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Showing results for tags 'relapse'.
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Now then, let's be perfectly clear My only expertise is a little experience in smoking and quitting smoking. I have watched some videos, read some books and shared with some fellow quitters. I have zero medical experience or expertise, in fact I look away when they show operations on medical dramas. No knowledge whatsoever of brain chemistry. There is some true expertise knocking around on the forum - and a lot of it is pinned to the top of the boards - this however is just me shooting the breeze, sharing some experience and some observations. People choose to quit smoking for a variety of reasons. Some of them are deeply tragic personal experiences. The loss or debilitation of a loved one for example. Some are scared into it. Some just make a rational decision. Some people quit Cold Turkey. Some use NRT. Some use acupuncture, hypnosis. Some use Vaping. Some read books. I believe that it matters not a jot why someone chooses to quit or how they quit. Allen Carr, Joel, all sort of people have said this many many times - I am amazed at how long it has taken me to truly understand it. (Quite a thick head :rolleyes: ) One thing matters. Understanding the con. Every single one of us believed that we enjoyed smoking, that smoking gave us a benefit of some kind. Allen Carr covers this in depth - he calls it the key. We spent years convincing ourselves that we liked stinking, liked poisoning ourselves and those around us, liked impoverishing ourselves, liked being slaves to a drug addiction. Even when we stop - we yearn for the 'carefree' cigarette. BOLLOCKS! The moment that one realises that smoking does not give us any benefit and NEVER did, that it was all an elaborate con trick, then the Quit is done. It sticks. The con has worked for decades. People have made millions, no billions, of Dollars - and they continue to do so in the developing world. Perhaps the strongest testament to the power of the con - is that they are doing it again - and new generations of people are falling for it. "Here, take a strange looking pen shaped object, suck it and enjoy some vapour. Yes! Vapour. It's cool. Look you can have coffee flavoured vapour! To make the vapour even better, we have added a special ingredient called nicotine - this nicotine is brilliant as an insecticide, at fooling receptors in your brain and here is the real kicker.....nicotine is an absolute superstar at addicting you - guaranteeing that you personally will pay US a fortune for the rest of your life. 10% off if you buy an extra pack!" People are queuing up to suck this stuff in. I see them interviewed on TV "why are you vaping?" "it's kinda cool yaknow? Relaxes me innit. I enjoy it" Really? Sucking a pen is cool? You enjoy it? What the flavour? The coffee flavour? Here's an idea - HAVE A COFFEE! A quit fails because a little part of us clings onto the idea (an idea being pushed all around us) that smoking was enjoyable. It wasn't. It is a con. Understand this, really understand it and come to rely on it when you feel the siren call of a cigarette - and whether your quit started a year ago, a month ago, yesterday, today or even tomorrow - your quit will stick.
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This is a post that Joel used to use quite often at the Freedom From Nicotine Message Board before they implemented their no relapse policy. While it's no longer used at Freedom, it's a very insightful and an excellent message for all of us, especially those who have relapsed and most importantly, mirrors our ideology concerning relapse. A special thanks to Joel for allowing us to use this. I tried freedom once, why bother trying again? Some past participants have shown a certain reluctance to return to Freedom after relapsing back to smoking. Many are embarrassed to come back admitting failure. Others feel they tried Freedom once, and, since they went back to smoking, its techniques must not have worked for them, so why bother trying the same approach again? Still others feel it is an inconvenience and an unnecessary commitment of time and effort considering they "heard it all before." The concept of returning after a relapse may seem embarrassing at first, but, the ex-smoker will probably see quickly he is not alone. Many people have had past quits prior to joining Freedom and understand the fragility of a quit. They will generally understand and accept the presence of repeaters enthusiastically. Relapsers offer a strong confirmation of the concept of addiction to our old members and to all new participants. They often openly share their past experience of how, after initially quitting, they came to a point of complacency which allowed the relapse to occur. They generally reflect back at their non-smoking period as a time where they felt emotionally and physically better, and then openly express the disgust and misery that the relapse brought on. Not only did it cause embarrassment, physical discomfort, and maybe even serious health complications, but also, it was putting them through quitting all over again. Their insights offer a valuable lesson to first time participants not to make the one tragic mistake that could lead them back to smoking and the need for quitting over again--taking a puff on a cigarette. As far as it being an inconvenience, while reading and posting may take a chunk of time out of a smokers life the first few days, in all probability, there is nothing a smoker has to do the week that he or she is stopping that is as important as quitting smoking. Failure to touch base daily with us because of conflicts of time with social or even professional commitments makes about as much sense as a cancer patient skipping life saving chemotherapy treatments for the same events. Missing an entire day because of prior time commitments may jeopardize the quitting process or the long-term maintenance of smoking cessation. This may cost the person his or her life. In the long run, it will probably be viewed as an error in judgment by the patient as well as any significant others who recognize what was put at risk and what was lost in the process. For those who feel that Freedom didn't work, the fact is that the techniques taught here didn't fail, the smoker's implementation did. Only one recurrent theme runs through Freedom: if you don't wish to go back to smoking--NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! No one ever went back to smoking without disregarding that rule. Relapsing is an automatic admission that the smoker disregarded the basic principal taught at Freedom. As far as feeling that "I've heard it all before," being a relapser is evidence enough that the smoker did not hear it or comprehend it all before, or is the type of person who needs to hear it over and over again in order to keep believing it. Repeaters are people who have trouble initially accepting or keeping the concept of addiction alive. This trait is in all probability the reason why the ex-smoker originally relapsed, or maybe didn't stop at all the first time. He or she reached a point of complacency where it was believed that smoking could be controlled at an acceptable level. Smoking is an all or nothing proposition. The repeater must recognize the reason for the past failure and learn from the experience. Otherwise, he or she will be doomed to repeat it over and over again. If you have gone back to smoking, come in and try again. Once you quit smoking, do everything in your power to stay off. Come in for continued reinforcement and witness the mistakes of other past participants who got complacent. As far as addiction goes, it is much better to learn from others' mistakes than having to attend later due to your own. You just don't know whether you will ever have the strength, desire, or opportunity to quit the next time. In today's society, failing to stay off smoking carries long-term risks which include loss of social status, and respect of others; financial implications which range from supporting an addiction costing hundreds to thousands of dollars per year as well as possibly costing your job and career; and, most significantly, eventual loss of health, and possibly loss of life. Considering all of this, the choice to quit smoking and to stay off is an important one. To keep the ability to stay off smoking you need to always remember to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! © Joel Spitzer, 2000 -
Please, Take Your LIVES Seriously ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In 'real' life and here on the QTrain, I see people being careless about their lives and their quit, like they have all the time in the world ! 'I'll quit next week, maybe tomorrow, I'll quit again sometime'. Are they not understanding how dangerous smoking is ? It's a friggin' Slow Suicide ! The ramifications are Horrible. This is no joke. Ask our beautiful friend, Doreen ! I, too, used to be casual about quitting, casual about smoking. so, it is no surprise to see others in Denial. I wasn't listening to any kind of Sense, or Logic, or TRUTH, either. Then, suddenly, I 'got it' and thanks to the information here, I educated myself about Nicotine Addiction. After that, there was simply no other choice except to Quit and be Quick about it ! I would no longer live as a Slave, or die as one either ! I wish I could give that Eureka moment to everybody struggling with addiction but, I don't know what happened or why. At a certain point, I listened and Understood and I give this to you, Understand your addiction, and Be Free of it. Your Lives are Precious.
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I had quit for over a month but today I’ve already had 2 cigarettes and it’s only 1pm. And I had two the other day. I feel so stressed and have no coping strategies and I just have 0 support from anyone in my life.... and I NEED support. I feel like I’m trying to give up heroin or another drug that is on that level... It’s like I can’t find happiness anywhere unless I’ve had a cigarette. For the last month I feel like I’ve just traded cigs for food and have gotten so fat and this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and just snapped... went outside and rolled a smoke. Now my throat hurts and I feel pretty rubbish about myself but I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO at this point. Every time I get even the slightest bit upset or emotional my family start yelling at me!! I’m not allowed to feel emotions so I have to numb them somehow. It’s all so rubbish.
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Joel Spitzer's and here Joel Spitzer's Relapse Prevention youtube link with all the resources he mentions. also, take a look at these in house posts How to prevent a relapse Red Flags Post an SOS Post a pre response to your own SOS I'll post more when I find them or you will, I hope. Iml found this for us How To Prevent A Relapse
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Hi Everyone, I'm new to the site, but not new to quitting! My quit date was 25/11/18 so my last fag was Sunday, well until 30 minutes ago. I have attempted to quit so many times before I have actually lost count. Each of my quits vary from 1 week to 12 months. Each break in quitting always comes back to handling stress or anxiety. This quit is based on the east way and Jason Vales app. I have found this week really quite easy, one of the easiest yet. But today I have been faced with a stressful task a t work where I can't see a solution to a problem, so I have really craved. I used the SOS videos, went for a walk, did some deep breathing had something to eat and drink but still gave up and went to the shop. Now I have 20 fags (well 19 now) which I don't want but I know I will end up smoking! I keep coming back to both of the above methods and their comments that we don't start smoking because we think it will help us with stress...BUT I did. When I was 12 years old (now 26), both my parents were very heavy smokers when I was growing up (one still is) and they always use to say 'I'm stressed I need a fag' so when I was 12 and in a state (of what I thought then to be) of stress I thought that the only was that I could get through it was to smoke and I genuinely thought (and still do, to some degree) that it stopped my stress. So now each time I am in a stressful situation I just don't seem to be able to get a handle on my emotions and smoke! Does anyone have any advice, please!? Thank you and sorry for the long post!
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How can quitting be so simple - DO NOT SMOKE - and so fragile at the same time - JUST ONE can set you back, destroy your quit, make you start all over. The paradox of addiction?
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Firstly - my apologies for a massive long post - but I kind of need to get this off my chest. I posted it in my blog - but then thought maybe it might be of use to someone here... Yesterday, my sister in law and her two sons came to visit. The plan is that the sister in law will stay with us for a couple of weeks - while the boys just came for the day. This is the first time that we have had houseguests since the house was refurbished before Christmas. It's quite exciting in a way. The day dawned warm and sunny - inspiring me to take the dog for a long walk and to venture into the garden for the first time this year. Lunch was eaten and wine was taken. A post prandial stroll somehow got diverted to the pub - where beer was drunk. Afternoon became evening with the help of several brandies. Long story short - I awoke this morning with a cracking hangover. Probably my first one since quitting smoking at the end of January. Conventional wisdom will tell you that hangovers are marginally better without the chemicals contained in cigarettes. I think perhaps that I am not convinced by conventional wisdom. This hangover feels pretty much the same as any other hangover that I recall. What has come as a complete surprise is that the hangover has triggered a massive craving for a cigarette. I have been awake for five and a half hours as I write this; and for every minute of those three hundred and thirty, I have been craving a cigarette. Now - I am not going to have one - I don't smoke. It is an obvious truth that non-smokers do not smoke - but it is a truth which I am having to remind myself of today. A lot. I have re-read many inspirational posts on the Quit Train.com and on Why Quit.com - determined to remove this illogical desire that I am harbouring for a cigarette. I am writing this blog post in an effort to reaffirm my determination to be a non-smoker. I can only suppose that for 30 years, I would have fought through any hangovers with the help of 'my little friend' the cigarette and that waking with a hangover this morning has re-triggered an old reaction. It does seem illogical - as if any condition illustrated how horrible it was to be a smoker - then the hangover was it. Hungover- I am always anxious, paranoid even. Two feelings that amplify the self-loathing that is never far away in any addict...but illogical or not - I cannot deny that all day today, I have wanted a cigarette. It could be that I am entering 'No Mans Land' which is how some people characterise a period where an addict moves from the "I'm quitting" period to the "Bored now". The logic is that family, friends and colleagues have become accustomed to the fact that the addict doesn't smoke anymore. Where in the early days everybody was a spectator, paying close attention to the addict and their struggle, now, it's old news. Never-smokers have no comprehension of the addiction, and smokers have conclusively decided that the addict was either never a 'proper' smoker or is miserable without their cigarettes. This last point is critical (I have just discovered!) because right now, I agree with the smoker. I am miserable. Right now - I can actually hear myself saying: "Yes, quitting smoking is tough, but it is doable. I quit for 77 days. But - at the end of the day, I enjoy it. Give me a cigarette please. I'll give you one back when I buy some in a minute. When I stop enjoying it - I'll quit again." I kid you not - I can actually hear myself saying that. I can picture myself reaching for the cigarette. I know which colleague I am asking for the cigarette... Here is the thing. I can picture myself doing it, I can hear myself doing it, but I am NOT doing it. Why am I not doing it? Really - why not? Well - there are several reasons. 1. I posted on a website that I visit this morning. I posted - NOPE. (So there must be something to this pledging :) ...) 2. I promised some people that I came to know is cyber space - that before smoking another cigarette I would post a SOS first. and I haven't. 3. If I did smoke - a lot of these people in Cyber space would be annoyed that I smoked, hurt that I did not post SOS and might even use my relapse as support for a relapse of their own. And while I know I can quit again - maybe that person couldn't. 4. Deep down - I know full well that I am hungover now. If I have a cigarette, I will still be hungover. And I will be incredibly annoyed with myself. So - I won't smoke. All of you - I am not naming names, because I would forget someone - but ALL of YOU saved my quit today. Thank you.
