How to do a triathlon when you're a smoker

[JimHannoonen]

First thing you do is wake up extra early (because 4:30am isn't early enough), so you'll have time to suck down 2-3 smokes with your coffee  before you have to  leave to go to the race start (because there's nothing better than coffee and smokes).

Of course, you need to make sure you bring one or two smokes and some matches with you, because once you get to the race start, you're going to hide way back in the bushes and quickly suck down a couple more smokes before the gun goes off.

You know it's going to be a few hours until you can have another smoke and you start to get anxious, but you don't stress too much about it because you're about to embark on an adventure you've spent the past 6 months training for.

 

Start gun goes off and you're swimming with 2,000 of your closest friends.

 

2.4 miles later, you're out of the water and running to your bike. It's only been a couple hours since you last smoked, so you're not really having a hard time.

5 minutes later, you're on your bicycle and are heading out to spend the next 6+ hours on the bike. Luckily, you were smart and planned ahead and put a bunch of nicotine gum in the little bag on your bike so you can get your fix.

You don't mind that it's blazing hot, humid and windy. You don't care that the gum upsets your stomach and makes you want to vomit off the side of your bike. You're getting your fix and all is well.

 

112 miles later, you get off your bike and run into the changing tent so you can start your marathon.

 

A marathon....

 

Not only are you so excited that you survived the first two legs of the race, but you know you're going to get your fix soon. By now, as miserable  an exhausted as you are physically, all you can think about is how close you are to having a smoke.

You know it'll be soon because the day before you stashed a few smokes and some matches along the run course SO YOU COULD STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF A MARATHON AND HAVE A CIGARETTE!!!

 

At the end of the day -14 hours later- you cross the finish line and cry like you never have before. You couldn't be more proud of your accomplishment. All that hard work paid off and you are now an Ironman and always will be. You're also excited to finish because now you can smoke again.

 

A few minutes later you go out and have a few smokes, hobble back to the hotel and call it a day.

 

It just blows my mind that I actually went through all this. That I was SO addicted that I smoked during one of the most grueling athletic events there is.Who knows how much faster my race time would have been if I wasn't a smoker. Who knows how much stronger I would have been mentally if I wasn't thinking about smoking all day.

 

I can't tell you how happy I am to never have to plan around my addiction again.

 

NOPE

 

 

Edited April 12, 2018 by JimHannoonen

[barry]

Funny, I thought it was “watch it on tv”!!! ?

[beazel]

Jim, you are a beast! I can't believe a smoker did that!!!!

 

Go do it again!! (Lol?)

[JimHannoonen]

1 hour ago, beazel said:

Jim, you are a beast! I can't believe a smoker did that!!!!

 

Go do it again!! (Lol?)

 

ha! I went on to do 5 more after that one, all with the same nicotine safety measures in place.

 

No more triathlon for this guy. I'm officially retired.

[JB 883]

The funny thing is though that non-athletes who saw you in action and someone might say, "that guy smokes", others would scream in laughter and be like "Someone who swims a couple miles, bikes over 100 miles, then has to RUN, he doesn't even know what a cigarette is."

 

I used to think it was funny that marlboro used to offer a bicycle if you collected enough "miles" and wondered how someone could smoke AND do anything athletic.

 

Hell of a job though on doing FIVE triathlons and also for quitting the cigarettes It would take me about two weeks to complete even one.

 

 

[Lin-quitting]

The mind of an addict is truly an amazing (amazingly oblivious) thing.

[johnny5]

7 hours ago, JimHannoonen said:

It just blows my mind that I actually went through all this.

 

It blows my mind that you could do a triathlon as a smoker, Jim. 

 

I ran cross country in high school but gave up running once I started smoking.  Cigarettes took way too much out of me to even think of doing something like what you just described.

[jillar]

I remember the pic you posted of when you did the triathlon. Another great post Jim, thanks for sharing