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I like this thread...... I have read it many times today. It's definitely a good one.

Juan, we both need to change our mindset....... You have completed 2 days !!!! I know that seems like just a little part but think about all the times you couldn't make it past one day. I remember you saying once that you start a new quit every morning. And here you are now starting day 3 !!!! You have tripled what you once could not do. I am sorry you argued with your mum, but mum's are tough. We just keep it a secret from our children. Apologize to her and let her know how much you love her and I feel pretty confident she will forgive you. And hopefully, you can forgive yourself. Cause I can assure you that cigarette won't help you with any emotions that you might have. It will just make you feel nasty. And disappointed. Your doing awesome !!! I hope you keep posting cause your helping me with your posts and the responses you get........ and I like seeing you smoke free.

I have a neighbor and her and I have son's close in age and so we have become quite close. Well, I just got some goats from the County Fair that were going to be auctioned for slaughter. And they are staying in her pasture right now until this weekend. Which requires me being over there every night for the next few nights. So tonight, I head over there. And I'm feeling a little worried cause we sit on her porch alot and smoke and talk and just chill out. And as I walk in, she hands me a cigarette for us to do our normal routine. Now this is the place where I have relapsed SOOOOO many times. I took the cigarette, walked outside and put it in the ashtray. I never lit it and I didn't smoke it. And it sat there. She smoked and I didn't. So she finally says to me "am I the bad guy now?" And she basically just tried to talk me into smoking just that one. I didn't really know what to say. It messed with my mind. I could almost taste her cigarette. I had to come home and brush my teeth just to get it out of my mouth. I know that's mental but it was so real. So we walk out into the pasture, as I have to feed and water the goat and I asked her very gently if she could not give me anymore cigarettes. I told her that I really wanted to quit this time. And what she said back to me was "if you ever want one, you know all you have to do is come over." I just thanked her. I was a little disappointed that she said that but then again, I have relapsed so many times, I can kinda understand why. Part of me is so proud of myself that I set it up for her to respect my quit. But then part of me is a little weirded out. Somehow it seems like a finality. I don't know if that makes sense or not. Although I am glad I am quit again, I do have a little sadness about it. I associate smoking with so many things, so many emotions. It's amazing how much power I have given to a cigarette. Day 3 starting tomorrow.

I used them all day today. :-) Kinda went like this......"B*@#h, you smoke and I'm positive I'm gonna kick your ass."

I vow to not smoke today. Day 2 and marching forward.

I don't know but I'm laughing so hard over here. I thought Sarge made his grandpa a bowl of prunes. I guess I can't see the picture too well.

Amy and Iam, Tomorrow will be the best day. That's the day you decided to save your own life. How cool is that ??? You can't beat that with a stick, now can ya ? Drink lots of water, eat a banana, post often and remember, this too shall pass. And if you REALLY feel like smoking, blow some SNOT into your brain. Smoking Not Option Today. Y'all can do it !!!!

Hi there Soul. I am so glad you are here........

I pledge to not smoke today. Not even just one.

This has been my downfall EACH. AND. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I end up telling myself I enjoy smoking. That I like the way it makes me feel..... relaxed, calm. I run my butt off every day at work and then come home to my son and it's all baseball every night just about. What's wrong with having just one ? I work hard and I deserve to have one thing that I enjoy, for me, that I can indulge in. I can have one every once in a while and I will just quit again. My friends smoke. The lady in the car next to me sitting on the freeway is smoking. And she looks so freaking relaxed, enjoying her cigarette after working all day. My neighbor smokes and we enjoy sitting out on the back patio and smoking, talking about our lives and the kids. Her son is my second son and vice versa. Ok, I'll just have one with her and no harm will be done. Friends have a crawfish party. Ok, I will just smoke one or two tonight and tomorrow, I'll go back to quitting. I feel better since I havent' smoked in 2 weeks/ 1 week (however long it might be), surely, I can have one. I won't even smoke the whole thing. Problem is.... I never have just one. Within 2 hours, I'm at the store buying a whole pack. I will smoke what I need tonight and in the morning, I will give what I have left to the neighbor. And then when I wake up...... I'm smoking just that one and then I will leave the rest here. Oh screw it, I'll just smoke the rest of this pack and then I won't buy anymore. Well crap, I can't quit in the middle of the day. I'll just get one more pack and I'll quit again tomorrow. I have been doing this for over a year. It's gotten pathetic. So today, I quit again and I have been thinking really hard. What is it about cigarettes that I keep going back to them ? Truth be told, I enjoy smoking. I hate the way they make me feel...... but I don't relax unless I'm smoking. It's time out for me. I am running around all day and night tending to others that the only time I have time for me is when I am smoking. And I'm scared. Scared that I will never feel that calm that y'all talk about. I get so full of anxiety when I stop smoking, I think..... well y'all don't have this problem, no wonder you feel peace. I won't ever get that cause if I don't smoke, I have no clue how to unwind. I don't disagree that knowledge is power and that education is the key, but there is an emotional tie I have to puffing away that is the hardest thing for me to overcome. Somewhere, somehow though, I am going to have to make a committment. Truly decide which direction I want to go and commit to it. And I WANT to quit smoking. I want to be able to breathe again without struggling and I want to set an example for my son and for myself. I know I can do this. I just have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get there (SoberJulie said that once and I really really like that). So here I am again..... feeling embarrassed and silly. But I am not going to give up. I want to quit smoking. I really really do. I'm getting worried I have done so much damage now that I can't undo. But I can at least give my poor body a chance to try and undo maybe some of it. I don't want to die sooner than I should. I deserve more than that.

It's the weirdest thing......as I was reading this...... I found myself dancing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwFRF1sEqdo&feature=player_detailpage

Now I feel pressured with my little bird face......lol I will post a human pic after this weekend. Oh and welcome Scott !!! Glad you FINALLY made it here.... :P

That is freaking AWESOME Hat !!!!! And Colleen !!

MOMMA !!!!!! It's good to see you !!!! Glad you made it. :D

The mind is an amazing thing...... Did you know that if you smile (fake or not) that it stimulates certain triggers in your brain that will turn your mood around to being more cheerful and happy. I'm not talking about jumping up and down happy, but just a serene happiness. And the smile doesn't even have to be real. The brain has no clue it's a fake smile. It just has a job to do and it does it based on what you tell it to do. Also if you are petting your cat or dog, it lowers your blood pressure. I think that's pretty cool too. I dont' think it works on hamsters though.

You don't look like a fish at all !!! and your not even blue...... Your beautiful. You look like a queen Queen Jenny.

Mines a donkey and he sounds like this......HEEEEE HAW !!! Unless I'm choking him and then he says.....eh eh eh eh

Sometimes it's hard to tell the who is talking and who isn't. The lies have been truth for so long that they have become real. It takes time I guess. And alot of listening.

Are we allowed to sell them on the black market ?

OLLIE !!!!!! Oh my Ms. Doreen, my favorite Doreen..... I'm so glad to see you here !!!

I'm a bird and I'm sticking to it. Wanna see my nest ? lol

I tried being a cougar once. He almost killed me. Not sure to this day if I didn't have a stroke.......

Hey Colleen, how you doing ? I'm so happy to see you here !!

Maryland Quitter...... I know we aren't supposed to say this...... But I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE you !!!!!! Your freaking AWESOME !!!!

Hi Bandito !!! Welcome to the board !!! I'm so glad you made it here.