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Hey there JD, You are doing so fabulous !!! Keep on marching on. No matter how hard it gets, keep your eye focused on the prize. It's right there. Every day that you are smoke free, you get a little more of the prize. Quitting smoking for some of us is not an event, but a process. And your working that process. Good job. I'm glad to hear granny is doing good. Granny's are special people.

Mountainbike Jay, You have disappeared. Will you please check in and let us know how your doing ??/ You have/ had such a powerful quit going. So strong. Please let us know if your still quit. We want to cheer you on. If you have relapsed, then we want to help. Besides we love reading your posts !!!! You can't deprive us of that, now can you ?

Susana, I knew you had it in you. You FREAKING ROCK !!!!

Dancer...... I'm looking for you. And praying that your doing ok. Please check in and let us know. I misses you. :(

Don't look for excuses Evelyn. Your a non smoker now !!! You love being a non smoker. It's just taking time for your brain to catch up. Keep on going cause your doing great !!

I am really liking this non smoking life that I am living now. So many things are coming together...... I have started to work out ALOT more. My legs are sore. My butt cheeks are sore. And I keep working them out and this time I can push myself farther cause I can actually BREATHE !!!! Before, I would have to stop to catch my breath. Yesterday, I worked out in my yard all day long and not once did I want to smoke. I felt so good !! I didnt' get tired. I didn't feel winded. My chest didn't hurt. Nothing happened. I did my yard work and when it was all done, I got to sit back and look at how much I got done. Which was a whole lot more than what I used to do. I still have urges or craves, whatever you want to call them. But they are so much easier to control now. I immediately start thinking of all the things I like about not smoking and the craves go away. Or I just ignore them and before I know it.... I'm not even thinking about them anymore. (yes, Sarge, I'm listening). I never ever thought I could ever feel this way. I watch people smoke now and I am not jealous of them. I feel kinda sorry for them. I tell everyone that they can quit. I hear so many excuses as to why they can't and my heart breaks for them. They have no clue. It's not the easiest thing, I do understand, but it's the bestest thing in the world. Well besides having children. Ok, its the second bestest thing in the world. lol I am seriously loving this !!!! And Bakon, I am praying for your wife every day. I have changed my avatar to pink to honour her. I might be a litle late cause I haven't been on here as much. But know that she's in my prayers every day.

this morning and even got really irritated. And I just realized...... I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF SMOKING !!!! I'm getting there folks. I'm actually becoming a non smoker. :-) I'm feeling quite proud of myself. Ps. Sorry I haven't been around this week. Work is work, still busy as ever. Wesley has baseball 3 nights a week plus we go to training 3 nights and I've been doing this couch to 5k and so haven't had much time. I really hope everyone is doing ok. Keep the quit. It's all worth it.

I did think about the first few weeks. That was a driving force. I am going to go back to "only today" thinking. I think the thing is that I have always thought I could not do this. I remember a while back I would do something and think to myself that I had to smoke and I would give in. This time I'm not. And for whatever reason, I'm starting to think "see, you can do it. You just proved you can so now you can control it" I am FULLY aware this is not true, but its still how I'm thinking. I did let myself down today. But I'm kinda glad it happened. The more I'm thinking about this, the more I'm realizing I don't have any control over this at all. And that's not a bad thing. The funny thing is last week sometime, I was telling my son how much sometimes I still miss it and he put a smokers lung picture as my wall paper on my phone. I see it everytime I look at my phone. Today, I needed that picture. I love him so much. He's an amazing little guy.

I left the house this morning knowing I'm going to smoke. Not a determined feeling, not sad or anything. No emotion to it at all. Just a matter of fact kind of knowing. I knew I would quit again tomorrow. I went to the store, bought the cigarettes and gave the woman 2 five dollar bills. One of them was folded. And as she is unfolding it, the cigarettes are already on the counter right in front of me. And the whole time I'm thinking......"do I really want to do this?" I ended up asking to have my money back and told the woman that I haven't smoked for almost 2 months. And she says "You don't need these, go think about this" and I walked out. I don't even know why I did this. I like not smoking. I can honestly say I feel so much better. I guess it's just the finality. Like I KNOW I'm not going to ever be able to do just one. The thing is I didn't want just one. I was going to smoke the whole pack just for today and then quit again tomorrow. I'm still smoke free but not really feeling it. I feel like I screwed up big time. I can't wait until the day this is all behind me and I can go a length of time without even thinking about this. It's weird. I cant wait until this is all over and yet I'm having a hard time dealing with the foreverness of my quit. How can I be so determined in my quit this weekend and then so ready to throw it all away for no reason at all the next day ? I don't get it.

Wow Evelyn. I am impressed. Keep going. You have made it through the roughest part. No turning back now.

He hid her cigarettes. And now he's buried in the back pasture. No one talks about it anymore..... it's a deep family secret. But she still continues to get his monthly retirement checks. No way can she afford those death sticks with just her income.

Thanks y'all !!! It's amazing how much I believe I can do this now.......

That was one of the hardest things for me to overcome was the mind fog. My line of work doesn't allow for me to be fuzzy brained. It will pass. Keep riding it. Your doing great !!

Susana, I am so glad to hear you didn't smoke. You know there are gonna be some rough patches. But you also know that the longer you stick this out.... the easier those rough patches get. Everytime we fail a quit, we reinforce the next failed quit. The time has come for us to quit playing with our minds and get this done right !! You are doing so good. Don't throw it away. Do everything you can to make this quit stick. Make the decision to do whatever it takes to get you where you want to be. And that's smokefree. YOU ROCK !!!!

They went..............................................................GREAT !!!! I had a couple minor urges as I was leaving, nothing to even speak of. Got there and didn't have any urges at all. It was almost like I had never smoked. There was one girl there, I have only met her a couple of times and don't really know her, and she was sitting next to me and literally, blowing smoke RIGHT IN MY FACE !! For one second, I thought "wow, that smells good" and then in the next second, I thought "wow, that really stinks" and then I never thought of it again. It was like I recognized it, declared it for what it really was (a toxin) and then dismissed it. All in a matter of 3-4 seconds. It was sooooo weird. And then out came the hookah's. Even Puffy was smoking one. And she turns and asks me "Tiff, you want some ?" and I looked her straight in the eye and said "No Norma, I don't smoke anymore. But thank you." And all the sudden, she starts telling me how it doesn't have nicotine in it. So guess what I did ? Absolutely nothing. For a split second, I thought about it and then never thought about it again. I don't care that it didn't have nicotine. The very act of inhaling smoke into my lungs is too much like smoking to me. I know that I would not be able to recover from that. So no need to even entertain the idea...... and so I didn't. And then I get into the car to go home and guess what I get ? A very large urge to go buy a pack of cigarettes and just smoke tonight. I can resume my quit tomorrow. Why not ? I did SOOO GOOD tonight, I should be able to smoke a few and be right back on track tomorrow. Heck I even proved it to myself how much in control I am. I can definitely do this. The brain's a funny thing. Good thing I'm the boss over mine cause I promptly told it to go screw himself. Still smoke free and loving it !!!!

Ok, truth is... I'm a little nervous. But Puffy is now smoke free, has been for 7 months and she is going to be my biggest support system there. That does help ALOT !!!! I like not smoking. I'm not giving that up for anything. But it will still be nice to have someone there that doesn't smoke and will go off with me if I need to. I don't think I will need to but if I should, then she's there...... ok, I'm leaving now. Y'all have a good day. :)

in 7 weeks and one day that I will be hanging out with my friends. I have deliberately stayed away from them as they have always been a major trigger for me. But today, I am spending the day with them. There will be smoking (alot of smoking), I know at least one will be smoking a hookah and there will be drinking. I am not ready to drink just yet. Which is no big deal for me as I'm not a big drinker anyways. But there are some big triggers with the smoking. I can't keep hiding forever. At some point, I have to do this. And today is going to be the day. Oh and did I mention..... I will be coming home smoke free. Yes, I will.

Your doing amazing !!! Keep up the good work !!

I sure do miss you. I can't wait until the big day. Your gonna do just fine. And when you come out on top, your gonna feel 10 feet tall !!!

I can see where your coming from with this...... and now it makes more sense what you were saying in that last thread. I guess I kinda think of my past relapses as being intentional, deliberate acts that I chose to do. The ONLY reason that I smoked was because I wanted to. There was no reason other than that. At this point now, I have to think to myself that they are excuses. Cause for me, mentally, if one reason is justifiable enough for me to smoke, then I can justify another to be just as good. Does that make sense ? I guess some people do need to evaluate their reasoning for relapse. I just always thought it was because one wasn't willing to go through whatever it takes to get where they want to be. At least that is what it was for me. Key word.... "was" But I do see the logic in what your saying now. Relapsing is not a learning curve. Although you can learn from it, it is not necessary in order to develop a successful quit.

I understand completely how you feel here. I loved mine too. The whole time they were killing me, I remain devoted. Your feelings will change. The more time you give yourself from that last cigarette, they will change. It's like a bad relationship..... But something tells me that once you see that sweet baby born and you get to hold him, you will be so grateful that you did quit. You will get to see him grow up. You won't have to hand him off to someone else so you can go smoke. You won't endanger his little lungs with second hand smoke. All you have to do is Jump. We will catch you.

I agree with everything you said. Except for the last line. I think it takes time and relearning that though. And I believe that's what he is doing. I think sometimes people start quitting long before they put out that last cigarette. But that's just my opinion. I do have the highest faith that he's gonna be back and one day, he will be quit for good.

But then again.....maybe I'm wrong. It's happened before.