes

I am free of the very memory or connection of actions and smoking

I am now and forever smokefree

I hereby release myself from the need or desire to smoke

 

You can make up your own, but these were the ones that hit home with me. Just ensure that you do NOT use the word no, don't, won't or other negatives, as your subconscious cannot grasp those, so the negatives are not absorbed and you will root your addiction further. Read this list ten times. Turn the light out and while you doze off think of NOTHING else. You can keep saying these affirmations in your head if it doesn't keep you awake, but if it does just lay there and envision nothing, just blackness, or maybe yourself not smoking. The point of all of this is for your subconscious brain to hear these affirmation last.

 

 

Finally, in the morning when you get up and reach for your cigarettes remind yourself that  you don't do that anymore and let that be that. Do not allow your brain to focus or dwell on it, make yourself put a period after that thought and get onto the next order of business.

 

Even if you fail on this in the first try, I guarantee you, if you can even stay quit for half a day (12 hours), walking into your house or somewhere that smoking is permitted your determination will intensify beyond words at the first whiff. Do the same thing each night until you finally reach a point that you say it is just not worth it!

Finally - (if you're  still reading, I know this is long) some other things that I have learned.... Don't promise yourself you'll get some cigarettes later, because you will hold yourself accountable, so that kind of promise just sets yourself up for failure. Don't think you can just smoke one, even if you bum it - it doesn't work. Your body knows what to do with the nicotine, one hit and you're a smoker again, despite how sure you are that you won't go past that one drag. If you want to speed up the process get busy. I have learned that the nicotine seems to dissipate from my body quicker if I am active (yep, I was a professional quitter til this last round that I got tired of quitting). I realized if I am physically active (much more than normal) the cravings are lesser and gone faster. When you see someone smoking and your brain heads in the direction of wanting one stop it dead in its tracks - don't let your mind go there. When you see a cigarette pack envision those thousands of cigarettes smoked and how stupid the packaging and everything looks. And don't let yourself get too hungry! I have not been the proverbial chow-hound that people say they become when they quit, so I am seriously noticing that it's when I am hungry that I think about smoking.
 

No single method is a sure fit for anyone, but hopefully some of this post will help you. I self-sabotage constantly. Wish I knew why, but I suspect that's for a different forum entirely. However, taking a guess that perhaps you are doing the same thing, recognizing it will help you to stop doing that.

Good luck,
Jeanne

[Still winning]

Wow Jeanne, Youare all kinds of awesome!!  As is Amy in honesty.  Think it's time to introduce yourself on your own thread though. I think a new quit supports our older ones as much as that works in reverse. xx

 

Amy, Still got your back when you're ready chick!! xx

[action]

Hi Amy,

I have been in that boat, over and over (and over) again. I am going to reply to your message, which is the one that prompted me to join this forum. Then I am going to go to another topic area and ask people what is wrong with me that on day 5-1/2 I am thinking how much I really like smoking. I presume it's the addiction twisting my brain and have no plan to act on it, but need that little confirmation that my quit was not in vain - just to help prevent that possible slip up. This is not what I wanted to say in this thread though, so getting on with it.....

 

For me, with all of my five days, 11 hours and 49 minutes of being quit, what I can tell you is this - I got sick and tired of quitting. I finally quit quitting and quit. It was simple. Let's be honest here - do you really want to put yourself through H*ll for an hour or twelve hours or two days just to do it all over again?

 

After testing the waters by only buying one pack at a time and taking the drive to and walk into the store (shamed) to buy another pack I began making myself go to bed at night knowing I didn't have enough cigarettes to get through my morning coffee. Then I started allowing myself to run out in the middle of the day, I just would NOT buy more than one pack nor would I ration them, as after all, that (in all honesty) sucks much worse. Finally I held my own feet to the fire. I put it out there publicly that I was quitting smoking. Enough people asking me how it was going or seeing me fire a smoke up only to say, "Ha, though you were quitting", I reached a point that it was happening whether I was a willing participant or not. Wanna know the funniest part of it? It is not that hard - seriously - if you have your mind in the right perspective it is not that bad (not pleasant but not *that* bad).

 

I have been there Amy. Listen, I seriously know how it is to not be able to get through the day because you're fiending, but I also know that most of that horrid crave can be beat, it's in your brain. Anyway, for what it's worth, as I tried my on and off again quitting, this last time I did a few things different. It worked for me, perhaps it will work for you. I assume you have not quit since you haven't posted in this thread lately, so if that's the case please humor me and try this.....

 

Firstly, tell people that you are accountable (people that will notice) that you plan to quit. I think this is a must, because most people will do whatever they can so they do NOT look like they have failed at a task.

 

Second, from now on only buy one pack at a time, no matter what that means (more trips to the store, running out in the middle of the night, whatever). This helps by making you realize the inconvenience as well as giving you time to think as you schlep to the store and also lets you see day-by-day (or if you're like me, twice a day) the money you're spending, one pack at a time. It also helped me to calculate the cigarettes I have smoked this year (two packs a day ~40 cigarettes a day, times  30 days in a month, times six months). That's a rough calculation, but for me, that was 7,200 cigarettes. Think about that - SEVEN THOUSAND cigarettes in one-half of a year. The vision itself is quite the deterrent.

 

Third, before you go to bed the night before your full quit day you need to trash your cigarettes. This is hard to do but extremely empowering.  For me, if I had cigarettes I would smoke them no matter what. Gosh, once I stayed up til 3am because I couldn't bring myself to obliterate my good friend that has seen me thru thick and thin for the last 13 years but wanted to wake up to no cigarettes. However, when I did finally break them I gained a lot of strength, the power you feel is surreal. It's a sad but very rewarding moment. *Make sure you destroy them to a point that digging them out of the trash is an impossibility.

 

Fourth, when you go to bed at that night say your prayers, but don't ask God to curb your addiction, give you the willpower and stamina to quit or grant you the strength. Instead THANK him for curbing the addiction and giving you the strength, desire, willpower, etc. And remember the faith of a mustard seed.

Fourth, with your mind clear and refusing to let any other thoughts into your head read a list of affirmations, something like this:

 

I am healthy and refuse to smoke

Cigarettes are repulsive

I am free of smoking and nicotene withdrawals

I am healthy, happy and stressfree; my mood and temperment are stable

I am free of the very thought of smoking cigarettes

I am free of the very memory or connection of actions and smoking

I am now and forever smokefree

I hereby release myself from the need or desire to smoke

 

You can make up your own, but these were the ones that hit home with me. Just ensure that you do NOT use the word no, don't, won't or other negatives, as your subconscious cannot grasp those, so the negatives are not absorbed and you will root your addiction further. Read this list ten times. Turn the light out and while you doze off think of NOTHING else. You can keep saying these affirmations in your head if it doesn't keep you awake, but if it does just lay there and envision nothing, just blackness, or maybe yourself not smoking. The point of all of this is for your subconscious brain to hear these affirmation last.

 

 

Finally, in the morning when you get up and reach for your cigarettes remind yourself that  you don't do that anymore and let that be that. Do not allow your brain to focus or dwell on it, make yourself put a period after that thought and get onto the next order of business.

 

Even if you fail on this in the first try, I guarantee you, if you can even stay quit for half a day (12 hours), walking into your house or somewhere that smoking is permitted your determination will intensify beyond words at the first whiff. Do the same thing each night until you finally reach a point that you say it is just not worth it!

Finally - (if you're  still reading, I know this is long) some other things that I have learned.... Don't promise yourself you'll get some cigarettes later, because you will hold yourself accountable, so that kind of promise just sets yourself up for failure. Don't think you can just smoke one, even if you bum it - it doesn't work. Your body knows what to do with the nicotine, one hit and you're a smoker again, despite how sure you are that you won't go past that one drag. If you want to speed up the process get busy. I have learned that the nicotine seems to dissipate from my body quicker if I am active (yep, I was a professional quitter til this last round that I got tired of quitting). I realized if I am physically active (much more than normal) the cravings are lesser and gone faster. When you see someone smoking and your brain heads in the direction of wanting one stop it dead in its tracks - don't let your mind go there. When you see a cigarette pack envision those thousands of cigarettes smoked and how stupid the packaging and everything looks. And don't let yourself get too hungry! I have not been the proverbial chow-hound that people say they become when they quit, so I am seriously noticing that it's when I am hungry that I think about smoking.

 

No single method is a sure fit for anyone, but hopefully some of this post will help you. I self-sabotage constantly. Wish I knew why, but I suspect that's for a different forum entirely. However, taking a guess that perhaps you are doing the same thing, recognizing it will help you to stop doing that.

Good luck,

Jeanne

Great post - I am looking forward to seeing your introduction :)

 

And Amy, look, you inspired someone to join the site - please come back to us and tell us how you are doing!

[Jeanne Meier]

Hugglemonster and Members,

Thank you - sincerely, thank you!  I will hop back on here and post an intro shortly. I need to wrap up a website for a meeting tonight and then I will be free. I should also say thank you to Amy, as she did inspire me to join, and just reiterating everything gave me a taste of my own medicine and got me past that questionable hour or so. Thank you for having me and will post again soon,

Jeanne

[Still winning]

hugglemonster...not henry surely ;)  Off too hang head in shame at too much kids tv.....