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Are you unhappy about this ? Does it bother you that you still feel like smoking ?

Still here. Still quit. But sick. :-( hope everyone is doing good.

Didn't Stewie have like 6-7 months of quit on him ? Was he struggling ?

:(

I am actually looking forward to this weekend. I have pet pigs and I am winterizing their pens this weekend. They absolutely LOVE it when I get it finished. So I will be busy most of the weekend. No craves will happen this weekend. And if they do, then I will go smell the hay and not worry about whether I am going to accidentally set it on fire with my cigarettes.

I don't wanna..... lol I want to sleep. I want to relax and sleep. I'm not struggling. It was just a thought that went through my head..... several times. Not anything I want to act on. Kinda like when you're driving behind someone going 10 miles an hour and you think you wanna strangle them...... but then you move past them and you have already forgotten all about the murderous emotion you were experiencing 5 seconds ago. I'm not even sure I know HOW to do inner work.

So yesterday, being quit, makes the longest period of time since I started smoking over 35 years ago that I have not smoked one cigarette. So this is how my brain is working......"I have gone 38 days now not smoking. My next quit I can do 39 days." Who in the hell thinks like this ????. I swear there is something wrong with me. This cannot be normal. But I'm still quit and have no plans to EVER go back to smoking.

How are you doing Tyme ? Been thinkin about ya.

3 years. Wow. That is awesome Rez !!!! And you found love ?? That's even better. She can be smokin hot..... just make sure she's not a smoker. Lol

You know what Tyme, Sunday was really hard on me. To be honest, I think that was probably the closest I came to just giving up. I was actually plotting out a relapse. But the thought that kept me going was that what I imagine that cigarette to be and what it actually is..... is completely different. I wanted that "ahhh" feeling, you know what I mean. That comfort tool. Kinda like a binky to a baby. But that ahhh feeling never happens. The first cigarettes are nasty and you can actually taste the poison in them. Then once you acclimate to tasting that vileness again..... your right back to where you started. Smoking. Damaging your lungs. All of that for the illusion of this "wonderful" fix. It's not what we think it is. It's not your friend. It's not your companion and it's definitely not worth your life. It's okay to miss it. But understand what you're missing. And fill that void with something healthy. I chose celery. And a water bottle. And deep breathing. Oxygen CAN really be your new drug.

Tyme, How are you doing ? I see you were craving this morning.... or yesterday morning (I can never tell what day anyone posts with the times being so whacked on here). Please check in. And talk/ vent/ scream here if you need to. Or simply acknowledge it and ignore it. But don't give in to it. The ride is still going...... this part may not be as much fun but you're getting closer to the sun shine filled days that it will slow down to a nice breeze blowing through your hair.

Today ROCKS !!!!! This bipolar journey is presenting today as a very good day. No craves at all. I know this sounds silly.... but the weekdays are so much easier to deal.

I would think after 21 months having a piece of tobacco stuck in your gum would have caused an abscess. I would tend to agree with Bakon and that your brain made some sort of connection causing the illusion of stale tobacco smells. But whatever it is.... good riddance.

I am still here and still quit. I have figured out that if I am idle for longer than 5 minutes......this is what is causing HUGE triggers for me. I have to stay busy which isn't hard but sitting down for a few minutes and I'm wanting to smoke. Today was much better. The weekends are a biatch. And today....(don't judge me) I threw away my favorite ashtray. I used to just put them away in case I didn't keep my quit going and then I wouldn't have to go buy another one. But THIS ONE was my favorite. It was one of them glow in the dark ones. It stank to high heaven. Now off to eat dinner with some friends....my very very close friend is in town and is leaving tomorrow. T2B, you are doing awesome amazing. Keep on going. Every day will get better and better from here. I'm so proud of you.

WOW !! CONGRATULATIONS !!! 3 YEARS IS THE BOMB !!!! You are such an asset here and I know, personally, I cannot thank you enough for all your help. Thank you so much for sticking around and helping those behind you. :D

I'm still here. I edited it cause I shouldn't have even posted it. It's stupid to even be feeling like this. I know what to do, I know what you're gonna say. I need to do this on my own and quit relying on anyone to pull me out of it. Something was said to me a few days ago that is wreaking havoc on my thinking. I will get past it. I'm not going to smoke. Right now, i keep remembering all the times I gave up and how I hated it. That is the strongest feeling I have to NOT giving in. Even when my drive to continue is down, that memory is what is keeping me going at this time. I'm sorry I posted in this thread. I just panicked.

Edit

Feeling down is normal...... Talk to us. ALOT. We will do whatever we can to make this easier on you. And who knows, we might even make you smile.

Tyme, So good to see you again. I am glad you're here. But most importantly, that you haven't given up. You can do it. You have the strength. It's just getting you to see that. If you REALLY want it.... It's yours for the taking. And it doesn't cost you a dime. Welcome aboard. Put your seat belt on and enjoy the ride. It's the ride of a lifetime.

I'm still here. And still quit.

I'm here. Just been really busy. Had a heck of a time yesterday. But I'm still here.

1. Are you named after someone? A movie, but not a person 2. When is the last time you cried? Can't remember. I don't cry easily 3. Do you like your handwriting? Yes 4. What is your favorite processed lunch meat? Turkey 5. Do you have kids? Yes, 2. 6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes 7. Do you use sarcasm? All the freaking time. I have a teenager that knows everything. 8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes 9. Would you bungee jump? No, but I would jump out of a plane. Not tied to anything then 10. What is your favorite cereal? Corn Pops 11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. But then again, I hardly ever wear shoes. I think they should be illegal. 12. Do you think you are a strong person? No 13. What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Mousse Royale 14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their hands 15. Red or pink? Red 16. What is the least favorite thing you like about yourself? My lack of patience 17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Blue and no shoes. 18. What was the last thing you ate? Seafood trash and stuffed grilled mushrooms 19. What are you listening to right now? Seagulls 20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Brown 21. Favorite smell? Puppy breath 22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My son 23. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball 24. Real hair color? Brown 25. Eye color? Brown 26. Do you wear contacts? Yes 27. Favorite food to eat? Spaghetti 28. Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies 29. Last movie watched? Premonition 30. What book are you reading? None 31. What is on your mouse pad? Dolphins 32. What is the last TV program you watched? Judge Judy 33. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? Rolling Stones 34. What is the farthest you've traveled? Mexico 35. Do you have any special talents? Dancing 36. Where were you born? Kirksville, Missouri

Sandi, It has NEVER been easy for me. I have quit a trillion times in the last 4 years. The longest I made was one month but for the most part, it was from a couple of hours to a week. The first few times I quit, I would freak the hell out. But I'm a high strung person that analyzes the shit out of everything. I have tried quit smoking replacements, cold turkey, cutting down (that one was a joke). And I can honestly say all of them SUCKED BALLS !!!! There have been times I would "quit" and then disappear for months. I think this last time...it's been close to, if not at, a year. I just ended up accepting the fact that I was going to die smoking. We all have to die of something, right ? So the one thing that remained constant is.... I would give up and smoke. And then when I did quit again....I would have to go through it all over again. It does suck. But if you only do it once.....then you won't ever have to do it again. Or you could be like me, going 4 years smoking and then wishing you had just gone through it all 4 years ago and knowing that today....you would be free of all of it. It's not easy. But it is simple. All it simply takes.... Is not smoking. The thoughts of it will go away. The emotions will calm down. The desire will dissipate. You just have to trust and believe. Neither you or I are any different than those that have quit before us. We will, one day very soon, have the same comfort as them.

I did. I tell ya..... one of the biggest triggers is lack of sleep. Barreled through yesterday and still smoke free today !!! I still find it amazing how the brain still tries to convince me to throw a quit away. It's little whispers now but still there.... you just have to ignore it. This is where I am doing it different from the last failed attempts..... I used to get the whisper and then I would think about it until I caved. This time..... I think about it and then question what I'm thinking. And then before I know it...... I'm thinking of something else. Still heading to Rome.

Sandi, I cannot even put into words how proud I am of you. You are one of the strongest women I know. And I have to say........ YOU FREAKING ROCK !!!!!!!!! :D