cpk

There has been some great advice offered. I just want to add that everyone says post as much as you want. There's collective wisdom here...and reading people's comments can stimulate you to come up with new ways to cope. I hadn't seen you showing up lately and wondered about you. So you are not in this alone. It could make a difference in building a very solid foundation to your quit to reach out...yell for help. I've been a real idiot on this forum, I know, but I keep coming back because my little bruised ego means nothing compared to the big war I am fighting. I think I remember you saying you have grandkids, and you want to enjoy them now, and forever, eh? That's the brass ring you want to grab and hold on to. So WHATEVER IT TAKES...IT'S WORTH IT. I'm like you...I thought I'd have a bad few first weeks then everything would be peachy keen. Not so! This is a terrible addiction. Also, DD reminded me that now cigarettes are reved up with so many chemicals... it's just not like quitting 40 years ago. This isn't just coming off tobacco. It's coming off an insidious mix of chemicals that fry the brain, and increase the potency of the addiction. Stay strong, dear one, you have people who love you and need you and showing up for them having quit smoking is to show up as Grandmom Goddess Supreme, who rocks and inspires. :wub:

nope

You absolutely must treat yourself for three months. Anything. Favorite food. Cute stuffed animal. Fancy socks! Funny new coffee cup. Something to mark this time. Success is not something to be afraid of. It's something to get used to! :) Yeah, the hard days suck. Had one myself this week. But how many good days are there? Those are adding up, right?

Hope you found the video you were looking for. Try distracting yourself. Watch ANY VIDEO. Yeah, maybe something to do with success.... Did you treat yourself to something nice for three months?

Tell the story, Babs, paleez...

Stars for you, Babs, for all the laughs this week. Humor really is good medicine. Love your funny pix.

Thank you. I confess, I hate the hard days. All I know right now is they are temporary. It doesn't last. How HORRIBLE it would be to throw away a quit and then to just have to start all over again. I sometimes don't want to post about the hard times...but I don't know...this time I just felt like I had to get it out and talk about it. THANK YOU, ALL. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!! :wub:

Bakon, bakon who's got the bakon.. he's not even around. I vote we not talk about him when he's just off on his hog yelling at the wind...

I voted yes to stay on, with treats here and there. I did this over the holidays and I actually felt better physically. Didn't come out of holidays feeling all guilt-ridden or bloated. Diet should be supportive...not a chore. Since quitting I have allowed for some excess, but now am starting anew and eating clean. For me, the bottom line is when I eat poorly, I don't feel good. My vote is eat to feel good...and you know for yourself what that is. Diet consultant is just that...not a demi-god. haha I want Ava to be REALLY HAPPY whatever she does...

To be totally honest, I was oblivious. I didn't think about it. I do know that every female friend I had smoked as a way to stay thin. That's just how it was. I danced (ballet, modern) as a hobby, and had a lot of dancer friends and ALL DANCERS SMOKED.

HAHAHA. Just picture a stupid, young slender girl-woman with pretty good (!) shoulders toned and bared, in a black lace bustier, striking Grace Kelly pose of haughty self-confidence, with flaming dirty smoke hanging off fingers. Youth is wasted on the young, I tell ya!

Tough love doesn't much motivate me. Bakon is certainly the LAST PERSON who needs defending...as he is one tough marble head with goofy eyes, and a solid quit...and he causes me to whoop laugh a lot... For me , the most healing stuff on here is when people make me laugh. It relieves a lot of tension. I laugh a lot when I come on this forum...so thanks to ALL for edgy, dirty, hilarious, irreverent humor!!! HAHAHA. :lol2: Star to Babs this week for the chocolate bunnies, and ALL her pix. They made me whoop laugh! :rofl:

Didn't know. Need to look up. Thanks.

"He controls you. When he says jump you jump." OMG, THAT'S AWFUL AND UNBEARABLE. I need to constantly reinforce the thought that this is a battle for my freedom. It really is horrible to have become so addicted, but it's reality. Thanks. This piece does serve as a big reminder.

Congrats, once again. I'm so very happy for you! Big girl pants being handed out all around on this forum lately. Such a happy place! :)

Thank you. This is ALL GOOD. It's so good to learn from peeps who KNOW. Because how could one possibly share such thoughts with someone who hasn't been through it? I think maybe there IS some grieving in there because smoking was such a "quick fix" as a mood changer. If a smoker wants to ramp it up or tone it down one used a cigarette to do it. This is to part I hate. That at times I feel like this thing still owns me, and that upsets me. But your response was SPOT ON...because what you said is, yes, you can battle and tell thoughts to move on. ~~~ And... There is SO MUCH GOOD!!! I need to keep balancing that with the bad. That's why I put your quote up. I did quit, and I'm keeping quit, and that's already a big fight won. Big XOX's!!!

WOW! That's beautiful!

Worth rereading many times, especially in early stages of building the hardy quit.

How are you doing these days?

Sorry I'm posting so much... I have really bad insomnia tonight... So this is about a picture on my wall. When I was very young I was a professional photographer...and I took a lot of self portraits. (before selfies, before cell phones!) To do a self portrait you had to set the camera and run across the room...I had a polaroid camera with a self timer I liked to use for selfies... In the photo I'm in a fan back chair all glamed up, and super thin and toned and looking all relaxed and swish but tonight I looked closer, and almost off the edge of the picture is a cigarette dangling from my fingers... DIRTY GIRL! I remember how I ate only an apple a day and smoked like a fiend and did everything with a cigarette in my hand even worked in the darkroom while chain smoking And I just wanted to reach in and snatch that cigarette out of that hand. STUPID GIRL! Not so pretty. I'll keep the picture up to remind me.

:wub: Congrats. Very inspiring. JIGGITY JOY! :wub:

nope

I was out walking around and I smelled something and it was like what the hell is that, there's no bakery around here, and it was like perfumed air, like I was in Paradise or something then I realized I was smelling...flowers! :wub:

bakon...don't get my dander up unless you have something to say I can use this week on this one... :dirol: To ALL Quit Goddesses ~~~ Has this kind of thing happened to you? Guys wearing big guy pants?

There's a new barn manager. She put up a new sign: NO SMOKING ANYWHERE. SERIOUSLY. You need to walk all the way out to the road and smoke there. SERIOUSLY. The old barn manager was a smoker and allowed people to smoke in their cars or trucks. Like, seriously, the "road" is about a quarter of a mile from the barn. When I saw this sign I smiled. It's just one more thing I like about the new barn manager. She's protecting everyone...people, horses, and not to mention smoking around a barn and hay is a serious fire risk. If I still smoked this would be an "issue" I'd have to confront, with a lot of anxiety. Instead, I just smiled. That's freedom!