Mike.

I'll join the chicks, and be a "zero" for this page. 0

Since we are now talking in part, of our "own" experiences, I will try to frame this from mine. I have now smoked for a total of 46 years. That's not talking about the time that I didn't smoke. I was 13 years old, when I first became addicted to cigarettes. I am now 61 and have smoking related illnesses. I have struggled with "trying" to quit, since I was 14. I even did quit for a while then, but went back smoking, obviously. I was in the hospital during that year, with pneumonia, getting needles of penicillin, every four hours. My rear, hurt more than my lungs did. We were allowed to smoke in hospitals back then, and a friend was keeping me supplied with cigarettes, and I puffed through my treatment. Thinking back, I don't remember anyone telling me, the docs/nurses/my parents that, maybe I shouldn't be smoking then, which was at that time of my life, my third medical treatment regime in a hospital for pneumonia. Well, it was the 1960's and it seemed most people around me smoked. I saw the nurses smoking at their desks, my doctor smoked, my parents smoked, all my grandparents smoked, except the one grandmother who was adamantly opposed to it. She had offered me 1000.00 dollars when I was child in the 1950's if I didn't smoke until I was 21 years of age. That was a lot of money, to offer one in those days. We always thought then, that she was a little unbalanced but, her money was as good as anyone and I wanted it. One day, I was laying in bed, having a cigarette, in my hospital room, when she walked in. Instead of being mad, she just reminded me of her promise to give me 1000.00 on my 21st birthday, if I didn't smoke and told me if I quit until then, I could still have the money. She took my cigarettes, after my promising I wouldn't smoke any more. Well, I never got the money, obviously. But, that did set up a pattern that would stay with me the rest of my life. I tried to quit, many many times, to only wind up a failure now, with 46 years of smoking behind me. I tried more ways to quit than most, through all those years. I could go on and on, about what treatments, education, support groups, prayer, blah, blah blah, that I have tried but, in reality, they all failed. So, what was missing? That was the point of this thread, to help me see what was different for me, than the other people that had quit smoking and seemingly, "never looked back". When I finished writing what I did last night, I saw the key element that I had to focus on. That is, that I have to do this myself and only then, can I rely on the tertiary information and support, to augment my continued cessation. In reality, I had been relying on the method of quitting, rather than the key ingredient, of doing it myself. Only I alone, can do this. Okay.

I had a smoke about 30 minutes ago, in the howling wind, the swirling snow, the freezing cold and said to myself, "I am not enjoying this cigarette. Why am I doing this?" The pat answers include, but are certainly not limited to, feeding the subsiding addictive withdrawal levels, a concious and sub-concious idea, that a cigarette does something for one, vague ideas about running from the reality of the truth or, of substituting an addiction upon deeper unattended issues, to not loving oneself enough to do the things needed, including self-degradation, masochistic tendencies, lack of faith, lack of willpower, lack of understanding, supeficial awareness, lack of knowledge, it goes on and on, ad nauseum. So many theories, so much conjecture, so many scientific and medical research studies and papers, on and on and on. Today, there are addiction counsellors, quitting clinics and books, specializing in tobacco cessation, pharmaceutical products and herbal remedies, to promote a cure of use and, hypnosis suggestive therapy, acupuncture, electronic devices, offering everything from electric shock-aversive techniques to "safer use" devices. We have web-sites, with links, to links, to links, about the solutions to smoking addiction, support forums, offering enlightenment and direction to guide one to abstinence and supportive techniques to maintain it, live support groups, utilizing time honoured, "12 Step Program" techniques. All, with their "own" brand, of solutions. Most (*most*), of that is all well and good. It all gets debated and bantered about, as reasons for and solutions to, tobacco use. What of the people that stop smoking, without any ongoing or prior utilization of any of this information, intervention and support? What did they do? What made them successful, without any of the other? Is there a primary feature, that they possessed, that brought upon complete cessation of use? Is that same feature needed to quit, when one avails themselves, of the other? I think so. I think they didn't want to smoke any more and simply bowed to their wishes. They obeyed an internal desire, and did so to satisfy themselves. I think, all the other, pales in comparison. What do you think?

You never know, what will stick with a person. When I was sixteen, I thought my dad was the biggest "nut case" around, and had nothing to say, worth my time to listen to. I still find myself, thinking about what he said back then, when I am "wrestling with the devil", and need some guidance/tips. Don't stop beacon, cause you may never know, who you have inspired/influenced. We all have people who, come to us later, sometimes much later, and tell us that what we said or did influenced them, in a positive way. I often don't remember it. I just node and smile.

Do you need to resize, to make it suitable for an avatar? I use this one, Shrink Pictures. You can play around with the settings, to get the best quality, that still meets the criteria to be allowed to use here.

Thanks, T. Any time you want to PM too! I just finished a PM with one who, wants to quit again. So, my struggling here, "with my pants down", is not in vain. I know others are watching, even messaging me ... Oh and there is "truly" a lot of quitting wisdom here, collectively. Lot's of experience. You picked a winner of a site, to "run with". Kind regards.

-5

Hi again, Tyme2B. It was great, speaking with you in chat ... I hope you don't feel too guilty in fact, I don't think you should feel guilty at all. Many have successfully quit, using Nicotine Replacement Therapy. I just know, that it will be even better for you when there is finally no nicotine left in your system. You are close ... Congrats. M

Yep, or ... something else starts screwing with your equilibrium. Huh? like pathological and natural physiological process changes. Having said that, I know what you mean.

You're not just another pretty face, are you? I'll be reading that over a few more times. Thanks.

Thanks.

I was close. I got the Coquihalla part right. I broke down in Merritt once. But, that's another longish story too. Edit: I thought I had been on that highway too, but alas, not. ...

This sounds like being rerouted from the Coquihalla to the Fraser Canyon highway ... I enjoyed the story. It made me smile. So, don't feel bad about it. I heard the message, too. Thank you, for it. :-)

We woke up to an ongoing snow blizzard. Our Block's water main froze (I assume), and we have no running water. The city told me, they may get to fixing it tomorrow but, assured me they would work through the weekend, if they can't get to fixing it before then. Our street and side walks are covered in ice from the main break and is now topped with increasingly more snow. They parked a portable water trailer for us down the street, and went, (?home). I carried 30 gallons of water, to the house so far, oh ya in the blizzard, creeping along the snow covered ice on the street and side walks. My wife decided, she didn't like the way the TV remote was programmed, and wanted me to change it, (I don't watch TV, except once in a while a hockey game, on another TV). But, I must program her *new remote, for her). Then, she wanted ME, to cancel her choices, for the channel packages with our provider, as they weren't to her liking. I made the call, got what was needed for programming changed, along with a little help with figuring out the the extra features for the remote, her wanted. Then, that wasn't to her liking and told, yes told me, to get back the channels, she had before ... Okay, made the call, and guess what? I was 2 minutes late at 20:02, to make any changes then, as the people that make channel package selection changes, leave the office at 20:00, according the representative, that took the call after me waiting 20 minutes on hold. Her, is downstairs mad at me, the TV, the cable provider, the freaken weather, the city, and is not talking to me now, (well, that's a blessing). I said fck it, and smoked, with intentions of doing day 1 again tomorrow.

I saw/heard that in the sixties, when 50% of the adult population smoked and research information was just coming out about the relationship to smoking and cancer. (that might have been 51% of the male population. I forget now ... old guy) What a Numbnut to try to argue against it now. There is just too much evidence to the contrary. Maybe the guy, would like to buy a bridge ...

tuff one. Unmade bed?

Undies

Again, thanks everyone. Hi ya all! I do appreciate the encouragement. It does help. Today? Well, it's going ... The hardest was getting out of bed. I used to smoke at least 5 smokes the first hour I got up. Instead I laid there and contemplated my navel for a while. I realised I was spacey and feeling a little stoned ... different. :wacko2: Too much O2 I guess. Later ...

quote to let you know, it's your turn.

Yes. That's it DD! Your Turn ...

Nope. What made you think of that? Not it. Nope. We have a cat. I wouldn't say, even if that was the case. Well, thanks for playing everyone. Clue #2. My computer sits on it.

I will not smoke today.

Not with nicotine, still in one's system. Edit: In case I am confusing you, please read this on nicotine withdrawal, from WhyQuit.com: The Effects of Nicotine Cessation