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[DVredux]

So I made it to the 1 month mark! Yay!

 

But I do not want to write about celebrations right now. My post is about the last 2 days, which have been exceptionally tough. It is as if the addiction is playing tag with my conscience. Round and round they go with my feeble self hanging in the middle, at times by nothing less than a thread. It started on Wednesday mid afternoon and was so bad that I had to take a personal half day, and a leave on the following day (Thursday). I used up all my arsenal but nothing worked. At times I caught myself sitting upright on the bed looking at the ceiling, and there were times when I was talking to myself, encouraging me bent over the kitchen sink. Last night I went through two huge Cadbury's candy bars along with gulping coffee, which I used to diffuse the craves (Hell I was reaching out for anything). Sleepless, tired, anxious and irritated, that has been the story of the past two days. In the past 48 hours I have cried, thought about punching the wall or hurting myself to see if the pain helped, ran so hard that my legs cramped up, paced about at 3 in the morning. I am just glad I came out strong.

 

Now I am not writing a memoir or sharing a day in the life of (in this case, 2 days), I am sharing this for two reasons or realities rather. The first one being the reality of the crave. People think that after 15 days or 25 days or their quit, they are out in the clear. This is when the crave strikes, when you have dropped your guard. No Matter how long you are in your quit, the lesson is not to drop your guard! The second one is the reality of addiction. I have always considered myself to be a strong man, but the quit has broken me down in so many ways. This shows how submissive you have been to the addiction throughout that even when you have quit, you are at its mercy. Therefore never lost out on your resolve.

 

Take care, keep safe and stay quit!

[Doreensfree]

Hi DV....

First congrats on your fabulous one month smoke free...!!!!!

As smokers we fed ourselves a crap load of chemicals every day..for decades....

Your body and brain is kinda confused...it's having to function in a entirely different way....

They call quitting a journey of up and downs....this is for sure...

Be patient and kind  to yourself.....the magic will happen.......

Keep telling yourself..how amazing you are... Grabbing this addiction and kicking it's butt !!!!

[notsmokinjo]

Oh DV, how sucky that you had a crap ending to your first month. What a great day for you to make this post though, take all the power that today offers and May the Fourth be with you.

 

Ok seriously this quitting thing is a roller coaster and you have handled the last two days just fine. You got through it and you can shore up your reserves for whatever the next hurdle may be because you are right there will be more but each one we get stronger and the addiction gets weaker. Keep your memory of the past two days close for now and remember this horror if you feel like turfing your quit because none of us ever want to go through that again.

[beazel]

First & foremost, so happy you are through month 1.

 

The experiences of the quit are ever changing, and I have many phrases that help me through.

 

My big one has been Smoking Is Not An Option. Simple.

 

I have talked to myself & fought with myself more in the past year than I care to think about!

 

But, at month 11 and beyond, the thought that gets me through the most is I DO NOT want to go through this again! Period.

 

So I agree with Jo to keep the past 2 days in your memory arsenal - those 2 days just may save your quit down the road at a particularly bad moment.

 

Stay tough....cause you are!!!!

 

KTQ

[Cbdave]

Gday

mate you are a month quit. Time to stop fighting.

You have earnt a rest. It's time. The beast says"you must" "you alawys"yo can't"this is the way"" it's always been".

Simple don't argue. Just say NO. Don't smoke.I don't smoke.

Do Not Ague with a crave ...it wants that. 

If it wants to argue. Ask it. What part of N. O. Don't you understand? 

The N. bit or the O.?

Its not rocket science. NO.  

Best bit.

It gets better. So much better.

I don't don't fool myself why I shouldn't,should,or could,

or might,or maybe,or can again some day,

I Don't smoke cause I can!

Bestest

C

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Octain]

One month it’s huge! You should be very proud of yourself.

[Reciprocity]

This addiction is very powerful in ways we just don't expect DV. It will attack us at moments we don;t expect because it figures our guard is down or we just are tired of fighting. These are the times we must rally all of our commitment and fight that son-of-a-bitch!!

 

My guess is these are the last dying, full scale attacks your addiction is rallying against you. It knows you are winning and it won't go away easily. You fight through these days and you will see how much better it gets and how much easier this becomes a little further down the line. It happens that way for ALL of us - it will for YOU too DV; you'll see

[lml]

Thank you DV for sharing. I don't know why, but reading what you are going through encourages me. I am on day 6 of my quit and fight with myself all the time. It is a battle for me. Several times a day, I engage in a war with my addicted self. I think if I get through this battle, I will be "home free",  but NOPE, the battle comes back from a different direction with different weapons. 

 

Stay strong DV and congrats on winning that battle. 

 

Quote

Take care, keep safe and stay quit!

 

Good advice. Thank you. 

[brand.new.ela]

Congratulations DV, you’re extremely strong. I’m sorry you experienced on your own skin that quits are very fragile things and suffered those unpleasantnesses. But with the way you rock you emerged even stronger. Celebrate the big milestone, you deserve it! 

[jillar]

Congrats again on one month DV, and thank you for sharing this post with us. I'm sure it will help many, including yourself, in the days/weeks/months ahead. One thing I made sure to do each month was go back and read my posts from the beginning just so I wouldn't forget where I came from. Doing that helped remind me that I too never wanted to have to go through those early days again. 

And remember with each crave you beat, the next one gets weaker Onwards and upwards my friend

[Sazerac]

Congratulations on your first month DeVredux !

One month is a huge accomplishment but, remember you are in the early days, months...

Quitting smoking is a Journey and you must protect your quit FOREVER and a day !

Triggers for the first year are often seasonal...first Springtime walk in the park, first summer fun, first Autumn memory.

Don't be surprised to be surprised by craves or smokey thoughts,

arm yourself with education, rewards, distraction...arm yourself with everything you can think of.

 

You are doing great.  Every craven crave beaten down is one less you will ever experience again.

Thanks for your honest post, it helps me stay on the path.

S

 

[Martian5]

DV congrats on the 1 month.

Learning to deal with the craves in the early weeks of your quit can be difficult but can be overcome, it was that way with me.  I learned with each difficult crave that I was able to overcome the stronger I got.  Craves will diminish somewhat over the next few weeks but they can come out of no where so learn from these and come here when the craves get strong.  The other thing that will happen is that the craves will be less and less and you will be able to overcome them in a matter of a couple of minutes.  Keep strong, you are doing well.  

[TravellingSunny]

12 hours ago, DVredux said:

The first one being the reality of the crave. People think that after 15 days or 25 days or their quit, they are out in the clear. This is when the crave strikes, when you have dropped your guard. No Matter how long you are in your quit, the lesson is not to drop your guard!

 

Valuable lesson that I'm still trying to learn.  Thank you for sharing this.  I needed to be reminded.