How do you deal with self harming thoughts if you have them?

[Rasdaan]

So I had an attempt to quit smoking that went about 2 and a half weeks, and it ended when I was hit with suicidal feelings and some intense panic attacks. I do struggle with depression and anxiety (chemical imbalance), and I always struggled with finding ways to cope without tobacco in my life. I feel like my medications are stable when I do smoke, but whenever I try to quit, I find myself getting lower than most points in my life, and feelings of hurting myself comes up.

 

I tried daily exercise, and distracting myself. But the depression kept nagging, and so did the thoughts of going down to the gas station. I would be lying if I said it was all just from my diagnosed depression, things in life have been pretty rough between school, and finding out my father doesn't have much time left. Sometimes I feel like I am shutting myself in the house because I feel like I will buy cigarettes if I leave the house. Going into day 2, I feel like I am getting those self harming feelings again.

 

Are there other people here who have dealt with similar issues? What worked for you? I want to feel positive about this positive decision. I don't want to feel like I am giving up cigarettes, I want to feel like I am ridding myself of cigarettes!

[beazel]

You should probably talk to your doctor, alot of people here have mentioned that their medications needed to be adjusted.

 

I have dealt with mild depression & anxiety/panic attacks, but not thoughts of suicide with this quit.

 

I think you need to talk to a professional. I hope you can get things worked out.

[jillar]

Hi rasdaan your story reminds me of a member who struggled just as you are right now. She also had suicidal thoughts and had a relapse. With the help of her Dr and a psychiatrist she celebrated a year quit last November. You can too. But please don't harm yourself. Talk to your dr. tell him what you go through upon quitting and they may be able to adjust your meds, even if it's only temporary.

I'm sorry about your dad, I'm sure he's very proud of you for deciding to take back your life. You can do it and we will help however we can from cyberland

[Rasdaan]

I should talk to my doctor, sometimes I get worried because last time I brought it up, he said mood stabilizers were the next choice we had.

 

Don't worry, I am no stranger to suicidal thoughts, but that doesn't make them less scary. I will try and keep this quit going, maybe I should consider NRT. E cigarettes are something I tried, but didn't like due to them breaking down easily, and not enough evidence for health for me to justify continuing use.

 

How do you guys like Nicorette? 

[notsmokinjo]

I have anxiety and panic attacks which worsened early in my quit.. Both these issues have improved as my quit progressed. That said I am not on medication for these conditions at the moment either.

As Beazel l and jillar have said you need to see your doctor about this to help you quit. As you are on medication for your chrones and also your chemical imbalance see your doctor as quitting may very well affect not only the meds but also the doesage required. 

So anxiety issues for me worsened in the early stages of my quit but by month the 2 they are the best they have been in years.

[notsmokinjo]

I used NRT (the gum) at the start of quit.. I used 4mg 2-4 times a day for the first week, then 2mg 2-4 times a day after. I stopped the gum completely over a month ago, when I stopped I was only having 1 a day. This definitely helped me through the worst of the withdrawal. I had allowed myself to use the gum for the first 6 months but didn't need it. The gum worked for me but for many others it does not.

 

[Sazerac]

 

Consult your doctors.  

People have had successful quits using NRT.

Cigarettes are, in their own right, a self harm weapon and are doing you no good at all.

Please be extra kind to yourself !

Life without the slavery and consistent anxiety that accompanies addiction is really,  really GOOD. 

 

[Reciprocity]

I hope you can get some help with this from your Dr, Rasdaan. Quitting is something that once you are able to do it will not only be good for your health in general but will also give your self confidence a big boost just knowing that you did it. I didn't use any NRT product so can't comment there but what ever you need to do to make your quit work long term is worth a try if cold turkey is not working for you.

 

Stay with us here and post as often as you can. That may help you considerably too, just talking to other quitters.

[bakon]

We have several members with mental health issues, some not treated.  Stick around and read at least. You got a plate full there above most of our levels but the smoking part we can help when ready and balanced. 

[onthemark]

Taking a mood stabilizer is better than smoking cigarettes. I take a couple of medications to keep me stable. It was hard to quit and I went through awful anxiety and depression. I do think it is harder for people with mental illness to quit smoking but that doesn't make it impossible or less important. You can do this!

[WeegieWoman]

I take mild medication for anxiety and i was actually so caught up in quitting at the start of my quit that i totally forgot to take my medication!  When I realised two weeks had passed and i thought oh, i wonder if i could just chuck that medication.  But my anxiety was definitely UP so after a few more days I went back on it (and felt much better).  So just pointing out the obvious...remember to take your medicine!!!!

Im a big advocate for NRT, it got me where I am today and I dont think i would be here had i not used it. And i was on it for less than a month.  So all good in my book.  Where abouts do you live?  In uk we get free access to smoking cessation nurses who can advise and support.  Can you access anything like that? Take all the help you can get!! And keep posting too, forums are brill for support also

[JB 883]

Everyone is depressed. It is the "in thing" right now. I went to the hospital for cellulitis last November and the majority of questions i got asked were about depression, self-harm etc. I have never went to the doc for something so silly as being sad. What the hell does cellulitis have to do with depression anyways? Cellulitis is a deep skin infection. I guess they thought i was going to self-harm over what was basically a nasty wound.

 

If someone has the luxury of being in the web, they live indoors, not incarcerated, not starving, and have at least some positive human interaction a few times a week, there isn't much reason to kill yourself.

 

If someone has never raised a rotten kid, they do not know what stress or depression are.

 

Jumping from drug to drug isn't the answer. Quitting smoking isn't always easy. We have to pay some dues.

 

It is like this - if your life belongs to YOU, as in, no nagging spouse, no rotten kids, not in jail... You are free. Get out and enjoy the fresh fcuking air and sunshine.

[WeegieWoman]

JB - a 20 year old lad that works for my husband hung himself last night, he was cut down by his uncle. Thankfully he survived and is now in hospital. Should we just tell him to get out and enjoy the sunshine? Depression isnt 'in'. Its a serious illness and should be treated as such. 

[NADA]

Rasdaan

 

If you are still looking at this thread, I hope you will ignore the ignorance of the response from Jetblack.

 

Work with your doctor to determine if depression/anxiety meds need to be used or adjusted for your quit.  Also discuss NRT options while considering cold turkey.  In the long run, quitting smoking will have positive effects on your overall health and may actually help your mental health too.  You can do it.      

[Sazerac]

9 minutes ago, BKP said:

Rasdaan

 

If you are still looking at this thread, I hope you will ignore the ignorance of the response from Jetblack.

 

Work with your doctor to determine if depression/anxiety meds need to be used or adjusted for your quit.  Also discuss NRT options while considering cold turkey.  In the long run, quitting smoking will have positive effects on your overall health and may actually help your mental health too.  You can do it.      

 

Thank you BKP

and Weegie, "

" - a 20 year old lad that works for my husband hung himself last night, he was cut down by his uncle. Thankfully he survived and is now in hospital. Should we just tell him to get out and enjoy the sunshine? Depression isnt 'in'. Its a serious illness and should be treated as such. "

 

Please know you have allies here, Rasdaan

Edited March 29, 2018 by Sazerac
spelling

[Rasdaan]

4 minutes ago, BKP said:

Rasdaan

 

If you are still looking at this thread, I hope you will ignore the ignorance of the response from Jetblack.

 

Work with your doctor to determine if depression/anxiety meds need to be used or adjusted for your quit.  Also discuss NRT options while considering cold turkey.  In the long run, quitting smoking will have positive effects on your overall health and may actually help your mental health too.  You can do it.      

Truthfully JB's response didn't bother me, I have heard that point of view from many people and I do know that at the end of the day, they mean well.

 

That being said, I have scheduled an appointment with my doctor to discuss adjusting my medications. I feel like that is going to be a good way to go, and I hope that we can find the combination that makes a difference in my efforts. 

 

I am taking a low dose of Wellbutrin, and I am thinking I would possibly do better if we increased that dose, and got rid of my cymbalta since I am not too sure if that is doing anything. Obviously that is just guessing on my end, its all up to what the doctor thinks.

 

Thanks again to everyone who is taking time to give me advice, even JetBlack. Medication isn't going to be a magical fix, and I really do need to go outside more, and change up my lifestyle if I am going to do this.

[Rasdaan]

8 minutes ago, Sazerac said:

 

Thank you BKP

and Weegie, "

" - a 20 year old lad that works for my husband hung himself last night, he was cut down by his uncle. Thankfully he survived and is now in hospital. Should we just tell him to get out and enjoy the sunshine? Depression isnt 'in'. Its a serious illness and should be treated as such. "

 

Please know you have allies here, Rasdaan

<3

 

Thank you very much Sazerac!

 

Doctors appointment is scheduled! Unfortunately he is out on vacation, but I should be seeing him in a week and a half!

[Doreensfree]

Hello and welcome to the board Rasdaan..

We have alot of good information here and videos for you to watch... To help you along...

I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties... And seeking medical advice is a good move to finding the right help for you...

Maybe spend the time you have to wait for your appointment ,could be spent reading and getting familiar with this wonderful place...

Many of us have quit using NRT....if its the help..you need...to stop smoking...

I wish you the best you deserve...

 

 

[Jenny]

Hi Rasdaan, so sorry to hear you are struggling this much.  Quitting smoking sure can send a person into a tailspin!  I became really emotional when I quit.  Not to the degree of self harm, but still I cried constantly, couldn't eat or sleep.  It was like someone died!  I really fell apart and found through the quitting process that I smoked as a way to cope and when I quit I had no idea how to manage emotionally.   It took a few months to start feeling more like myself.

 

I do hope you seek out medical advice with your depression/anxiety getting to the level you wrote about. Quitting smoking is important but it needs to take a back seat if you are considering self harm.  Some of us need more and/or different support in quitting than others. Get whatever support you need so you can be successful. On a secondary note,  please DO get outside and feel that sunshine on your face or do whatever you think might lift your mood, even a little.   Making positive changes in your habits etc...when you quit really does help.  Stick around here!  You're not alone in how you feel.  Many have walked this road and we would love to support you in your journey.  

[Reciprocity]

In a community like this where everyone has a common goal and all of us know the struggles each other deal with day to day, you may find that you have a greater bond with people and have more true personal support than you have experienced elsewhere in your life. That along with knowledge about this addiction are very powerful tools you can use to your advantage

[onthemark]

Upping the dosage of Wellbutrin sounds like a real possibility to improve how you feel. I found that a low dose of it did nothing for depression but a standard dose does help. It also is the same drug as Zyban, which is prescribed to help people quit smoking, so a higher dose can help on that front too. Depression is a serious problem and not to be scoffed at esp when there's the possibility of self-harm. Cigarettes are also self-harm but the consequences are down the road until it is too late. 

[notsmokinjo]

Hey @Rasdaan how you're going well.

[stzr500]

Rasdaan, 

     Quite some interesting posts here but Jenny nailed it. I was at the same place she was on her quit in the early phases. Cried a lot to the point where it dropped me to my knees. Anxiety was high also. I am now a year into this and had a good summer but winter came and things kinda went to crap again only not as severe.  I know people who have used wellbutrin and chantix that have had severe reactions to while quitting smoking. Myself I didn't use anything ..cold turkey for me which I still shake my head over because I can't believe I did it. I also used smoking as an aid. I posted a topic a bit ago  about my quit....called ..My story hope it helps.  Check it out kinda goes into detail on my first year and on going battles but I am learning and still learning new coping skills. I think thats also the beaty of life is discovering yourself all over again after you hid in the small dark room for so many years. You can do this.

Edited April 3, 2018 by stzr500

[Rasdaan]

18 hours ago, notsmokinjo said:

Hey @Rasdaan how you're going well.

Sorry for taking so long! I have been trying to keep busy with school n whatnot.

 

My doctors appointment will be on the 10th, and I am hoping we can find a good combination. That being said though, I need to get back into regular exercise. Last time I did well in an attempt, I was exercising way more than I am now.

 

Quitting feels so hard lately. I have such a difficult time staying focused on anything let alone school!

13 hours ago, stzr500 said:

Rasdaan, 

     Quite some interesting posts here but Jenny nailed it. I was at the same place she was on her quit in the early phases. Cried a lot to the point where it dropped me to my knees. Anxiety was high also. I am now a year into this and had a good summer but winter came and things kinda went to crap again only not as severe.  I know people who have used wellbutrin and chantix that have had severe reactions to while quitting smoking. Myself I didn't use anything ..cold turkey for me which I still shake my head over because I can't believe I did it. I also used smoking as an aid. I posted a topic a bit ago  about my quit....called ..My story hope it helps.  Check it out kinda goes into detail on my first year and on going battles but I am learning and still learning new coping skills. I think thats also the beaty of life is discovering yourself all over again after you hid in the small dark room for so many years. You can do this.

 

Thank you to both you and Jenny. It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling the way I do.

[JB 883]

How horrid a "groaner" would it be to tell someone -

"Many people have thoughts of self-harm. Don't beat yourself up over it"