Finally letting go

[farmgirl]

I'm 4 months smoke-free.  The night before my first smoke-free day, I smoked two cigarettes before heading in to sleep, leaving two cigarettes left in the pack. 

 

Other times I quit in the past, I finished a pack, leaving myself the burden of actually going to a store and buying more if I wanted to kill my quit.

 

This time, I kept the rest of the pack in my purse.  You could see this as a lack of commitment, which, at first, it was.  But then it became a signal of my commitment - it would have been easy to kill my quit at any time, and I continued to choose to stay strong against my cravings, with the cigarettes at my fingertips.

 

I'll be honest and tell you that a few weeks into my quit, in the middle of a massive panic attack on the highway, I pulled one out, held it in my fingers and imagined I was smoking it.  "You can stop this car and light it anytime you want," I told myself.  Instead, I realized I was craving deep breaths, and nicotine wasn't going to give me anything but a feeling of defeat.

 

Some time ago, I stopped carrying a lighter, so the "you can light this anytime you want" lost some truth, but I didn't have any major feelings of stress about that.

 

And now, the pack is smushed and stale, and I never think about it, and it's taking up space in a never-used pocket of my purse, and finally, I have no reservations about tossing them.

[Reciprocity]

Many might say you are crazy to tempt yourself like that but I can completely understand what you say about it starting as perhaps lack of total commitment and then that turning into a sign of commitment to stay quit despite the easy availability of smoking material. Not sure I would recommend it to others but hey, whatever works for each individual is the right thing as long as it leads to a strong quit   Stay strong & stay committed FG!

[Sslip]

Great stuff farm girl. I know this wouldn't work for me, but you are right we have to keep making the conscious choice to not smoke in any case. I can see why for some this is a way to go. 

 

Huge congratulations on 4 months, it's a brilliant quit you have going there. 

[Doreensfree]

Great stuff farmgirl...you believed in yourself....4 months already !!!

I wouldn't have tried this either...I wanted to give this 52 year smoker the best chance I could ...

[jillar]

Good for you farmgirl, we've had several that did the same thing and got the same great results as you are. Keep that awesome quit you have going

[WeegieWoman]

Firstly congrats on four months, that is brilliant. Horses for courses. Ive heard of a few folk keeping fags and it was kinda 'if i really want one i can have one' sort of security blanket i suppose. You are testament that it can work. Good for you. 

[catlover]

Congratulations on 4 fabulous smoke free months . I also kept a full  unopened pack in my bag for several weeks. I'd bought them a few days after I had quit without even thinking !! My husband was still smoking at the time, and when one day he did,nt have any, and it was late at night, I gave the pack to him.

Thankfully he is now quit too

Whatever works for you

[Reciprocity]

1 hour ago, catlover said:

Congratulations on 4 fabulous smoke free months . I also kept a full  unopened pack in my bag for several weeks. I'd bought them a few days after I had quit without even thinking !! My husband was still smoking at the time, and when one day he did,nt have any, and it was late at night, I gave the pack to him.

Thankfully he is now quit too

Whatever works for you

 

^^^ Glad to hear your hubby has quit now too CL Hope he's doing as well as you are. He has a great mentor to look up to!

[catlover]

2 minutes ago, reciprocity said:

 

^^^ Glad to hear your hubby has quit now too CL Hope he's doing as well as you are. He has a great mentor to look up to!

Thank you and Yes he is doing well, he's about 6 weeks quit now, so pleased he has quit as I hated him stinking like an ashtray 

[Boo]

Welcome aboard Farmgirl.  Congratulations on your four-months of freedom.

 

Enjoy the ride.

[Martian5]

Farmgirl -- welcome aboard on this journey.  As you show how each of us succeeds in their quit is different and what works for them is what is important.  Congrats on the 4 months and keep going.  

[Sazerac]

7 hours ago, farmgirl said:

I'm 4 months smoke-free.  The night before my first smoke-free day, I smoked two cigarettes before heading in to sleep, leaving two cigarettes left in the pack. 

 

Other times I quit in the past, I finished a pack, leaving myself the burden of actually going to a store and buying more if I wanted to kill my quit.

 

This time, I kept the rest of the pack in my purse.  You could see this as a lack of commitment, which, at first, it was.  But then it became a signal of my commitment - it would have been easy to kill my quit at any time, and I continued to choose to stay strong against my cravings, with the cigarettes at my fingertips.

 

I'll be honest and tell you that a few weeks into my quit, in the middle of a massive panic attack on the highway, I pulled one out, held it in my fingers and imagined I was smoking it.  "You can stop this car and light it anytime you want," I told myself.  Instead, I realized I was craving deep breaths, and nicotine wasn't going to give me anything but a feeling of defeat.

 

Some time ago, I stopped carrying a lighter, so the "you can light this anytime you want" lost some truth, but I didn't have any major feelings of stress about that.

 

And now, the pack is smushed and stale, and I never think about it, and it's taking up space in a never-used pocket of my purse, and finally, I have no reservations about tossing them.

 

Hi Farmgirl,

Welcome and congratulations on your quit !

Four Months is an important accomplishment please remember to reward yourself.

I love your line, 'nicotine wasn't going to give me anything but a feeling of defeat'

You got that right !

 

[beazel]

Wow - that's cool you could do that.

 

Kinda sounds like some sort of ceremony that you needed for your quit.

 

They say farm girls are tough...now I definitely believe it!!!!!

 

(I feel happy that they are gone.) Lol 

[Fab]

Hi farm girl - I’m 4 months today as well and I did what you did with a couple of cigs in the pack congrates!  

[farmgirl]

Hey Fab, I'm glad to hear you are with me on this quit!

 

Yeah... It was a bit crazy to keep them around, but the thing that makes me crave the most is the feeling of being trapped, so giving myself the constant choice helped me.  When I feel trapped, I tune out and let autopilot take over and bend towards immediate relief.  Having the choice frees me to make the conscious decision not to smoke.  It's how I quit drinking, too.  Put all the power in my own hands...

[Joe7]

Hi Farmgirl.

 

It was very similar for me. I had 2 cigarettes left in my pack when I quit.

At home I kept my cigarettes in the garage because I did not smoke in the house.

                     About a year later:

That same pack with the two cigarettes and the lighter are still in the garage today.

[Wren18]

Hi Farmgirl and Fab, congratulations on your quit of 4 months.

I admire you Farmgirl,  I'm 4 months quit today and i had to get rid of all cigs, lighters and ashtrays, couldn't have had them in the house but i can your reasoning makes sense!

Well done

 

 

[Giveintowin]

Good on you Farmgirl. 

[Fab]

On 5/3/2018 at 1:10 AM, farmgirl said:

Hey Fab, I'm glad to hear you are with me on this quit!

 

Yeah... It was a bit crazy to keep them around, but the thing that makes me crave the most is the feeling of being trapped, so giving myself the constant choice helped me.  When I feel trapped, I tune out and let autopilot take over and bend towards immediate relief.  Having the choice frees me to make the conscious decision not to smoke.  It's how I quit drinking, too.  Put all the power in my own hands...

It was the same for me

[Fab]

On 5/3/2018 at 5:56 AM, Wren18 said:

Hi Farmgirl and Fab, congratulations on your quit of 4 months.

I admire you Farmgirl,  I'm 4 months quit today and i had to get rid of all cigs, lighters and ashtrays, couldn't have had them in the house but i can your reasoning makes sense!

Well done

 

 

Well done!

It’s a nice feeling to be at 4 months isn’t it, after the battle of the first three months. 

Still need to be careful however in no Mans land as they call it. I feel the 1 year mark is the goal for me, and perhaps at this point I will feel I have a sticky quit. 

[brand.new.ela]

Congratulations! 4 months is a serious quit but I agree, it’s a dangerous moment, everybody, the quitter included, doesn’t expect craves and last triggers to kick in. However, you both are doing great and you both know the rules of addiction and getting rid of it. You’ll be on the lido deck sooner than you think! 

[TravellingSunny]

I can totally relate!  The last time I quit, I did so with almost an entire carton of cigarettes under my bed.  My husband had bought them for me just a few days before my quit date.  I kept them out of sight, but I always knew where they were, and it became a source of pride for me that I was "able" to quit with those still available to me.  After two or three months, I finally gave them away.

 

I think it really boils down to whether or not you're ready to quit or not.  Honestly, if a crave or circumstances get tough enough to make someone decide to throw away their quit, it won't matter (necessarily) if they have smokes or not.  They can always just go to the store to buy them.  Of course, having them readily available makes it much easier to cave in, because you wouldn't have that cool-down period of driving to the store to get them.  But, I totally understand the sense of accomplishment that's derived from winning that internal battle.