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I hate this. I hate quitting and I hate smoking. I keep thinking that one act will take this feeling away. And I know what you're gonna say.... In 20 minutes it will be back. But I never wait for it to come back. I'm smoking another one to AVOID this. I keep thinking..... Is smoking really THAT bad ? People get cancer ALL THE TIME that have never smoked. I hate my brain. I really want to not have to smoke anymore. So I'm thinking positive. I want more energy. I want to live longer and I want to be healthier. I might even want to be a body builder one day. I doubt it but there's a chance.

I'm sitting here doing paperwork and I keep looking for my cigarettes. My brain doesn't get it. lol

Yes. We start on Tuesday..... pretty darn exciting for this little company.

Yes ma'am, I have.

If this was true..... I would have never started smoking. My whole teenager years was spent on mushroom, acid and ecstasy. lol

Ok, the journey has started. Just put out my last cigarette. I know it's stupid.... but had to finish that pack. Didn't want to waste....... and so I chose to poison myself instead of just chunking them. Sounds silly doesn't it ?

Jimmy, you are so sweet. Thank you Babs. I got it. We just got a 25,000 dollar donation yesterday. And we have 6 months to spend it. I think I can do that. lol

before today ends. I hate these things. I mean really hate them. I hate the way they make me feel. I hate the way my lungs feel full all the freaking time. I hate the taste of them. I hate everything about them. So why can't I just put them down ? I feel like I don't have time to go through the damn withdrawals. I don't have the time or the energy to battle this. But I'm sick of them. So stinking sick of them. I have to make the time. and please keep the board up.... some of us really need y'all here when we need you.

I'm right here. I came back and the board was gone. Then life got in the way. I'm coming back. Give me a day or two. I'm exhausted. But I'll be back.

bumped for Evelyn..... I know your watching...... please sign in.

Thanks y'all. I'm not smoking. I'm eating dinner and then going to bed. See y'all tomorrow.

I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I was up all night last night. I keep thinking I picked the wrong time. It's a stressful week and my emotions and energy level are already running high. I just want to relax. I keep thinking I can relax if I could just smoke one. That infamous one. The one that never exists. I know all the answers. Keep going. It's gonna get better. Just not feeling it. But I am on day 3 and if I smoke, then I'll be back to day one. Still here. Still quit. But not the happy go lucky self I was yesterday about it.

Still here..... still quit. Come on day 3 !!!

Still here. Still quit. Just running busy as hell.

I have eaten a whole bag of Tostito's with spinach dip. I wanna eat instead of smoke but then when I get full, I wanna smoke. lol Time. I need more time to adjust to this. It will change. Wow. Didn't even know I had that little buggar. I will definitely write on it. I did take a nap. A short one cause as soon as I closed my eyes, my phone started blowing up. Hadn't rang all day....... until then. Thank you for showing me I have a blog. I have never had a blog before. lol Thank you !!!! I am marching on. Smoke free. I am not trusting my brain right now so I am ignoring it. It's not used to that......

Ok, so I guess I'm doing this ride again..... Cause I wanna smoke. I'm gonna take a break and a nap. Hopefully, when I wake up, this feeling will be gone

I did it !!!! Time isn't right but it's close enough

Yes, I did. It doesnt' come up. I'm pretty sure it's cause I don't know what I'm doing. I'll try again later.

I don't have a blog. Not sure how to do that. Or if I want to. Time is an issue with me. Still can't figure out the damn ticker thingy I will say the monkey has shown his face..... keep thinking I picked the wrong time to quit. And feeling quite dizzy. Something I don't need this week. But is there ever a "right" time to quit ? I have waited 4 damn years for that right time. Keep waiting for that lightening bolt moment. Hasn't come yet. So making my own lighting bolt. Dizzy.... shit, if that's the least of my worries....I'm doing pretty darn good. lol

I solemnly swear not to smoke today.

Why does making a ticker have to be so damn hard ???? I wanna see how much I haven't smoked !!!! :rtfm:

Please come back. I know the feeling of failing so many times and feeling like people have given up on you. Don't listen to that. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Although you view anyone and everyone on here as a "friend', the truth is you're not here to make friends. You're here to quit. No matter how many times it takes. And I need a quit buddy. I would like it to be you. Will you take this journey with me ? Not as a friend. But as a partner. A quit partner.

Thanks y'all. I am quit. I understand the fear is worse than the quit. I will conquer that fear. Resulting in a successful quit. I really do appreciate the support.

Thank you BAT. It's quite the humbling experience.......

I didn't quit. But today is my birthday and I have decided to give myself a quit. I might be living on here for a while after all. I don't want to but it seems that is going to be a requirement as I don't have the strength to do this by myself. So I'm back.