Sometimes it is depressing.

[JB 883]

I was looking through some recent yet past posts...

There was one lady who was quit for almost a month but relapsed and has not been heard from since. Seems though it happens way too often. they come in, are hyped about the quit, everyone encourages them to stay quit, but then between week three and four - relapse.

 

I just think - why?

 

I imagine most quitters have had many failed quits, but doesn't that usually happen the first day instead of after 20+ days? You know like wake up the day of the Quit, go without a cigarette all morning but by lunch time - relapse.  I personally feel like those don't even merit being called a "Quit". All but one of my "Quits" in the past lasted four hours.

 

When I hit the three month mark, that is when my hardest battle came. I was rummaging some old magazines and of course every other page was for cigarettes. Triggered craves like i didn't even have during the first three days. What kept me from lighting up (besides not having smokes and not wanting to drive to the store) was thinking, "I made it this far so I know I can live without lighting up"

 

Like all of you, I wish I could somehow help the ones who cave in but aside typing words on a screen, we can do nothing.

I also sometimes wonder if being on a board that focuses mainly on smoking-related stuff makes them want to smoke again? I must admit that the only time a crave hits for me is if I am on here more than a little while.

 

thoughts?

 

[Sslip]

I think Boo wrote about it well when he talked about motivation being overrated. I can relate to tossing a quit after a few weeks because it can become a chore after the newness has worn off.

 

There's obviously a spark there if someone puts themselves through those first few weeks. What is a shame is that having slipped, that often becomes a full blown relapse, rather than a bump in the road. Hopefully in time they will be ready to rejoin us.

[Boo]

17 minutes ago, Sslip said:

I think Boo wrote about it well when he talked about motivation being overrated. I can relate to tossing a quit after a few weeks because it can become a chore after the newness has worn off.

 

Motivation is sexy but fickle.  Commitment is boring but steadfast.

 

Take advantage of motivation when you can, but depend on commitment.

 

1 hour ago, Jetblack said:

Like all of you, I wish I could somehow help the ones who cave in but aside typing words on a screen, we can do nothing.

I also sometimes wonder if being on a board that focuses mainly on smoking-related stuff makes them want to smoke again? I must admit that the only time a crave hits for me is if I am on here more than a little while.

 

The forum is a resource.  Every individual is responsible for their use of this resource.  We can point folks in the right direction, but they have to make the trip.

[Reciprocity]

Yes, in the end it's one's own personal commitment and remaining steadfast to that commitment no matter what comes at you! We can only advise, inform and console others. We can't quit for them.

 

I know that the relapse or at least the sudden disappearance issue was very noticable to me when I was doing celebrations because you follow each and every person every month. Hopefully it doesn't weigh too heavily on Jo as she has now taken on this important function.

Edited June 1, 2018 by reciprocity

[Martian5]

I agree what most have said.  I have only been on for 5 months and have seen several go by the wayside.  You have to be steadfast in your quit and use all resources of which Quit Train is one (to some of us a very important one).  This topic also can show how strong the pull of nicotine can be and each of us as individuals must make the commitment to take smoking off the table and realize that the journey can be long --- but what waits is so worth it.

[NADA]

Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better.

Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills.

Don't wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.

 

-- Jim Rohn

[jillar]

I used to get bummed too when members would suddenly relapse or just disappear. The hardest for me was the relapses because the SOS system had worked so good for me a couple different times. But as with anything you see enough times, you get used to the fact that some will fall through the cracks and succumb to this addiction. Hopefully when they're ready they'll be back....

[Betsy]

I’ve just passed my five year mark. These boards were so important to me in the beginning. I spent a year stuck to the computer reinforcing why I quit and why I never wanted another puff. 

 

Im only confessing the following because I don’t know why it happened. About four months ago I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked one. It stunk, my fingers smelled awful and I thought the dizziness would make me faint. I gave the rest of the pack away to a neighbor and have no further urge to smoke. I had a lot of thoughts having that one cigarette. Why did I do that for 45 years, how did I get so addicted, and why did I have even that one after almost five years?

 

Thanks so much for still having this forum. I miss all the travelers down this road and still claim non-smoker as my status. 

[Wayne045]

I didn't join a forum (or lurk) until I was almost a year quit.   

 

Before quitting I was researching methods on quitting and no doubt this forum came up #1 or #2 in most searches, but I saw the word forum and passed on by as I was looking for scientific studies on Chantix, NRT, and the like.   I know now that all that information could be found on these forums, plus the wisdom and experiences of people who have actually used them.   This information would have been extremely helpful in preparing for my quit, but I don't think I could've joined in the daily discussions early on.    If I was constantly reading about, talking about, and thinking about quiting smoking, it would make me want to smoke.   Best to put it out of sight, out of mind as much as possible.

 

So when someone disappears, I want to believe they just can't deal with the constant reminder, even if it is positive reinforcement of their quit.

[Reciprocity]

W045 - what you say is true in some cases. I know that for a fact as people have come back and just announced that they can not continue to be forum members because it just reminds them of the fact that they are addicts and they want to disassociate themselves from everything that is smoking. Hey; we are all different with individual motivators so it's all good providing we all stay quit!

[Doreensfree]

We are addicts...some of us still do what addicts do....

I have said I see quitting as the Hokey kokey..you have to put your whole self in...

Those that join ,never post ,just dissapear.... Have one foot in and one foot out...they want to quit....but are not a hundred per cent committed.,

They havn,t the knowledge..the skills...

I do get upset when one of our soldiers lose thier battle ,after a they have a good quit going...I think this is due to still believing they missing out on something..a friend !!!

Again this is due to lack of knowledge....

Those that post a SOS ,deep down want to be rescued...and most do keep thier precious quit...

It's true ,we can only give the tools...they have to still do the work...getting across that the discomfort is short lived ,is the hardest part..

 

[Doreensfree]

7 hours ago, Betsy said:

I’ve just passed my five year mark. These boards were so important to me in the beginning. I spent a year stuck to the computer reinforcing why I quit and why I never wanted another puff. 

 

Im only confessing the following because I don’t know why it happened. About four months ago I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked one. It stunk, my fingers smelled awful and I thought the dizziness would make me faint. I gave the rest of the pack away to a neighbor and have no further urge to smoke. I had a lot of thoughts having that one cigarette. Why did I do that for 45 years, how did I get so addicted, and why did I have even that one after almost five years?

 

Thanks so much for still having this forum. I miss all the travelers down this road and still claim non-smoker as my status. 

 

Thanks Betsy.. ..

This was another great reminder for me..to always be on my guard..that nico monster is never too far away..

[Ren]

My 2 cents - 

 

I don't think I would have made it through the first month without this forum. 

 

Now coming here makes me think about smoking (maybe more than I would have otherwise that day) but I'm not thinking about how I WANT one. I'm thinking about how addicted I used to be and how happy I am that it's at least easier than it was to resist a craving. 

 

Also, I was extremely excited to get my one and two month marks acknowledged here!!! Like I posted elsewhere, when people in my face-to-face life don't care that I've quit anymore, this place gives me the validation and encouragement I very much need to stay quit!! I can imagine it would get depressing if you're the one tracking everyone's quit...but it really made a difference to me  

 

xoxoxo