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Amy

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Blog Entries posted by Amy

  2. Amy
    Well I just wanted to browse and see how everyone is doing. It looks like the quit train is doing well.
    There are lots of new members. I gave up my quit in April and I have not tried to quit again.
    Being here though - reading all the posts makes me wonder if I should try again. I am not afraid to try to quit again I think the stressful part is I am setting myself up for failure because I don't believe I am going to do it. I am lying to myself and I don't want to tell anybody I am quitting because I have been there and done that and when people see me smoking they are like I though you quit? I just let everybody down including myself.
     
    Can I do this? Do I have the courage and the strength? Determination?
     
    I don't know.
  3. Amy

    1 week and 2 days

    By Amy,

    Today is day 9- and I am a non smoker!
     
    The funny thing is my brain has 2 parts the good part and the bad part.
    The good part says I quit smoking- I do not want to smoke again.
    The bad part says I want a cigarette.
     
    Smoking was always a part of me. I never went anywhere without it. I smoked in
    the house which was not so good for my honey but I did it anyway because I
    was selfish and did not want to suffer and be without my cigarette.
     
    So for me smoking was normal I have never been without it. Now I have to learn
    how to undo a life time of normal and figure out what the new normal is. If this
    makes any sense.
     
    I am sure this will all come with time and it is certainly flying by.
    I am happy today I do not smoke. This is the best thing that I
    have done for myself ever. :D
  4. Amy

    Day 6

    By Amy,

    I am wondering if I still need to count the days- I have to say I am doing this well. I am wondering if I should post my SOS for myself. At this point I am thinking there will be no SOS but one day there might be..
     
    If I were going to smoke it would have been yesterday. Planning dinner with neighbor coming over and planned on pork loin on the smoker outside. I had to go to the store for the pork loin so I pick the closest store (Stop N Shop) they have only very small pork loins. I discovered this after all of my
    other shopping was in the cart. So now I have to go to another store a little bit farther away (Shoprite)
    to get my pork loin. Boy was I aggravated. The thought was in my head I want a cigarette- but
    then there was the next though I don't smoke. It was as easy as that.
     
    I am loving this. It is not always comfortable. Thoughts do pop into my head I could use a cigarette.
    Then I breath in deep and discover I can actually breathe way better - still a little wheeze in time I am hoping this will heal. I have to hope my body heals because I poisoned it. At the age of 58 my risk
    of lung cancer will be that of a non smoker. This is something to look forward to in the healing process. I don't really exercise but it seems that I am constantly busy with house work and outside maintenance. Maybe I will try to take up walking to further my lung capacity.
     
    My second pledge for today NOPE Not One Puff EVER.
  5. Amy

    2nd day

    By Amy,

    I am so happy today I feel on top of the world. I am wondering how many weeks until my cough
    goes away and I get some energy back. Time will tell. Last night was different- I did not sit on
    the couch and watch the news or a movie and smoke 10 cigarettes. Two pieces of gum last night
    1 around 6 pm and 1 around 9pm so yesterday I had a total of 4 pieces of Nicorette.
    So I am not nicotine free but I am not filling my lungs with poison.
    I went to be really early 9:30 which is okay. I feel rested.
     
    Believe it or not this NOPE idea is what helps me the most. Not One Puff Ever - I will live by
    this.
     
    I don't have a routine yet for eating breakfast so maybe in time that will happen- in the meantime
    I will have Raman noodles again at work for breakfast and drink lots of water. I have to get
    some work done but I am staying signed on all day. Day 2 is here. :)
     
    The end of the work day is almost here for day 2- a few errands to do after work. I think tonight will be
    be an easy night. Tomorrow is Day 3 WOW Honestly I wasn't even planning day 1 until I joined.
     
    My whole nighttime routine is out the door. After work today I had a hair appointment so by the time I
    got home it was around 7:30 PM My Plans were to put in 1 load of laundry and heat up leftovers
    for dinner since my hubby already had left over pizza for dinner. It is 9:50 PM and I ma having a bowl
    of cereal for dinner which is fine- I like cereal. Needless to say I spent the whole evening on this web
    site have I traded one addiction for another???
     
    I am going to finish my cereal turn the computer off and go to bed.
     
    Sweet Dreams
  6. Amy

    Day 13

    By Amy,

    I still think about smoking but it is getting less frequent. There are only moments here and there. My breathing is still getting better every day. I am wondering when the fight will be over and I can relax.
    I am still waiting also to feel normal again. This I am sure will take some time to undo 35 years of
    being abnormal. I am still very happy about my decision to be a non smoker I think I just have to get
    comfortable with this and learn how to snuggle up.
  7. Amy

    Day 7 or Night 7

    By Amy,

    Day 7 is over and it is almost time for me to go to bed. It is only 9:20 PM since I no longer smoke I have been in bed by 10 pm every night. Normally it would be between 11 and 12 as I was quite happy watching a movie as long as I had my cigarettes to smoke. Pretty Strange. No issues for me today but I think I lot my quit buddy, It was cool to have someone to quit with on the same day and go through all of the stages of the quit at the same time. I can only hope he is doing well.
     
    Tomorrow is Day 8 I am getting closer to 2 weeks with every day. Good Night Friends.
  8. Amy
    Amazing weekend- no issues. Maybe 4 pieces of Nicorette for each day not bad. I can't believe it is Sunday night already and I haven't smoked in 5 days. There is the occasional thought but it disappears as quick as it comes.
     
    I am happy. Very short 5th day entry sorry I still have to put dinner away and clean up before bed.
  9. Amy

    3rd Day

    By Amy,

    Good Morning Everyone
     
    Day 3 has arrived and I still feel on top of the world. I have a feeling of Euphoria.
    I have tried to quit before many times and it was never like this. For the first time
    my eyes are wide open and I am doing this no matter what.
     
    I am at work again and just ordered breakfast to get delivered
    (pork roll egg and cheese) not the healthiest but I am hungry oh
    orange juice to go with that. I already had two glasses of water and
    I am going for a third.
     
    There are times at home where I need to just take a few deep breathes and
    concentrate on breathing to get through a crave and then in the morning
    after I am done drying my hair (this is funny) I have to have a cigarette
    and then I am like I don't smoke. So basically I talk to myself.
     
    I am happy it is Friday. The work week is over and the weekend is mine.
    No plans to go anywhere this weekend just staying home and maintaining
    the homestead. I always have a ton of stuff that I want to get done on the
    weekends so I will be keeping busy.
     
    So I work in a small office and normally take out my 1 little bag
    of garbage every Friday before the end of the day. My normal
    smoking spot was next to the dumpster away from the door
    and out of view. I left my butt pile there by the dumpster until
    there are about 10 and then pick them up and throw them in the
    dumpster. This is my 3rd day not smoking and my butt pile was
    there next to the dumpster. The happy ending is I just picked
    up my last butt pile.
    I know I will be posting over the weekend- normally weekends I do not turn
    my computer on but this is different this is something I need to do.

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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