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I'm angry. I know this is par for course on day 2. But damn man, does it HAVE to be like this ? I can't sit here and focus on me not smoking. I'm not going to smoke. I am going to take deep breaths and work through it.

and I can't log on with my IPAD which really fucks me up. I need to ge able to get on when I need to get on.

I. WANT. A. CIGARETTE !!!!! and then I don't. My anxiety level is through the roof. I want to scream and cry and throw a freaking hissy fit. I don't want to feel like this. and the only thing stopping me right this minute from going to the store and buying a pack is I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK WARDS AGAIN. I hate this.

oh and I forgot to mention.... I have eaten enough goldfish to fill the ocean 3 times. and now I'm a little worried..... I'm not going to be able to poop for a year.

I'm doing ok. It's been a little rough in patches but keep waiting 3 minutes. I have figured out if you look for an excuse to smoke, your always gonna find one. I have thought "it's raining today and it's so blah, maybe I should quit when it's sunny". Do you hear the absurdity here ? and of course, the "just one" to get through this.....I will just smoke one today and then tomorrow, I will not smoke any. Who the freak quits smoking 40 one day and none the next ? On the way home was the hardest. I wanted to stop at the store But I just started singing like Dora on "Nemo" but instead of "just keep swimming", I sang "just keep driving, just keep driving." I know it sounds gay but it worked. I made it home. And now I have pretty much barricaded myself in my room and am watching "The Purge: Anarchy". There is a sadness about not smoking. I havent' gotten it through my thick skull that cigarettes do nothing for me. But I'm going to fix that. With y'all. Everytime I feel like I'm getting stupid in my thoughts, then I'm going to just be honest with y'all and I know that I will absorb what y'all tell me. I'm tired of smoking.

I feel like a caged animal. No where to retreat. To escape this feeling. Makes one very angry girl. 3 minutes counting down.....over and over And thank you for the support everyone.

That's what I'm fixing to become. I'm going to lean on y'all quite a bit. I WANT TO QUIT SMOKING !! I hate this. If you don't want to support me, then please just don't respond. But please don't be hard on me. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself right now and quite frankly, I'm scared to death. Minute by minute is how I'm gonna take this. And for a while, I might be posting a lot. Today......I'm not smoking. I will be making a ticker sometime today also. I think I can do this now. I'm really sick and tired of being stuck in this rut. And I'm the only one that can change it. Thanks in advance.

Mike, I am like you. I am having a harder time quitting now than I have ever had. I can't seem to make it past a day. I don't even know why except I'm scared shitless of the withdrawals. I know it's all in my mind but I can't seem to get around it. So I wanna make a deal with you ? How about we do this together ? That no matter what we do, BEFORE we pick up a cigarette, that we post on here. We reach out. Even if we have to do it 20 times a day for a while. Will you do this with me ? Please.

I vow to not smoke today.

I vow to not smoke today.

I vow to not smoke today. Day 3 of the year.

I vow to not smoke today. Day 2 of 2015. I will not smoke one puff this whole year. One day at a time.

I vow to not smoke today. It is 12:01 am in the new year and I will not smoke one smoke in the year of 2015. But today, I promise not to smoke.

a very much loved man that was so influential to so many of us passed away. Please take a moment of your day today and think of John, aka JWG. He was such a special person and the board lost a very unique member that put things in perspective in such a humorous, thought provoking approach. His death could be any one of us and he ultimately paid the price for his addiction. And I miss him. And so does his family. Love your wife, your husband, your children every day. You never know when they too, will pay the price for your addiction. None of us are promised tomorrow. Make today the best day of the rest of your life.

I'm still here. And still quit.

Talk about a mind ****. I wonder if I should smoke crack to get off the cigs........ I would probably be able to work more, so I could make more money, so I could buy more crack, so I could work more....... I brought the thread up trying to figure out something. Not cause I wanted to offer him an ecig.

I was having a bad day yesterday. And voiced it. But then last night, deleted it. I wish that quitting did cause one to feel so much anger and depression. But it doesn't really matter. I know all this, right ? Been through it a thousand times already. Thanks for checking up on me though. : )

I am confused. Are you the one and same ? this baffles me.

.......

That's what I'm saying. Society, including me, tolerates smoking and views it to be more socially acceptable than heroin addiction. But the truth is, it's not. I agree with Nancy. I feel more of an effort should be taken by our society to assist with cessation of this addiction and that should include inpatient treatment.....or a boot camp, as Nancy called it. We have treatment facilities available for all kinds of addiction....sex, food, drugs, anorexia, you name it. In every major city, you can find a treatment place. But look for one for smoking.....a leading cause of death in America, and you won't find one. We even have fat farms for goodness sake. That, somehow, doesn't make sense to me. Pity ? I don't pity myself. Not sure I can pity someone else. There's a belief system with smoking that we deeply ingrained into our psyche. I feel immature and uneducated. But not pitied. And that's the way I feel about most smokers. It's very difficult for some of us to break that belief system.

I have 2 friends. They are husband and wife. They both quit a year and 3 days ago. Tonight, we were out at a party on the water and we are all drinking and she is smoking. She smokes when she's drinking. He doesn't smoke at all. He put them down and never picked up another one. Tomorrow, she won't smoke again until she goes out and drinks again. Which may be weeks from now. I can't figure out why or how she does that. He says he can't do that. That if he did what she did, he would be back to his 2 packs a day in a heartbeat. But somehow, she can pull this off. I can't say I was jealous of her or that I pitied her. I can't do that. I'm like him. I have one and I'm back to right where I left off within the hour. I don't really know where I'm going with this....... I guess I was just wondering how 2 people can be so different with a quit and still be somewhat successful. It just struck me as odd, that's all.

I understand what your saying but I have to say......... I see them on the streets all the time. With their IV poles, IV meds, and monitors still attached to them. Just like the junkie sitting in the dark corners of our cities dying slowly and quietly. There is no difference in the addicted, the only difference is how they are viewed by the rest of the world.

I totally get this Nancy. I have thought about that same exact thing. If there was a place I could go, that would help me with this......I would do it in a heartbeat. It's not about comparing it to heroin.....it's about beating a habit that so many struggle with. Take away the availability of cigarettes and I think you would see the addiction is very much like heroin. Or meth. Or crack. Addiction is addiction. What your addicted to is trivial. I think there would be a higher success rate if one was offered this opportunity. Nicotine gives the illusion of being a stress reliever. If I could go somewhere where the daily stresses of life were on hold for awhile and I could only deal with quitting.......I think I would have a lot more confidence in my quit. Once I got my quit established, then go back to the real world and learn how to live in it without smoking. Smoking has become acceptable in our society. While it may be banned from many places, there is still a level of acceptance with smoking. And a level of tolerance with smokers. I can step away from a birthday party to go smoke a cigarette and no one thinks twice about it. But if I was to step away to go smoke a pipe of meth.....then someone might speak up. People don't take smoking as serious as any other drug. And that's costing a lot of people their lives. More education needs to take place.....more awareness of how it does destroy lives and eventually families.

Do you think there will ever come a point in any of our lives that we will not have to worry about it ? That that thought will never cross our mind, or that urge will never come ? I understand that it gets softer and less annoying, but to not have it at all........that would be nice.

hmmmm........