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cpk

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Everything posted by cpk

  1. Please see what what you are saying, Babs. Kooky replies on kooky threads...makes sense. So you are saying okay for kooky replies on serious threads? But not okay for serious comments on kooky threads? No. This is not straight. Come on. People have replied to my sincere comments in appropriate sections with off color jokes. Why are you validating that and blaming me? This isn't about personality profiles. We were talking about what is and is not appropriate in various threads. You started this discussion, not me. Then you made it personal. But this is a great learning curve, right here, right now. Tracey gave me a very good tip in another thread on how to deal with this. This is EXACTLY when I would sign off and go have a smoke, if I smoked. Tracey suggested stepping back and taking space as a non smoker. I don't do this. I pound and pound away, trying to prove a point. Also, like Jenny says, pick your battles. This is not the battle I should be involved with at this time. Just sayin. I'm new but trying to learn the skills people suggest. Strength to strength. I'm having a really hard week, and am jeopardizing my quit by pursuing this conversation. Please take this into PM if you have more you want to say to me. Please don't pursue this any more on this thread. What is happening here is I am not taking care of myself. I have no beef with you, Babs. Just...please...stop. I will, too.
  2. Halfway through this thread some people started asking where other people were, and that new quits needed to check in. Perhaps I lost the meaning of checking in. It is true I have little interest in the fun and games stuff. Maybe I hijacked this thread, but it happens all the time. I have posted sincere posts in appropriate sections, and others have hijacked the thread with smutty jokes and even personal insults from out of nowhere, which was pretty disheartening. Truth be told, sometimes I come on here and I don't know what is happening with me. It's only after I read my own posts I see I am not in the best place mentally, and all I am really managing is to put in another day of not smoking. It's discouraging. I feel like a ghost of my former self. I read EVERYTHING because I need constant reassurance that if I keep moving forward all the awful stuff will eventually fade. Boo Hoo. Crybaby stuff. I can take it somewhere else, off this site. I'm not angry because this insane disregulated person is NOT ME. It is someone trying to throw off a horrible addiction. I know the message here is to "lighten up" but I do have a lot of life stresses, too. I need to accept the reality, that, like Marti, my quit has coincided with a lot of other stuff in my life that suck. When I first quit I was really happy, even euphoric, and I thought the "quit" was done. Then the mental and emotional stuff came on, and it was like getting hit with a Mac truck. I simply didn't anticipate this part of the quit journey. In the future will be mindful to post in appropriate sections. PS I knew what Bakon was talking about.
  3. Thank you, Tracey. This was like a beautiful biography of a succeesful quit, and #12 was like BOOM! -- yet said with such quiet gratitude. This was all very helpful. Your experiences helped me to see that although my quitting smoking has made me feel very uncomfortable, all the stages I am going through are normal. I haven't experienced anything out of the ordinary. It is tedious and painful, but maybe because I am making it so at this point.I can do a lot more to help myself, and, in truth, I need to do a lot more to help myself. I appreciate your sharing. PS I have been experiencing anxiety, but I think it is just new energy I don't know what to do with. I had gotten so used to feeling half sick as a smoker all the time. So the "What next?" you talk about is something I am experiencing. I am now trying to understand that my anxiety is actually ENERGY. :) I need to find new ways to use it. Thank you again for taking the time to answer all these questions.
  4. n :popcorm2: o :spruce_up: p :hunter: e
  5. Putting wings on your heels. As the Brits here say, "Well done, you" ;)
  6. Love Old Pharte wisdom, and especially love Quit Goddesses wisdom. You ladies are so awesome and inspiring, and lovely with your beautiful skin and hair and smiles!!! :) Your gorgeous profile photos are a testament to why all women who smoke should just quit RIGHT NOW. (Evelyn posted fun pix of herself in sparkly top recently saying she was some kind of fish, but we know this isn't true! She looked a bit upset, but she has a lovely nonsmoker's complexion!)
  7. Thanks. I think I read this one. But it's a great reread. Old phartes could post from new perspective of where they are now. Anyway, Babs, you always post great stuff...then there is Marti... and Markus, and Tracey. Ava does the short and sweet "food for thought" which is always great. Bumping is good, too. Markus does that. I think another good way is to pose a question. Surely old phartes haven't posted all the questions in this world. Some I'd like to hear about: 1) What was the hardest month in your quit, and why? 2) What was the best month in your quit, and why? 3) Did certain foods increase thoughts about smoking? 4) Did you experience anxiety that you thought was related to not smoking? How did you handle it? 5) How long did it take you to lose pounds gained while quitting? 6) Did your sleep patterns change after you quit smoking? 7) At what month did you 100% feel you were forever done with smoking? 8) What worked best in the early months that you still do? 9) Did you experience depression you thought was related to not smoking? How did you handle it? 10) If over a year quit, why do you continue to visit and post on QT? 11) When was the last time you had a smoking dream/smokes dream? 12) What is the very best thing that has happened to you since doing the sticky quit?
  8. Well, I had a naked in public dream this week, and it's been years since I've walked on the Mall naked! :lol: LAUGH IT OFF!
  9. How many times did you dream this? :dash2: Need to get nicodemons :diablo: :diablo: ought of dreamland :diablo: Or ignore... Since quitting my dreams are absurd :gamer3: but since two weeks no smokes/smoking dreams Have heard of people who still had smoking dreams 20 years after quitting...so...I guess...chill. It's normal, I guess. :girl_blum: Kinda funny...
  10. Chill, all! The Council Members dictate it... :D
  11. Yeah, but shouldn't someone call "Animal Protection"? Seriously, the funniest ever. And the council members look very "chill" :)
  12. Yeah, especially naked in public dreams. :dash2: All was cool, I woke up in my pajamas. :spruce_up:
  13. I quit in a small window of time with less stress. Guess there are pros and cons. I maybe should have realized I made it a little easier on myself to start out. I'll make sure to visit the board even if just to read. Thanks for great suggestions...ALL WERE GOOD.
  14. Curious, was it brand you smoked?
  15. There IS a lot of fear. You hit the nail on the head.
  16. Wow. This gave me such insight. My longest quit (7 years) was when I lived in California...minutes from the beach. I lost that quit when circumstances were such that I had to leave. I literally started smoking when I was packing up the house. There IS something about the beach that seems to make smoking unnecessary.
  17. Between ourselves I think there is a lot of support. I'm saying that if old phartes are bored and looking for newbies to support, there are plenty of people already on the site who could be supported. Old phartes have wisdom to share. Maybe would be nice if some old phartes who don't post much take a topic that's near and dear to them and do a substantial post.
  18. This seemed related to being in No Man's Land --- like --- nakedly silently screaming in No Man's Land. But, hey, it was just a dream.
  19. Okay. Nope is the dinner. What's for dessert? You know not TWIX or KITKATS, they are off the table for me, although I recently cheated and chilled down on a KitKat! :)
  20. cpk

    10k done!

    SpeedySpideyLegs! I'm so jealous! :vampire: CONGRATS!!!!! :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: ZAPPED A 10k! Inspiring!!!!!!!!!!
  21. Chill. This is a word more than one person has thrown my way. Maybe a really important word because I have had to finally bring my quit into my real world, which is not very chill. Chill? Smoking was a fake way I chilled. Fake because don't you remember hot smoke in your mouth on a scorching summer day? I mean...really. That was NOT a chill. Very cold ice water is a chill on a scorcher day. Chill. Yes, as a smoker I meditated, swam, did yoga, chanted and danced in the street...but now I think those were the sprinkles...the actual cake was smoking. And the icing was smoking. Chill. I am not good at it. But I am beginning to realize keeping my quit depends on this word. Chill: How do you old phartes do it when your life is really really stressed?
  22. Had one of those dreams where I am in public and suddenly realize I'm naked. Maybe was also silently screaming.
  23. nope, stupid flaming turds what a freaking stupid habit looks stupid hurts --- nope more like...NOPE!!!!!!!!!!! :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: :wizard:

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