A post from a year ago today

[JimHannoonen]

This popped up in my Facebook memories today. It was the day I decided to share with my friends on Facebook that I'd quit smoking. It was a hard thing to do, but the responses and encouragement I got were amazing.

 

Share your quit. Talk about it. Rant as much as you need. It all helps.

 

I'm just gonna put this out there.

I was a smoker.

I smoked cigarettes for 30 years. Most of you that know me personally were aware this. It's been something we've laughed about. You know, that one time I stopped at mile 22 in the marathon of an Ironman to have a smoke? Pretty funny, right? Pretty sad, too.

I tried to hide this habit from a lot of people. I wasn't proud of it, I was ashamed. Here I was, a guy who lost his father to lung cancer, yet still I smoked. I couldn’t stop.

A pack a day for 30 years…

I stopped smoking over a month ago. I didn't want to tell anyone because I was afraid of being judged. Of being told how disgusting of a habit it was and how disgusting I was. I didn’t want to hear it because I already knew it.

I didn't want to tell anyone because I wasn't sure if I could do it and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I didn't want to be a failure.

For those of you that have never smoked, you can't imagine what it's like. You can try, but you'll never know, so it was hard for me to want to share this with you because I didn't think you'd understand.

I haven't posted much on Facebook lately because quite frankly, this has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I haven’t been myself. I’ve been angry, frustrated, annoyed and sometimes, completely and irrationally psychotic and I hated it. I hated Facebook. I hated you, I hated myself. I was mad at everything. I was mad for no reason other than I wanted nicotine and I wouldn't let myself have any.

It’s absolutely frightening the power a silly little drug can have over you when you decide you don’t want to use it anymore.

Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I’m by no means out of the woods here and I need to be vigilant, but I thought it would be good for me to share.

Edited March 28, 2018 by JimHannoonen

[jillar]

I remember that post Jim! Look how far you've come

[Lust4Life]

I remember this too!  These words outlining your stuggles early on will help a fellow quitter- new, old, & on the fence lurkers.

 

Look at ya now!! Lovin' the Lido lifestyle. 

[ClaireP1973]

Well done Jimmy Boy!"   I've just checked in for the first time in a few months and you are one of the members that I remember.  Keep it up pal - you're doing great! 

[Mollie1]

So glad you are sharing.  I know it helps me & am certain it helps others as well.  Great job on your 1+ year quit.   

[onthemark]

Thanks for sharing Jim. 

[Jryan19982]

I too would smoke a cig after lifting weights or playing a game of flag football etc... amazing that we would chose to smoke after, at least me, coughing up all that crap while running around.  

[Giveintowin]

One year free. Well done.