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I have to ask the same thing. Why are you in the smoker room ? Did you have an orgasm ?

That is freaking AWESOME !!!!! I love it. I play the congos..... but I suck at it. lol It's fun though.

Hey, I am so sorry. The other day, I was leaning over my washing machine. It's one of those tall ones. And I heard this pop noise. Well, I really thought I had broken a freakin rib. But after finally going to the doctor yesterday, cause I didn't think they would do anything for a broken rib anyways and I hate going to the doctor, I had an xray done and no, it's not a broken rib but a severely pulled muscle. And this freaking hurts like a mother ducker. So she put me on muscle relaxers....... last thing I need is a muscle relaxer but here I am forced to take it if I want relief. So last night and this morning I finally got to sleep. Slept till 9 this morning. Called the office and told them I wasn't coming in and then laid there feeling like a whiney biatch for missing work over a pulled muscle. So ended up going in and now I'm home back on the muscle relaxer. But the good news is...... I'm still smoke free. Even if I wanted to smoke.... I don't think I could breathe in deep enough to make a difference. Good thing I don't want to. Something that I thought was interesting though..... I was talking to the doctor and I had told her I quit. I havent' really told anyone yet. And she was saying that if a smoker gets a "frozen" shoulder, that they will never heal from it. That the toxins in cigarettes cause the body to create adhesions that are different from a non smokers and that they cannot be repaired like a non smokers. I don't know why I was awed by that so much. I mean we all know smoking is harmful to the lungs and cardiac systems..... and it really does affect your whole body in so many other ways also. But to create an unrepairable adhesion ? I'm going to investigate that a little further..... for my own curiosity. Ok, I'm obviously babbling here. Have a good night and I will check in again tomorrow.

Still smoke free.....

That's what I'm doing. Just riding the horse till it dies. Yes I was. Lol. I am in awe that you said that. This is exactly what I have been associating it with all day. I haven't felt or thought that I want a cigarette. What I have thought is that this is just part of the process and once this is done, I will never have to go through this again. Still keeping my eye on Rome........

Just checking in..... Feeling rather emotional today (not like I'm going to cry or anything. Just kinda sad) Not sure why but feeling like I lost a friend. I'll be ok. I think it's called romanticizing it. Still smoke free.

I did not get screwed.... thank goodness. He was actually pretty darn fair. lol And my son ROCKED IT at the ball field !!! I am still smoke free. 3 weeks today. My ticker is wrong by one day and I can't seem to figure it out to correct it. It's that GST time..... who the hell has GST time around here ? lol I'm still reading my Allan Carr..... probably not AS MUCH as I should but getting in as much as I can. I'm on my way to Rome. Can't wait to see y'all.

I will do whatever it takes to not smoke. I actually think I am coming through the curve now. I'm having good days where I'm not thinking about it much. And should I have a bad one and I REALLY think I'm fixing to take that horrid plunge...... I will come on here. I probably shouldn't have said that this morning. It just kinda took me off guard. I know y'all do. And I am very thankful for all the help I have received. I have often thought of things said now and in past quits. And for whatever reason..... maybe cause I am ready...... I am finally hearing y'all. I feel bad that I said that. I'm so sorry. I do appreciate it very much.

That's fair. Thank you. I may have taken it personally cause we just had this same conversation on another thread. I apologize for that.

Can you please elaborate on this ? ^^^^^ My thoughts ? I don't understand why we have to keep discussing this. Ok, I'm not the junkie sitting on the side of the road in NOLA. The tree sitting in the road was my refusal (remember, it's a choice) to quit smoking. This does not qualify me as an addict. Nor does it you. But if it works for you to call yourself that, then by all means, do what works for you. I'm not going to try to convince you that you're not. Just don't smoke. But I will say this..... I will NEVER address on here if I'm struggling again. Because all you're going to do is tell me I'm struggling cause I refuse to admit that I am some sort of addict in denial. It can't be something as simple as I am addicted to nicotine and still trying to process through it. No, it has to be that I HAVE TO HAVE A LABEL ON MY HEAD. And somehow, this label will take away any struggle I am going through. I call BULLSHIT. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I smoked, I made that CHOICE. My thoughts. And obviously, it's going to be an ongoing thing to change them. So I get to choose on here if I want to label myself as an addict or sit back and let y'all label me as hard headed, stubborn or an addict in denial. Do what y'all need to do. Oh and by the way MQ, I thought I was taking it to the next level. I haven't smoked.

How are you doing today Miss Evelyn ?

Just saw this. Good job Ruby !!! keep on going..... And keep us posted on your success. It really does help motivate others.

Beacon, thank you very much. I think you just nailed it. An addiction does not, for me, have to define who I am. Sazerac, I never doubted for a second your support for me. And I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate it. You have been a life line that I will forever be grateful for. It's ok for any and all of us to disagree on something and keep moving forward. What works for one may not work for another but as a dear friend used to say all the time..... All roads lead to Rome. Let's just all get to Rome. I am still smoke free. And right now, probably getting royally screwed in places I dont' want to be screwed getting my brakes changed. And then watching my little guy play ball. Thank you so much. I will continue checking in as it does help holding me accountable. I will probably need to do this for a while.

Ruby, are you still with us ?

You're absolutely amazing Evelyn. You keep doing what you're doing cause you are ROCKING IT !!!!!

^^^^^. THIS ^^^^^. Is what I will have one day. And I'm getting there one day at a time. If you feed the monster, he will live. If you don't, he will die. When he dies, he no longer exists. At some point, one has to be responsible for their own life and their own actions. Thank you Sharon. I needed to see this.

It doesn't matter what I take it as. Personal or not is of no importance here. You have backed me into a no win situation. If I should have a hard time again, it's because I won't succumb to your ideals that I'm an addict. And therefore I am doomed. As evidenced by your extreme punctuation of "You Will Fail". Or I can "claim" that I'm an addict. Those are my options. Smoke or confess. I won't do either. I will do what is best for me. And that is not looking at a post that is going to tell me that I cannot do this. I can. And I will. On a "personal" level, should you be interested..... Yeah, that kinda hurt. But nothing I can't handle. I'm a big girl with my big girl panties. You won.

Evelyn, Don't smoke. Sugar is sugar. It's nothing more. It doesn't demand that you smoke after you eat it. As a matter of fact, it makes no demands at all. You have a beautiful quit. Keep it going.

Thank you Stu. I honestly thought that the whole idea was to QUIT smoking. Something I really want to accomplish.

I think I am being misunderstood. I am not in denial about addiction. I understand that nicotine, in any form, is an addiction. I understand that I am addicted to it while in the acting of partaking in any form of nicotine. I also understand that I am fighting an addiction when I cease to engage in nicotine in any form. But to FOREVER state that I am an addict.......I don't believe that we have to limit ourselves to that title. Again, when do we acknowledge our CHOICE ? When the nicotine is out of your system, your chemical alterations have healed, then at that point..... To light up is a choice. Not because one is an addict. I don't understand why I have to conform to a title to succeed. Really Sarge ? Ok, thanks. I will definitely do that. IF and WHEN I smoke. Right now, I am CHOOSING not to smoke. To everyone else, I didn't mean for this to happen. I am very sorry. I will continue to read and I will continue to do what I need to do to not smoke. And thanks for the support.

Don't shame me. Because I don't want to limit myself with a title. So those that scream they are addicts, don't have a hard time quitting ? Those that scream they are addicts NEVER relapse ? I never once said it wasn't an addictive substance. And I also stated that it does alter our chemical makeup. But to say I'm an addict for the rest of my life ???? No sir. I have a choice whether to smoke or not, therefore, I make the choice to title myself an addict. But don't even try to shame me into believing that the reason I have "struggled" is because I'm not conforming to a title that I think I can overcome. One can not be an addict if they are not practicing the addiction. I do not want to argue. But I don't want to be shamed into accepting your theory just because it works for you.

Thank you !!!!! Yes ma'am. Decision made. :-)

I will say though my thoughts/ feelings on this may change as time goes on. Let me get to the other side and look back and I may see things more clearer then. I'm not against saying I'm an addict..... But only, if in fact, it is true. It's my body. I have a hard time saying that I cannot control my own body. It takes time to learn how to do it.......but can be done.

. No. You are not projecting. I have and always have had a difficult time stating that I am an addict. Tiffany and addict do not go well in the same sentence. There is a level of contradiction with the term "addict" and then stating that we, as addicts, "choose" to smoke. Do I believe that nicotine alters our neurosensory function/ status ? Of course. Do I believe that we have a choice in changing that ? Absolutely. I am aware of all of the terms that nicotine or smoking engages us to sign up for when we take that first puff. However, to say that I am an addict implies weakness. I am not a weak person. Lack of self control. A characteristic that I do not possess......although I do tend to possess it when speaking sometimes. Per definition: To state that one is an addict is to state that they are dependent on a particular substance. Although, we are physically dependent on it while we are doing it (smoking) does not necessarily enforce the belief that we are dependent on it once we stop using it. Where do you give yourself credit for changing your way of life ? Where do you state that I CHOOSE to better my life by my own actions or, in this care, lack of action ? Once you state that, then the term addiction is not an aspect of your life any longer. It is all you. I choose to not smoke. When I chose to smoke, or relapse, I chose to do that too. To me, saying I'm an addict justifies my choosing to kill myself. I want to be above that. Does this make sense ? Please please understand I'm not arguing with you. I just want to be a complete person. Not a person with a deficit.

Thank you. Please understand y'all, when I say I don't want to be on here, it's not because I don't appreciate y'all's support. I do. I could not do this without y'all. I just don't know how to handle the negative feelings that are associated with quitting. And it makes me want to run off. I think.....ha ha, I know I have commitment issues and committing to this has been really really hard. But I'm doing it and I'm going to spend the rest of my life as a non smoker. Never done that before. Lol. I think the meditation yoga will help a lot. I'm a VERY energetic little person so calming my thoughts down will be a tremendous help. Life is good. And I like it that way.