In this for the long haul...

[lml]

I try to learn things from what I experience everyday; why am I experiencing a situation? What  can I learn or what do I need to learn?  And while there is so much nonsense that I cannot make sense of that I experience as a result of having quit smoking, sometimes it is my  "overthinking"  that keeps it from making sense.  

 

So today, I think simply put, I am an addict.   If I leave it at that, my  smoking behavior makes "sense". And it makes "sense" how I became  addicted because I have become a little bit educated on the addictive properties of nicotine. Yet, since I am also "me", more than an addict, the me who was kept in the dark for many, many years, but who is now seeing the light - I cannot make sense of why I (or anyone)  I believed my addicted persona's lies for so long.

 

Was it a self-esteem problem? ummm---I always thought I had great self esteem (Afraid and too weak to quit without nicotine's help...lol - there I go overthinking - too much for right now.)

So for now, it is enough for me to understand and accept that I am a nicotine addict!  Today, I will not overthink it and go down rabbit holes; I will just not smoke. Eventually, if it is important in my journey, I may understand the whys behind things, but for now, I will “take heart” and persevere. I am stronger than a crave.  If I need help, I do believe you have my back and are in tune to things that may beginning to make me question myself. 

 

My quit is new, fragile and precious. I cannot get complacent. I QUIT and will "just not smoke" - it is not an option. 

 

I need to remember this may be a lifetime battle for me.

 

Thank you all. I got this battle for now and need to take heart and prepare for more to come.

[despair not]

Hi Iml

 

Your dong well for Now think one day at a time each hour day week is a great success

[notsmokinjo]

^^... the big picture is good but Notski is write, one day at a time... just focus on that... all the navel gazing (introspective analysis) is wasted energy, especially early on.. save your energy for what you need to worry about, not what might be... and definately not what was... because you can't change the past but you can live today... and today you don't smoke.

[Suz916]

Good for you we could all analyze to death but you are right , just don’t smoke ! We all are addicts and it is enough for now to just not smoke  have a great day

[Sazerac]

2 hours ago, lml said:

I try to learn things from what I experience everyday; why am I experiencing a situation? What  can I learn or what do I need to learn?  And while there is so much nonsense that I cannot make sense of that I experience as a result of having quit smoking, sometimes it is my  "overthinking"  that keeps it from making sense.  

 

So today, I think simply put, I am an addict.   If I leave it at that, my  smoking behavior makes "sense". And it makes "sense" how I became  addicted because I have become a little bit educated on the addictive properties of nicotine. Yet, since I am also "me", more than an addict, the me who was kept in the dark for many, many years, but who is now seeing the light - I cannot make sense of why I (or anyone)  I believed my addicted persona's lies for so long.

 

Was it a self-esteem problem? ummm---I always thought I had great self esteem (Afraid and too weak to quit without nicotine's help...lol - there I go overthinking - too much for right now.)

So for now, it is enough for me to understand and accept that I am a nicotine addict!  Today, I will not overthink it and go down rabbit holes; I will just not smoke. Eventually, if it is important in my journey, I may understand the whys behind things, but for now, I will “take heart” and persevere. I am stronger than a crave.  If I need help, I do believe you have my back and are in tune to things that may beginning to make me question myself. 

 

My quit is new, fragile and precious. I cannot get complacent. I QUIT and will "just not smoke" - it is not an option. 

 

I need to remember this may be a lifetime battle for me.

 

Thank you all. I got this battle for now and need to take heart and prepare for more to come.

 

This is really good, Iml.  

Admitting that we are nicotine addicts is the crucial step and you are so right, 

everything makes sense when you realize how addiction works.

 

Sometimes smoking hides other issues that we can deal with quite easily when the addiction is put to rest,

often,  issues are intricately connected to the addiction and untangle themselves as our quits progress.

 

The whole process of quitting smoking, I and many here,  have found quite enlightening.

It has been interesting adventuring inside my head with a new, more truthful paradigm.

Once I admitted to being an addict, I could no longer fool myself about other things.

 

Addiction robs us of self esteem, self respect and destroys our trust in ourselves,

all of which are quickly restored by living smoke free.  This is a kind miracle, we were such wretches.

 

"I need to remember this may be a lifetime battle for me.", Iml.

 

It is a lifetime commitment to never take another puff but, it will not be a lifetime battle.

Things get easier, it won't be on your mind all the time like it may be now.

Your patterns will change, the seasons will come and go.

 

You will remain vigilant, of course, and protective

but, this won't be requiring the same level of ferocity.

Smokey thoughts turn from full on aggressive horrors to aggravating gnats and then transform into vague fragments of dust you hardly ever see.

 

Stay your course,   You  have already won the war, you quit smoking

these minor skirmishes will soon fade into oblivion forever.

 

 

Edited May 17, 2018 by Sazerac

[Cbdave]

G'day

Not One Puff.....

E very min when they come thick and fast.

E very hour like they want from you. 

E very day....

EVER. I get to admit that I'm an addict and I do every day. It's bitter/ sweet.

Bitter that I ever did smoke. Never forget that rage!

SWEET. It really does get better.

chris

 

 

[lml]

Thank you everyone, for your encourgement and words of hope once more.  I feel like a toddler learning to walk, but for some dang reason...at this age, I like a toddler learning new things, NEED this. 

 

 

 

[Doreensfree]

17 minutes ago, lml said:

Thank you everyone, for your encourgement and words of hope once more.  I feel like a toddler learning to walk, but for some dang reason...at this age, I like a toddler learning new things, NEED this. 

 

 

 

I remember writing the exact thing.!!!..I'm like a toddler having to learn all over again...

I didn't know how to be a adult,without my crutch...

The more I did something smoke free...the more it came the norm...now I do everything ,and the thought of smoking is well forgotten...

Be patient and kind to yourself..the magic will happen 

It happens ..one day at a time !!!!