Last night my friend and I went to a play. I have known her since our kids were in Kindy(pre-school) we become best buddies as on the school trips quite often we were the only one who smoked, so we use to nip off and fine a place where no one else could see us. We have had several quits together, but I have always been the one who failed first.
Anyway last night she said she had started to smoke again on the way to the Play. I never thought much about it until we were on the way home and she said she had to stop for a smoke as the kids did not know she had started again. We sat in a bus stop, I sat with her and she pulled out her smokes and offered me one, I took it and while waiting for the lighter so many thoughts ran thru my head. Could I go back to nearly $27.00 a day, what would my son say, and how would I tell you guys I failed again, could I go thru another quit.
While I was thinking all this, I took the cig back out of my month and gave it back to her and said I can't go thru this again.
All of a sudden I seem to be going backwards, I read all that is offered on the site, but it's just not sinking in at the moment. It's like I know all the bad things and I like being smoke free but the addict in me won't stop.
Now that I am feeling better I just want to smoke. I know it makes no sense.
I wasn't going to blog this but it's been bugging me all day. What happens next time.