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cpk

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Everything posted by cpk

  1. cpk

    Where are you?

    "Love the one you're with..."
  2. What goes away? The counting of months? If so, yes, I'm in for the long haul, and to reach that place where smoking is just a dim and distant memory. I guess that's when conscious competence becomes unconscious competence.
  3. Haha, well not quite but moving towards that magic mountain. I'm at 5 months now moving towards 6 and am just really, really excited!!! Nice to see you, deltawings!
  4. Thanks for the comments, and just so you know, there is that rare Blue Moon happening this July. For real. Two full moons in one month...exciting. (And I hope I'm done with smoking dreams for awhile...)
  5. Ted is beautiful, indeed, I think a Russian Blue? But maybe sometime you will bring back the original standing in the garden photo for a few days, because you know how much Bakon likes it, too!
  6. But where's the picture of you in your garden? I liked the old one, then the new one, too. Maybe in the future there will be another new standing in the garden picture.
  7. cpk

    Where are you?

    Colorado Rockies +1, very near Petra. Colorado Rockies ties with Pittsburgh. As well, Rockies territory is fiercely beautiful, so, I think, naturally takes the lead. (Thumbs up for Mrs. Bakon.)
  8. Somewhere in the past few months it has stopped being all about the quit. A lot of crummy stuff happens but that's life, and also nice stuff happens. I can really see where it's all about peeling away the habit of smoking from all the different aspects of life...that becomes the part of keep on marching... I didn't really understand the keep on marching thing, but now I do. Because at first it seemed weird to experience summer as a nonsmoker, but now it feels normal.
  9. I think you are the Goddess of Newbies. When I first came on you were there - rock solid, like others have said - and there for me. I used to write down your comments and reread them until I memorized them. It just seems like you would say the right thing I needed to hear. I was in a lot of pain early in my quit DD, and you were a great comfort. I want to thank you so very, very much. I am still delighted when you post, and although I don't write down your comments now I do remember them all. Well done Goddess of the Quit! You are simply stellar!
  10. I don't know if month 5 is like going around a big bend towards magical month 6, but the promise that "it gets better" is not just empty words. I still have anxiety, but not as much. There are actually some days when I don't think about smoking at all. When I go through rough patches of anxiety or a crummy day I remind myself, "Everything isn't always about quitting smoking." This is a really exciting journey. It has been hard, but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO worth the effort. This post is for newbies, in the early days and weeks of quitting. It can be hard. But it gets easier. Sometimes it's hard to get through the hours. Then suddenly a whole day, or days go by in utter freedom. HANG ON. The promise is real. It DOES GET BETTER.
  11. cpk

    MIA no more

    My 7 year quit was years ago, as I said in my comment. This recent quit is unlike any other because it's my sticky quit. I don't really have physical or mental cravings. I don't want to smoke. I hate the smell. However, I did have a lot of anxiety from month 2 through month 4. I am now at month 5 and getting a handle on the anxiety. I don't expect I will have cravings as strong as I did when I gave up the 7 year quit, because Quit Train has thoroughly educated me in a new way. Hang in there, and post a lot. I think that is key. The Quit Train peeps have really helped me through many a rough time.
  12. Yeah, I recently read that sometimes alcohol can actually bring on heart palpitations, which is a main symptom of my anxiety. Since I quit drinking I feel better. I think the wine was helping me get to sleep but at the same time raising my blood pressure??? I don't know. It was a phase, now it's done, and am meditating instead of drinking wine, and a 50 minute meditation session daily is having a better effect at alleviating anxiety. Quitting is such a roller coaster, but I am heading for month 6, and hope after that things will really improve. Everything is steadily getting better...thanks for your comment here.
  13. Had another one. What I realized was that these dreams are not really very strong. I don't even know if I was actually smoking. I was holding a cigarette. Since I posted this and got these answers I have felt less afraid about having these dreams. It ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO SMOKE. In fact, have been very busy and during waking hours don't think much about my quit at all. You all helped put my mind at ease. Thank you!
  14. Painting my nails. Love this one! Although I don't have cravings to smoke, I am doing battle with dieting away those extra pounds. It's fairly impossible to fix a snack while your nails are drying. Thanks for this one. I will be using it. Great feedback on this thread.
  15. cpk

    Where are you?

    Okay, Hollywood, like in my dreams Hollywood, and sometimes smoking in dreams,too, but I don't actually live there, too much smoking going on in Hollywood.
  16. Hmmm. Thanks all. Also, Nay Nay (Reene) posted on another thread about having a smoker's dream at 1 year, 1 month. The title of thread is something like "Not MIA anymore..." or something. Okay, here's how I am thinking about it. Do you ever dream of having sex with someone from the past who in your present life you would never have sex with? Sometimes this even happens at the start of a new relationship. Someone from the dark past shows up in a dream, nakit! Haha. Yeah, I just laugh and think, "PU" just like with smoking dreams. But still, would rather not have them and at least I don't have cravings when I wake up. I don't know what's happening with TEW's boyfriend who has regular smoking dreams. Hope for his sake it's a phase that will quickly pass...
  17. Is 8 minutes kind of the norm, because I am not sure... I eat really slowly (it pains the people around me) so I feel like it took me at least 10 minutes per smoke...and I will add another 5 minutes onto that because after smoking I would feel pretty awful and wouldn't function well for a few minutes...and would usually be finishing coffee, as well... so 10 cigarettes times 15 minutes of basically non-functioning = 150 minutes = 2.5 hours per day or 17.5 hours per week 70 hours per month 840 hours per year which is like smoking continuously for 35 days straight. Can that be right??? That would mean one month out of every year dedicated solely to smoking????????
  18. cpk

    Where are you?

    5 months 1 day time/space quit continuum by actual calendar, not quit anniversary date (exactly 20 weeks and a day - today)
  19. cpk

    MIA no more

    No one has yet answered your question about if it is normal to have strong urges after a year. I am presently only 5 months quit and don't feel fully qualified to answer you on this. However, as someone who (years ago) gave up a seven year quit, I would say that yes, the urge hit me back then after seven smoke free years, and I gave in. It has taken me a long time to start up another serious quit, and I guess now I am facing the fact that there will be times when the urge may be strong. I don't think this urge comes out of nowhere. It could be that a bit of "romancing smoking" has been going on under the radar...or there is a lot of stress...or maybe boredom...or other negative emotions that need to be heard. I have been having smoking dreams lately, which was initially disturbing, but according to Joel, perfectly normal. Since you are just a little ways beyond the one year mark, maybe your guard was down a bit, and and lo and behold, that addicted part of your brain was back to haunt you, and to test how serious you are with your quit. When everything gets too dramatic and serious for me in my quit (which is a bit too often) I try to lighten up, and treat myself more gently. I actually try to go back to how I treated myself the first month or two. I try to reduce stress where I can, drink more water, get more sleep. Smoking is not the answer but our brain got stupidly programmed to believe this, and thousands of cigarettes reinforced the idea. But this isn't our new normal. As you wrote, the new normal of not smoking is wonderful. As for the smoker's dreams...I have dreams about all kinds of crazy stuff...but I don't wake up and think I am going to consciously do stuff that happened in my dreams. Since I watched Joel's video on smoker's dreams, and accepted them as normal and no cause for alarm...I haven't had any more... Thank you for your honest post. It has reminded me that 6-months or 1-year isn't the true goal. The goal is here and now...on this path...in the present. I am doing month 5 to 6 and you month 13 to 14...but essentially we are in the same time and space...as nonsmokers...beautifully free, and full of moxie~ so, Congrats!
  20. Congrats. Can't wait to hit that milestone. Well done you.
  21. Joel has a video on this. Sorry, don't know if I can manage to upload it here...
  22. I have developed an interest in cosmology and string theory, which is kind of scary. Somehow the gaps in time just fill in...

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