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larklibby

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Blog Entries posted by larklibby

  1. larklibby
    A short blog, a few words, I just want to pen a quick thought.
     
    The past week I have hit a low spot in my quit. I'm not really sure what has triggered it, have I lowered my guard? I don't know. I have just past my 4 month quit mark and all of a sudden i'm getting waves of urges to smoke.
     
    The one thing that has kept my resilience, stubbornness and downright refusal to give in, is the fact that I have read about how people have faced the same struggle; even after months into a quit, just like me.
     
    It's important to know that it's not easy, you will get surprised by cravings when you least expect it and you can feel downhearted by the fact they are still there when you think you have done so well. But the important things is this, It's not just me, reading stories from this forum, you can see people who have rode the wave and keep getting stronger.
     
    The point of my short ramble is you need to enter a quit with your eyes wide open, and places like Quit Train give you that power. I'm pretty sure if I had been doing my quit without the support and knowledge of this forum, I would have possibly caved in with an excuse of 'What's the point'.
     
    I haven't smoked, I didn't buckle and stood strong; I know I will never smoke again - that feels amazing.
  2. larklibby

    Nothing Exploded

    By larklibby,

    Nothing exploded. I gave up smoking and stuff carried on as normal, the world didn't blow up nor did I fall over and curl into a ball - things carried on.
     
    Stuff still happened that annoyed me, stuff still happened that made me happy and I dealt with that stuff - stuff is easy without smoke, you find a way in the end.
     
    It's almost 3 months for me after 25 years of smoking, the most annoying thing about the quit is that I didn't do it sooner. I'm not talking about those half arsed quits, you know the ones that smokers do, bit like a game. I mean a real quit - why didn't I reach this frame of mind before.
     
    Sure, I'm a little jagged around the edges, a bit raw, but you know what it's kinda nice not to be numb to the world.
     
    So if you have stumbled across these few words and are thinking about stopping smoking, then do it - it really is that simple and only you can make the choice. Your first step to taking control is making that decision.
  3. larklibby
    For me, the best things about not smoking, becoming a non smoker, are the small things. I have never been driven by 'how bad' smoking is for your health, of course, clearly, smoking is terrible for your well being. Somehow, my brain had learned to navigate around that fact, because of the nicotine, the drug; It was dismissed - 'it won't happen to me' attitude. So finding a driving factor for my quit has never been clear cut, until one day I had a moment of clarity.
     
    The day I threw away smoking out of my life, the day before I found this wonderful website, I saw sense. I had been thinking about quitting for about a month, but as ever with a quit 'it was never the right time'. So I had been soul searching for a reason that I know would help me achieve the quit. Of course I had the normal reasons: financial, health and 'you ain't getting any younger!' And then after 25 years of smoking, it hit me, it was obvious. I realised that nicotine had control over me.
     
    I was in every sense a 'slave' to a drug. A junkie.
     
    My day would be structured around smoking. Did I have enough smokes. When I would smoke. Do I have enough smokes for tomorrow? All this would go through my head first thing in the morning, sometimes even before bed the night before. It seemed normal.
     
    To not have that constraint on my thoughts and movements really is an indescribable euphoria. It's finding inner freedom, shaking off a dependency that gave me nothing. All the things I thought I couldn't do if I stopped smoking, I can, and better: Socialise, be creative, and concentrate.
     
    Yes the first two weeks were a bastard nightmare, but, I would do it again in a blink of an eye if I knew it would get me to where I am now.
     
    Even after just a month, I feel brilliant. A million times better than I did after having a smoke. I still have a journey I know, however whenever I now get the urge to smoke, I visualise a prison cell in my head, and say to myself if I smoke again I will be walking back into that cell. It works, it works for me - I will never want to lose this feeling I have.
     
    So anybody thinking about stopping smoking, not only look at the health and financial aspects of smoking, but see it as taking back control of your life, take the helm back - it's yours.
  4. larklibby

    Day One

    By larklibby,

    So i'm nearing the end of day one.
     
    I have been here before a few times in the past, I knew what was coming and what to expect. A few hot flushes, a nagging voice to 'go buy some smokes'. Getting past trigger places through the day; keeping my mind occupied.
     
    I only had one really bad moment in the day, that was early evening, when I would smoke the most. It's about snapping that routine, 'doing something else'.
     
    I smoked for 25 years, sometimes heavy sometimes not. I liked smoking, I enjoyed a cigarette, but over the past few years I have really wanted to stop. No one smokes anymore, it's no longer social to smoke - I wasn't enjoying it anymore, however I was addicted. So, now i'm at this point. I whittled down my smoking to around 10 a day (probably 10 trigger places in a day for me) and I'm set to kick it once and for all.
     
    Hopefully by the end of the week, most of the physical withdrawal effects will have eased. But for now, I just need to stay focused, stubborn and determined!
  5. larklibby

    End of day 3

    By larklibby,

    I think this afternoon and evening has been the hardest in terms of physical withdrawal. Although I felt pretty rough! I took myself out for a 2 mile run, showered and relaxed and feel a lot better.
     
    I do a lot of writing both in work and out of work. The out of work writing was very much associated with having a smoke; so I need to find another way to step away from writing and have that moment for thought. I'll figure something out.
     
    I can feel the urges getting weaker and my resilience growing stronger - i'm winning.
     
    x

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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