Rob

Hi Doreen :) That's strange... I've not logged on here for ages (sorry!) and when I finally visit there is a thread posted with my name 15 minutes before, spooky! Well, I still have my quit going! Admittedly, I feel like part of me inside has given up, but I still don't smoke because even though my brain has said screw it, there is something else stopping me - it doesn't feel natural to smoke anymore and I'd have to go out of my way to do so. I've just been telling myself I'm being crazy and to put the though on hold until I can sit down and rationally re-asses why i stopped in the first place. Thanks for thinking about me though, nice to hear form you. I hope everything and everyone is still doing well here :)

Thanks Raya, awesome post.

Regarding chest tightness, glad others are experiencing this as well (in the sense that what I've been experiencing probably isn't life threatening). Over the past couple of weeks I've had instances where I am feeling short of breath, even when idle. Hope it's just anxiety/recovery process as googling symptoms - as suggested - is scary business!

Glad you're feeling better :) nicotine has scewed up our though-process. Can't stand the smell of smokers anymore. The thoughts don't match the reality. #addiction!

I've been doing some 'light' bedtime reading of this http://www.emphysema.net/my.asp since this topic has sparked my interest. The page is about 15 years old, but still relevant. After reading Doreen's post this morning, and the stories of all these people, it's really like a 'eurika' moment has happened for me today - like a light switch in my head has been turned on. This is the true face of smoking!

Thanks for sharing DF, a real eye opener.

I watched these three episodes this weekend. I thought they were really good. Enjoyed them all with the exception of the woman smoking through her neck in episode 3. That's turned my stomach - I wish I could un-see that!!

Thank you everyone for your lovely posts, there were some amazing words of advice there! Stu, BunbleB - you made me laugh :) I definitely feel a lot happier and more confident now after reading your posts, it's like a weight has been lifted. Thanks again :)

Hi everyone I thought I'd come out of the say hi, since I've not been around for a while... really, since my relapse. I've been lurking though. This quit is still going - the signature below is still correct. This is a bit of a problem quit for me though. Since day #1 (of attempt #2), my heart hasn't really been in it, and I've just been supressing the cravings instead of dealing with them. Now, I find myself having huge cravings a lot of the time, wishing I could smoke, eating crap instead, putting on weight, etc etc. I want to smoke, so I think of something else; my not smoking is like a depressing auto-pilot at the moment. I even feel a lot of the time like I don't like the non-smoking version of me, and I miss the old me. I think the core of the problem is that I haven't properly mapped out my thinking about stopping smoking. I knew I enjoyed smoking when I stopped, so I thought the best tactic would be to just not think about it anymore. Now, it's been suppressed so long it's screaming louder than ever. It's exhausting. I know the above is basically rubbish logic, and the real solution is to probably listen to Allen Carr again (will definitely add that to the TODO!). That, or I keep up the auto-pilot and one day I might realise it's not been an issue for ages anymore. Rob

Hi Oneistoo, no judgment from me at all. I just hope my relapse the other day wasn't partly responsible. I'm glad you're back on board so quickly though and that you're still a non-smoker, good for you :) Was there any reason specifically, or are you not sure?

Lol, a what?

Morning everyone. Thanks for your messages. Yep, slightly hungover. I cut up and got rid of the 17 remaining cigerettes last night. No intention of smoking again. Stu - thanks, good message; I get now that I must work to train the sub conscious. MM - I'll watch those videos now. Jackie - glad you won the battle, and sorry if I contributed to your urge last night! :)

Thanks for having me back. I'm back on board. Stu - thanks. Focused on last cigerette, blank mind, think I just block out the negative. But I do know I didn't even enjoy it, and that the grass always seems greener on the other side. Cigerettes are such a lie, would be easier if they could just get rid of them all together. Babs - don't take it personally please. It was my stupid mistake. Your advice and support and everyone else's has helped me through many difficult times and makes deciding to quit a lot easier. I think of it wasn't for the site I wouldn't have nearly as much motivation to stick. Mike - thanks for your really nice and helpful post from the other side. I hope you get the courage to pick a date in the near future jump back on the train.

... Not even so much ''get out my system", just wish there could be such a thing as a socialble smoker.

Thanks Marti. The thought had crossed my mind, even thought about SOS post, but didn't feel it was appropriate to waste anyone's effort because I knew my mind was made up. I felt this was something I had to get out my system.

I feel bad that I've let you all down. Tonight, I've gone to a pub with a lot of smoker friends and I lve relapsed. I admit that I wanted to. My one saving grace is that I'll start again tomorrow. I'll admit that I ive thought about not bothering to even admit this and juts carring on pretending I still have hold of my quit, but don't see the point. I'll catch the train again tomorrow.

Congrats Tyme, you're doing great :) here's to a successful first month, and the start of many more to come :)

Thank you all!! I feel so much better now, and glad I won the battle. Helps a lot to rant here when needed :) Tyme - yes, strength in numbers for sure. You're doing great as well :) hope I can help you if you ever have a bad day.

So it's payday, work has taken a few of us for a meal and drinks to say thank you for the successful office move, and it's the first time in a while I've felt... Merry (teeny bit drunk) :) And OMG 50% of me wants a cigerette right now. Infact, that would be awesome... I'm not going to:- * I've got used to drowning out the bad 50%, it's no big deal * I know at this stage that the bad days are a rare variety, and this sudden urge has been triggered as smoking is still integrated with thought of fun nights out drinking. * The good days are really good. I'm really enjoying being a non-smoker. Nobody else was smoking tonight - I fit in and integrated well and it felt great. ... But I hate that - against all logic and sensibility - I still sometimes feel like I'm depriving myself by not allowing myself to smoke... to not do what the hell I want to do... Can you relate? This isn't an SOS or a cry for help, it's just encouraging to know others can relate to this stupid - and temporary - mental struggle.

Thanks Bumbleb

Congrats Jackie :)

I had to google image search that, and then I LOL'd , in the UK we call them 'dummies' so I didn't know what to expect... Wasn't expecting that :)

Congrats cpk! I know what you mean about the feeling lost and tense. Honestly, I felt like cigerettes and I were made for each other and that I didn't really want to stop smoking; that i was really just kidding myself with this quit smoking thing. The good news is that some days go by now where I don't really think of smoking, it's amazing to reflect and realise that. It's a relief and and a dream come true to finally be free, and not have thoughts constantly altered by chemical addition any longer. Yes there are still bad days, but few and far between and normally at this stage the bad days don't really have anything to do with cigerettes :) I know I'm still young in my quit so I might be talking prematurely, but I really am that happy to be free from what I was beginning to worry might be a life long curse.

Welcome Michelle. Congrats on getting past hell week. Things get better from here on out :)

Woop woop!! Bet the next two months will be a breeze :)