Bank Loan-Repost by jwg

[jillar]

Posted 07 December 2013 - 10:07 PM

just another one for fun I thought I would "bump"

Quote

 

Please have a seat sir,

and we'll go over your application.

 

All right, thanks.

 

So ,..you want to take out a loan with us today.

 

Yes sir, that’s correct.

 

You’ve stated on the application, you are wanting to buy a carton of cigarettes.

 

Yeah, it’s crazy, the price of cigarettes are killing me these days.

 

The price? Is killing you – that’s funny! I thought it was the smoking.

Regardless , to secure this loan you are going to have to put up something for collateral.

 

Um, my truck – it’s a good running truck, I have the title to it.

 

Ah, no – we’re going to need something a bit more significant.

 

 M, ,, m,, My house?

 

No we were more thinking your liver.

 

MY LIVER

 

Well your lungs are shot, they’re worthless. It’s obvious you’ve got no brains,

or you would not be smoking, never mind trying to borrow money to kill yourself!

Have you thought about a burial plot, we have good interest rates on those this week!

 

A burial plot? I’m not dead yet!

 

…Yet…

 

 

What?

 

Nothing. So just sign here on this line and we will get the ball rolling.

 

So does this mean I get the loan?

 

No this is just to get an appraisal on your liver to make sure you have not destroyed that too.

 

Get my liver appraised - are you crazy?

 

Do you want the loan or not?

 

Do they have to cut it out, to appraise it? Or just look at it like with an

ultrasound?

 

Oh no, they cut it out, weigh it, measure it, etc etc.

 

Does it hurt bad?

 

Oh yes, very painful.

 

Could I get two cartons?

 

How many livers have you got?

 

I’m married - can I have a co-liver signer?

 

Wow - how long have you been without a cigarette?

 

24 hours.

 

Great…come back in two days and we can talk more about your loan.