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Ashamed of myself

bakon

By bakon
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bakon Collaborator

bakon

Posted
Posted (edited)

Been smoking again. Last night I had figured out I have to tell you all. Don't know how long I have been lying to you all. I quit like five and a half years ago and I think it's only been a little while I started up again. I don't know why or how it happened.

 

Cause it was all a ******* dream.  A two hour sleep and when I woke (to go pee in the middle of the night like all people do for no reason ) I could remember this stupid dream.  Then I lay awake for two hours thinking about how I am going to tell you.  Well I didn't for a day. But today I am coming clean. When I am dreaming.... I am cooler, still bang 20 year olds, and possibly smoke.  But I plan on quiting again .

bakon.jpg.b07bd370891c555bd747cc2c69aff29a.jpg

Edited by bakon
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barry Newbie

barry

Posted
Posted (edited)

Been there, done that.  Just shy of four years. Don’t do like I did and add insult to injury and smoke 5 more years before you quit again!

 

thanks @reciprocity, I didn’t catch that...oh well, I’ve taken bait before...

Edited by barry
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Reciprocity Grand Master

Reciprocity

Posted
Posted

You almost had me there but I know you better than that. You'd chew your right arm off before you'd smoke again - window licker :15_yum:

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Reciprocity Grand Master

Reciprocity

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

Ya right.!!!!....not falling for that...we may be window lickers...but were not stupid window lickers !!!...

Could be a diversion tactic. Draw the chicks attention away from the counting game?

 

Edited by reciprocity
  • Haha 3
Martian5 Rising Star

Martian5

Posted
Posted

I almost took the bait too.  But I know where Bakon might be coming from because the same thing happened to me in the last few days.  

  • Like 2
Martian5 Rising Star

Martian5

Posted
Posted

^^^Staying strong, it is just the stupid dreams.  They are so realistic and does seem like I have broken the quit -- though just in the dream, in reality I intend to smoke no more no matter how strong the lure.  

  • Like 3
Boo Veteran

Boo

Posted
Posted

Bakon,

 

You are awake now.  It was all a dream.

 

You still have plenty of reason to be ashamed of yourself though.

 

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notsmokinjo Mentor

notsmokinjo

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, reciprocity said:

 ^^^ You stay strong M5!!

I don't want to come to the Pacific N.W. just to kick your A*s!! :15_yum:

 

Sure you don't reci, it isn't freezing and still snowing there.... you don't wanna go there at all.

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John Newbie

John

Posted
Posted

Unfortunately, his dream is my reality. After 14 1/2 months of not smoking, I have some employees who smoke and decided what the hell, one can't hurt. After about to choke to death as if it were the first I ever smoked, the euphoria from the buzz of the tobacco kicked in. Needless to say I tried another the next day. The choking wasn't as bad and the "high" was just as good. Then through the month of April I steady increased to a pack a day. No more euphoria, no more buzz, just plain shame.

 

Well today is a new day. Haven't smoked at all today and its 11:30 am eastern time. WILL not become complacent again as that is the obvious reason to my lighting one up back in the first week of April.

 

Hard for me to believe it only takes one. But, now i know first hand that's all it takes.

 

Hope this helps some of you guys to stop any kind of logic to flirt with smoking.

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Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, John said:

Unfortunately, his dream is my reality. After 14 1/2 months of not smoking, I have some employees who smoke and decided what the hell, one can't hurt. After about to choke to death as if it were the first I ever smoked, the euphoria from the buzz of the tobacco kicked in. Needless to say I tried another the next day. The choking wasn't as bad and the "high" was just as good. Then through the month of April I steady increased to a pack a day. No more euphoria, no more buzz, just plain shame.

 

Well today is a new day. Haven't smoked at all today and its 11:30 am eastern time. WILL not become complacent again as that is the obvious reason to my lighting one up back in the first week of April.

 

Hard for me to believe it only takes one. But, now i know first hand that's all it takes.

 

Hope this helps some of you guys to stop any kind of logic to flirt with smoking.

 

 

Welcome back, John.

It's a brand new day. Congratulations on the first few hours of your new quit.

 

Educate yourself more and more and more....and continue your education about nicotine addiction

because addiction will activate immediately with ONE puff for the rest our lives, FOREVER.

and the more we know, the more power we have.

 

Edited by Sazerac
  • Like 6
Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
Posted

p.s.  John, start a new post and call it 'PROUD of Myself' or something ,  there is no shame about failing and starting again. You quit smoking today and that is splendid

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Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
Posted

Aww John...it's a hard lesson to learn...we are addicts....we carnt have !!!!Just 1 !!!!.....

You should have sent a SOS....I could have got that iron frying pan out...I save for occasions as this.!!!!!....

Really glad your back on the train...that the sensible part of your brain thinking...

Let's get you back on the Lido Deck...

  • Like 6
Reciprocity Grand Master

Reciprocity

Posted
Posted

Sorry to hear this John ..... I was not too far behind you in quitting this horrible addiction. You are not the first or last to go down this path of relapsing due to complacency. I hope you have learned a lesson from this experience that will stay with you for life. This can happen to any of us when we get complacent about our quits.

 

Congrats for jumping right back on your quit! That takes guts. You know the drill so now let's just get it done. And thanks for coming here to let us know. It helps more people than you know to hold tight to their quits. Hope you decide to stay with us and let us support you along the way of your new quit!

  • Like 6
Nancy Mentor

Nancy

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, John said:

Unfortunately, his dream is my reality. After 14 1/2 months of not smoking, I have some employees who smoke and decided what the hell, one can't hurt. After about to choke to death as if it were the first I ever smoked, the euphoria from the buzz of the tobacco kicked in. Needless to say I tried another the next day. The choking wasn't as bad and the "high" was just as good. Then through the month of April I steady increased to a pack a day. No more euphoria, no more buzz, just plain shame.

 

Well today is a new day. Haven't smoked at all today and its 11:30 am eastern time. WILL not become complacent again as that is the obvious reason to my lighting one up back in the first week of April.

 

Hard for me to believe it only takes one. But, now i know first hand that's all it takes.

 

Hope this helps some of you guys to stop any kind of logic to flirt with smoking.

So sorry to read this, John.  That "just one" has been the downfall of countless quits.  Once you understand you are a "puff away from a pack a day", it changes your perspective completely.  You can do this!

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Martian5 Rising Star

Martian5

Posted
Posted

John glad you went back to the quit.  Posts like yours helps me to be aware of what can happen if my "stupid thinking" kicks in.  You are doing a brave thing, keep going you can do this.  

  • Like 7
Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
Posted

The evil nico monster doesn't,t die when we quit...he sleeps....lying dormant...that one puff...awakens him...and he  wants feeding on a regular basis...

He will nag at your brain ,till you feed him...NOPE !!!!

  • Like 4
bakon Collaborator

bakon

Posted
  • Author
Posted

John- I have lost three quits over a year in length before. I was young and dum. Now I is old

and dum. You already proven yourself smarter than most

the window lickers by not wasting years between quits like I did. 

 

Good job!

  • Like 9
JB 883 Newbie

JB 883

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, bakon said:

John- I have lost three quits over a year in length before. I was young and dum. Now I is old

and dum.

What horrid grammar.

It is not "Now I is old and dum".

It is "Now I BE old and dum".

 

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