People who died or got ill because of smoking

[lml]

My Dad had a heart attack when he was 70. He had smoked since he was 15. The doctors first tried the baloon procedure, but the next day they had deflated ( don't remember the exact medical terms). They were planning bypass surgery for the following day. The doctor came in and found my dad sneaking a cig in the bathroom. He told my dad that if he continued smoking, he would not do the surgery, but he would give him a gun to shoot himself, as it was the same as smoking. My Dad never smoke another cig after that. He did get cancer 12 years later and died at age 85. 

 

My one sister has asthma; my mom had breathing difficulties and heart irregularities. Back in those days, it was ok to Smoke in house and car with Windows closed in winter. Sigh...second hand?

 

I helped care for both my parents in their last year. My daughter told me that if I have serious medical problems because of smoking, she will not take care of me the way I did for my parents. Need to add that my daughter is a wonderful daughter and we have a great relationship, but she hates me smoking and killing myself.

 

Sigh...and I "want" to Smoke a cigarette right Now? I am such a stupid addict; it really sucks.

Edited May 18, 2018 by lml

[jillar]

I too lost my father to smoking related cancer as well as an uncle, his younger brother, within two years of each other. So I can totally relate to your post lml. My uncle died first in 2000 followed by my dad in 2002. Sadly my uncle had quit smoking a year or two before he was diagnosed. My dad on the other hand had a lit cigarette in the ashtray when the ambulance came to take him for his final ride

im sorry about your family members, I was raised like you were. Smoking was everywhere. 

just remember that wanting isn't doing. This addiction is brutal and very hard at times, especially for us older folks but it is doable. You are doing great And thank you for sharing.....

Edited May 18, 2018 by jillar

[Reciprocity]

My father also died largely because of smoking. I remember he had to sleep sitting up to breathe well enough to sleep. How sad is that? He had to be on oxygen for the last years of his life. I know he regretted having been a smoker and never really quitting (went to cigars after cigarettes). My sister also died from a combination of smoking & drinking herself to death. Now SHE was an addict!!! I cleaned her house out and her bedroom was absolutely disgusting with brown goo literally running down her walls. My God! I've never seen anything more disgusting If her walls were like that ..... what did her lungs look like?

 

Yes, you may feel like smoking lml. Your quit is still young. Think about what smoking does to us though and to our loved ones and maybe the urge to light one up will fade a little. If you stay with your quit for long enough, it certainly will ease and you will be happy that you stayed true to your commitment not to smoke!

[PeaceTrain]

My former boss, mentor and friend, who retired last year, quit smoking a couple of years ago after complications during hip replacement surgery. She now has lung cancer and will be having surgery on Tuesday to remove the tumor which fortunately is small and contained.  This is devastating news to all of us who love her but we're keeping positive and have high hopes she will make a full recovery. Please keep her in your prayers if that's something you do.  

 

My only aunt died of emphysema about 20 years ago. She was a lifelong smoker and a raging alcoholic. Despite being on oxygen, ashtrays with half smoked cigarettes were found inside cabinets and closets in her apartment when we cleaned it out after she died. She was a hard core addict right to the end.. She was a negative force in my life; I do not miss her. 

[notsmokinjo]

The first time I remember someone dying was my Aunty (who was really my dad's aunty) and she had never smoked a day in her life, what she did was live in a pokey little house with my Uncle who chain smoked... she died from lung cancer... and around that time all my aunties and uncles who were smokers quit... that left my Grandad and his buddies.. I loved my grandad.. he is what a real man is, how many men from his generation believed that women and men were equal in most things and the only thing that was womens work was having babies and the only thing that was mens work was war because women are too important for that... oh and heavy lifting, not because women are weaker but because they are biologically different and men need to feel special about something at least... anyway here I was on the other side of the country, and he is in a hospital loosing his decades long battle with emphysema ... he gave up smoking both ciggies and his pipe in the mid 80s... he died in the 95, on father's day, the day after his 75th birthday. On the Sunday night when I phoned home for me weekly chat with my dad and little sisters my mum told me he had died that morning... and what do you do to mourn your grandfather's death when your 18 and on the other side of the country??? You go out with ya mates, get shit faced and smoke your very first ever of way too many cigarettes.. now that my fellow quitters right there is the definition of stupidity. I don't think I'll ever not be angry at myself for that.

[jillar]

@notsmokinjo please don't be angry with yourself. I continued to smoke for another 16 years after my family's first smoking related death. And continued after my breathing started suffering. We can't change the past, we can only learn from it. You were only 18, forgive yourself and be proud that you've quit now

Edited May 18, 2018 by jillar

[JB 883]

I imagine for someone who is on their death bed from a smoking related problem or even just in really bad shape -

They probably never fathomed it could happen. Back when they were kids experimenting with cigarettes.

 

But as far as illness and death -

 

About 1984 or 85, my step dad had some kind of illness from smoking. I remember breakfast one Sunday when my dad was sitting there wheezing. My step mom was insisting he go to the doctor, he argued but finally gave in. Doctor told him that if he kept smoking, he would not leave the hospital alive next time. 33 years later, he is still around and still keeping the quit.

 

Also close to the same time, maybe a couple years before, one of my step dad's co-workers lived in our neighborhood, the same building in fact. When I was real little, i would go over and visit him and his wife. They were about mid-50's maybe. The husband, Bill, died of lung cancer from smoking. I remember my dad showing me the article in the company news letter. Of course my dad preached about the dangers of smoking.

Another death was late 1980's when my dentist died of some kind of smoking cause.

In both those cases, it just seemed like it was almost overnight.

 

I guess Bill would be passed away at this point regardless but I kind of miss him and his wife. They were "cool" grown-ups who were not going to bitch at me or treat me like an unwanted step child.

 

lml, it is unclear if you relapsed or not but if so, you NEED to quit. There are people in your life that want you to be around for a longer time than what a smoker might last. Smoking just robs us of everything. Even non-smokers sometimes have to suffer because of a smoker's habit.

[despair not]

JWG. I never knew him but reading his posts on QSMB touched me I felt like I knew him . He described his illness and the cancer that killed him. Its a shame he was lost to smoking and his posts were lost to new quitters with the demise of QSMB.

[Sslip]

@lml you're right, it's the common thing that binds us here, we are all addicts.

 

Grandad, lost both legs to smoking related illness before it took him. 

Nan, didn't smoke and lived a long life. She seemed spiteful though and I couldn't relate to her. I never wanted to be like her. 

Grandad smoked all his life, died unrelated to smoking. 

Nan, smoked all her life, died young in her early 60s of smoking related illness. 

Dad, smoked all his life, massive heart attack in his early 50s, died. 

Mum, still around but suffering from the after effects of smoking for around 30 odd years before quitting about 20 years ago. She is thankfully in reasonable shape. 

 

I know the physical ramifications, if you smoke it is likely to get the better of you in the end. My addict self let me ignore the evidence right in front of my face for the longest time. 

[Doreensfree]

I'm have in the last month ,lost my life long friend (64 years ) to Pancreatic Cancer...Smoking being the main cause...

She was 69 years old....

She smoked up to a couple of days before she died..

I tried my best to get her a seat on the train...but she told me she liked smoking ,and didn't want to quit...

I will die a smoker she told me...sadly she did....

I hate this addiction !!!!

[Doreensfree]

2 hours ago, despair not said:

JWG. I never knew him but reading his posts on QSMB touched me I felt like I knew him . He described his illness and the cancer that killed him. Its a shame he was lost to smoking and his posts were lost to new quitters with the demise of QSMB.

John was  one of the most wonderful  people ,I have encounted....

His writings were magical...and it was a great shock to those who knew him,when he wrote about his illness....

I'm sure he will stay in our hearts forever...and is sadly missed ...

[lml]

Quote

I hate this addiction !!!!

 My addict self let me ignore the evidence right in front of my face for the longest time. 

She was a hard core addict right to the end

This addiction is brutal and very hard at times

 it's the common thing that binds us here, we are all addicts.

 

Sometimes, I wonder if my being an addict is karma...lol. I always thought that people who were addicted to anything were weak, didn't want to quit, dumb, chose their addiction over life, etc. I see that I was judgemental, because now, I understand that I don't know a thing about addiction, but I am learning.  And I want and thank you all for your words of advice and help. You have walked and fought a path I do not know. So please, if I am going off the proven path, please let me know. I want to be free of this addiction.  I read and contemplate what you write. So much help... 

 

 

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just remember that wanting isn't doing. 

 

Thanks jillar. I remember. But I just don't understand why I think I want a cigarette sometimes. I have to remember not to overthink it and just tell it, no, I want to live. 

I am sorry about your family members. 

 

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Think about what smoking does to us though and to our loved ones and maybe the urge to light one up will fade a little. If you stay with your quit for long enough, it certainly will ease and you will be happy that you stayed true to your commitment not to smoke!

 

Thanks reciprocity. I am sorry about your dad and sister. 

While last night, I was in a little bit of a tissy, this morning I am so happy that I stayed true to my commitment not to smoke. Sometimes, just coming here and writing about my tissy, keeps me from doing it. I write my thoughts and confusion and get it out there. And as I am writing here, it begins disipating. Then I read responses and I am beginning to grasp how much everyone here really have a dedication to helping others QUIT! 

 

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Please keep her in your prayers if that's something you do.

 

Sorry about your boss PeaceTrain. I send thoughts of healing  and a full recovery for your boss out to the universe. 

 

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and what do you do to mourn your grandfather's death when your 18 and on the other side of the country??? You go out with ya mates, get shit faced and smoke your very first ever of way too many cigarettes.. now that my fellow quitters right there is the definition of stupidity. I don't think I'll ever not be angry at myself for that.

 

Hugs to you Jo. Sorry about your relatives. 

 

This made me think of a song I loved back during those days... Those were the days my friend, we thought they'ed never end, we'd sing and dance forever and a day.  

And it also made think of the Egyptian Tree of Life. There are many branches on a tree and each branch has a bird sitting on it, looking out over the land. You would progress from the lowest brach to the highest branch looking to the right as you aged, then you begin progressing from the highest brach to the lowest branch  looking to the left as you further aged. Each time the bird (you) progressed to the next branch, you see things completely different than you did when you were on previous branch and you gain new experiences.  At age 18, most  do not see nor have not experienced life and love to give them the understanding they have later in life;  And are we ready for the next experience until we have gone through the previous? 

 

 

Will continue this thread later...Thank you each and everyone of you for sharing your losses. I am so sorry for you losses. 

Edited May 18, 2018 by lml

[Cbdave]

G'day

 The thing that most struck me about JWG is that even though he got cancer after he gave away the smokes, he never just gave in and went back and smoked! 

As a smoker yes I would have said , what tha. And died with a cig in my stupid head. 

But I'm not! A Smoker! 

Thanks. JWG. 

Chris

 

[lml]

Quote

lml, it is unclear if you relapsed or not but if so, you NEED to quit. There are people in your life that want you to be around for a longer time than what a smoker might last. Smoking just robs us of everything. Even non-smokers sometimes have to suffer because of a smoker's habit.

 

Thanks jet. While in the past, my daughter has tried to express how negatively my smoking has her, I didn't hear it. Now, those things that she has said throught the years resounds loud and clear in my mind. While I did not smoke in front of her, she suffered from it - mentally and emotionally. She knew I was an addict because of my constant need and tried to tell me. She is just thrilled I QUIT and is so supportive. I have not relapsed (only in my mind sometimes) and understand more and more as days go by, that I NEED to quit - thank you for the reminder. Glad to read your Dad quit and lived a long and healthy life. 

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JWG. I never knew him but reading his posts on QSMB touched me I felt like I knew him . He described his illness and the cancer that killed him. Its a shame he was lost to smoking and his posts were lost to new quitters with the demise of QSMB.

 

John was  one of the most wonderful  people ,I have encounted....

His writings were magical...and it was a great shock to those who knew him,when he wrote about his illness....

I'm sure he will stay in our hearts forever...and is sadly missed ...

 

Despair not and Doreen, Sorry about the loss of JWG.  

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My addict self let me ignore the evidence right in front of my face for the longest time. 

Shane, Sorry about your relatives.  I ignored/denied so much in life regarding smoking. 

 

3 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

die a smoker ...

I too, so hate this addiction Doreen. So sorry for your loss. I had a discussion with my daughter this week. Because we can have some discussions without my "need" for a nicotine fix take precedence so many times throughout the years, I told her that for the first time in my life, I would gladly go through the withdrawl even if I knew I had weeks left to live. I don't need to say, hold that I thought, I want a cig and will be right back; like she was just going to wait in suspension for me.  As a result of not "wanting/needing" a cig every hour,  we have been able to connect without being interrupted. Amazing...that I gave THAT up for cigarettes.  

 

 

[Reciprocity]

You are already starting to reap the benefits of quitting lml. Aside from not smelling of cigarettes, look at the freedom you have already gained. Freedom to sit and talk with your daughter without having to run out for a smoke. For me, I think that has been the greatest benefit of quitting. Free to do what I want when I want for as long as I want. I no longer bow down to the demands of nicotine

[JimHannoonen]

You're lucky. My Dad died (from lung cancer) at the ripe old age of 56. Smoked 2-4 packs a day since he was 13. Smoked until the day they  put him in the hospital to die.

 

[Doreensfree]

lml..I wish I could transport you to a few months time..to show you how wonderful things will look so different..but ..sadly...I carnt..

I can only tell you..how wonderful being smoke free will feel...

Stay sitting on the train....soon enough you will l feel it !! X

[Doreensfree]

3 minutes ago, JimHannoonen said:

You're lucky. My Dad died (from lung cancer) at the ripe old age of 56. Smoked 2-4 packs a day since he was 13. Smoked until the day they  put him in the hospital to die.

 

So sad.!!!...

All these lovely folks takin ..way before thier time...

NOPE !!!

[Whispers]

I lost my mother to lung cancer, she was smoking 3 packs a day at the high end of her smoking. She had quit smoking at age 62, developed emphysema at 66 and lesion in lung 2 months before her 71st birthday. It had doubled in size in 3 months and she wasn't strong enough for any of the options. Cancer sucks

[Christian99]

My brother died from lung cancer at age 41.  It was a terrible death, made even worse by his inability to quit and, hence, his profound sense of guilt and shame, which we were unable to ameliorate.  His 39 year-old wife (also a smoker, though not ill from it) took her own life two hours after he died.  

 

My mother quit smoking when she was 61; she developed esophageal cancer at 69 and died at 70.

 

Christian99

16 1/2 Years Quit 

[lml]

Jim, whispers and christian,  My deepest condolences on your losses. 

 

And to everyone:

 

Doreen says it so well: 

 

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So sad.!!!...

All these lovely folks takin ..way before thier time...

NOPE !!!

 

 

[lml]

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lml..I wish I could transport you to a few months time..to show you how wonderful things will look so different..but ..sadly...I carnt..

I can only tell you..how wonderful being smoke free will feel...

Stay sitting on the train....soon enough you will l feel it !! X

 

I am glued to my seat Doreen . 

 

I  humbly bow  to you all in appreciation for the invite, acceptance and support. 

 

And for the first time in my life, I am learning patience. This is something I have to go THROUGH. I may be sometimes be dense in this area, but eventually it gets through to me. 

 

And saz, I think I am beginning to understand what you talked about. There is an emotional side to it that I am dealing with now, that I did not expect at all. Very, very cathartic. 

 

And I am beginning to BELIEVE in the promise of a better life you all are so generous to share with me. I CHOOSE to trust you all, as I am now free to do so. 

[NADA]

• Mother (71) Colon, lung, liver, brain cancer  2 PK/day 26 years
• Father (73) Congestive heart failure  3 PK/day for 56 years
• Brother (58) COPD  2 PK/day for 41 years

In my family, smoking equals illness, pain, and death.

[lml]

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In my family, smoking equals illness, pain, and death.

 

So sorry for all your losses BKP. 

Edited May 18, 2018 by lml

[JB 883]

Not sure how to say this but i kind of wish this thread was not created.

 

It isn't exactly a fun or feel-good thread like most around here but who knows, maybe some people need this kind of reality jolt.

 

10 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

I'm have in the last month ,lost my life long friend (64 years ) to Pancreatic Cancer...Smoking being the main cause...

She was 69 years old....

She smoked up to a couple of days before she died..

I tried my best to get her a seat on the train...but she told me she liked smoking ,and didn't want to quit...

I will die a smoker she told me...sadly she did....

I hate this addiction !!!!

 

It does suck but I guess she decided to die on her own terms, even if that meant a rotten way to go. Passing on is probably never a fun experience, probably always painful but how many people get to choose the method of their own demise?

What i cannot even imagine is what it is like losing a friend of 65 years. You two were probably scared together in pre-school and grew up to be seniors together.

For hating the addiction, yes. who among us can say they do not hate it. Some quit smoking cause they get pissed off at the cigarettes.

 

So Doreen, you do not seem to be around as much, how are things going in real life with everything?