Ramona

Glad it's easy - - - keep this one! If you fold this quit, the next one might not be so easy. I think that's how it works. Congrats! Keep on keepin' on.

If your quit date is the 10th we can be buddies.

Technically I quit @ 4 PM today. My quit is on this date. In typical all-or-nothing thought I figured: "I must use the first completely cigg free date/day as my quit date" Who says? Which/What/Whose rules am I following? Stupid thinking. Smoking is not, in any way, a pleasure or a freedom. As always: we quit for today. As always: it sux to smoke.

Alright. Bakon's advice sounds soundest. I really don't want to smoke for the next week. My skin already feels dry and crunchy. I smell horrible. In typical me style I went balls-to-the-wall and started sucking them down. I smoked half a pack in 12 hours. The nicotine is surging through my blood. It's poison. I hate this! I DO want to feel strong for my birthday. The thought of smoking for an entire week is excruciatingly daunting and gross. The thought that this week will propel me into another 15 years of active addiction is nightmarish. I'm going to start my drugs again (just to secure the beginning of this quit). I am very resentful I was ever prescribed these pills! However, I was repeatedly warned to wean down. Anything and everything you read about this stuff advises the user to SLOWLY wean down but I was like, "Eh, screw it. Screw the insurance companies, screw this pill." In the end I just screwed myself!!!!!! Arrogance and extremism strike again! I left a message for a Naturopath and I hope they call me back soon. Conventional Doctors are in bed with Big Pharma so they'll never advise natural methods. At this point the threat of becoming a full time smoker is worse than the threat of being on this other crap for a little while longer. Midnight tonight - 2/11/2016. I quit tonight. I go to sleep now because I work nights. HELP QUITTRAIN. Will check posts when I wake up and start my new life anew.

Not good guys. Don't throw away a Year and 3 Months of being quit. Mistakes I Made: 1) Drank Booze 2) Blamed Boyfriend Who Originally Quit With Me But Relapsed in 5 Months 3) Did Not Post S.O.S.On This Board 4) Did Not Care 5) Allowed Mom's Smoking to Bother me 6) Allowed Sister's Smoking to Bother Me 7) Went Cold Turkey on Psyche Meds wo/Consulting Anyone 8) Did Not Pray On It 9) Expected Others to Congratulate Me All The Time 10) Expected Others to Find My Feat as Significant As I Found It How I Feel: 1) Crappy 2) Anxious 3) Sick 4) Smelly 5) Rushed & Impatient 6) Loser (ish) 7) Worried/Scared 8) Hooked Again 9) Mildly Doomed 10) Stupid New Quit Date set for February 17th. My 33rd Birthday. 33 is also my old basketball jersey number. Will need help at that time...I'm actually ruing these 7 days I have to smoke. But dates are important to me so I know using my birthday will be a big help. It will be a reminder that I AM QUITTING FOR ME AND ME AND ME AND ME AND ME ALONE. To be continued...

sounds fun. if you figure it out, update.

Well Bakon - Not sure I should share this but it was good at the time. I indulged for one day in my 3 primary dependencies: beer, cigarettes, and the prescription. My first beer drinkin in 5 years! When I first lit that cigg, and gulped that beer, it felt like I was "coming home" to myself. Guess that's bound to be the case. Cigarettes & alcohol were my vice babies for over 15 years. I'm more than a little bummed (2 days later) from the emotional hangover and the disappointment in myself. Not worth it. My ticker is at a pathetic 2 days and I texted some rude stuff to a person I used to care about. Back to sobriety and smobriety. Wish me luck (anyone reading this). I can't throw away all the work I put-in and become a smoker again. I may be physically addicted for a few days but I am well trained for the psychological component. Any advice or encouragement is welcomed. Thanks yall for your presence on this board.

Day one is done. Now for Day 2. I'm not wicked upset about it...but I have to be honest. ONWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reset my ticker. Today is day one. February 8th 2016. Up till yesterday I had 1 year and 3 months of CONTINUOUS smokefree/nicfree living. Maybe this run will last even longer.

Cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette.

So, like many imaginative Americans, I was prescribed an anti-psychotic medication for a made-up mental condition. Though I've often suffered from mood fluctuations I don't think that's enough reason to convince someone to become dependent on a very powerful pharmaceutical. Any who...moving forward. When I quit nicotine & cigarettes in November of 2014 I was taking this medication DAILY...like, every night before falling asleep. About a month ago I went to pick-up my prescription after work and the pharmacist told me I was no longer covered by my insurance (that's a story for another day - - about living in a supposed first-world country that doesn't have single-payer healthcare). So I went off the crap. If I had chosen to stay on the crap (without insurance) it would have cost me a quarter of my monthly salary. The situation got fixed a couple days later but by then I decided I was done being a slave to another substance. Guess it could be worse: http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/02/04/465548279/no-comment-from-grinning-martin-shkreli-at-house-hearing-on-drug-prices NOW HOWEVER. I am basically quitting cigarettes all over again. At the end of the year I had come to a point where I was sustaining existence for long periods of time without smoking. Now I'm back at day one. It sux. The drug (again, a VERY POWERFUL DRUG) was a major mood stabilizer. I almost want to post an SOS but I should be Easy Peasying this crap at this point. Miss smoking. A lot.

One breath at a time (sometimes).

I say: spend NOW with him. That's all we all have (always). I'm so sorry for you, your family, and yalls grief and anger. Thank you for sharing this story so people can visualize the pain this addiction can cause.

Speak for yourself Joe: I'm straight-up, 100%, moonshine nosy.

I can just see Sarge perhaps opening this thread and wishing SO BADLY to refute and rebut: "EASY PEASY EASY PEASY EASY PEASY" Hehehe.

Oh snookerooski. I'm trying to figure that stuff out. Me be such an internet cavelady. Born in 1983 but spent all my time runnin' around in the woods. I'll figure it out.

Actually: we just get angry!!!! :D :lol:

We are all superheros. We have existed through the ups and downs of life without our once-primary crutch. We have endured the death of loved ones and still kept our quit. We've sustained break-ups and night-outs. Insecurity and self-consciousness did not take us down. Our prop removed, we've managed to live in society. No matter the circumstance, no matter the emotion, we have said "NO" time-after-time. "No" we will not go back to a life of slavery. Our bodies have morphed back into what our bodies were always meant to be. We eat when we're hungry. We get angry if it's appropriate. Our adrenaline is back and our time has expanded. We face embarrassment without succumbing. We own ourselves. We learn to "just be." To everyone here who is beating this addiction into a mish-mashed-pulpy-goo-blob - - - YES!!! You are a superhero.

Gulp.

What happened?

A funeral for smokes? Hmm. Makes sense. Quitting put me through the stages of grief - ALL OF THEM. On multiple occasions. I think one of the biggest issues is TIME. I had much more available when I stopped smoking. Much more. Today I'm not sure how I got anything done while I smoked 1.75 hours out of every day! (15 ciggs - 7 mins a cigg - 1 hr, 45 minutes of just smoking). Crazy. It's nice to have the free time now. But when I first quit I felt like there was just too much time. Perceptions shift. What seems like a crappy consequence today will fell like a blessing tomorrow. Rock on.

I used this board as my morning coffee companion - - morning coffee was my most ingrained ritual. Have your computer open - - do a chore, post a random thought. The ritual is not YOU.

This may prove to be the "hardest thing you've ever done." Just imagine how much confidence you will accrue over time! I have found this to be true. I stick up for myself more. I confront my emotions. No more sweeping it under the rug. I stand straighter/taller. Onward. Many battles to fight - - and you will win them all if you want it.

You've saved my ass on more than a couple occasions. Thank you for your experience and insight. 2 years is beautiful.

Thanks for thinkin of me and pullin me back here for a spell. Well done on a year! Earned.