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Jen

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Blog Entries posted by Jen

  1. Jen
    Today is day two without any slips. I had this realization... My quit date was 1-7-15 I did great, things seemed easy going and I had a boat load of confidence this is going to work and I'm going to do this! 1-8-15 Still not too bad still feeling confident. By closer to evening I caught a glimpse of hubby's cigs sitting on the table. I didn't think at all. I picked it up I took one. I lit it in the kitchen, smoked it, put it out. Put the ash tray back in its hiding place, put the cigs in my hubby's coat. I started to think ugh wth? Like it was a reflex to see it, light it, smoke it!
     
    So I joined this website yesterday. I was having a complete meltdown! Still have NO idea what triggered it exactly. But I had lit a butt I found earlier when I was packing things for moving. About an hour or two later my chest got tight, I had a desire, no a need to hold a cigarette in my fingers! There were none here and I refused to go buy any. I did a google search and found this website. I put in an SOS and BAM multiple replies immediately! I had a good cry, I got some cold water, got awesome advice. I got through it and I had people holding my hand the whole way!
     
    I woke up this morning logged on my computer did the what everyone told me I need to do daily. Got on this website I put in my NOPE pledge for today and I feel terrific! Like this is really something that I can do. If I have any issues or I just feel like I'm going to slip. I slide in my chair and I let someone know.
     
    I was thinking earlier about day two of my original quit. That cigarette that I lit. I remember thinking AFTER I smoked it and put everything away. oops.... I'm not a smoker.. BUT... Going from 30 a day to 1 in 2 days is great!! I'm doing an awesome job. Besides I didn't go buy them. Hubby already had them.
     
    So this morning I was thinking how my mind was trying to trick me into thinking this was true! How dare my brain do such a thing!! So lets put this in perspective... 1 in 2 days that's great! a couple days later its 1 after an argument with hubby, 1 because I didn't think about it, 2 when I have to fight with the kids and their on my last nerve, oh and since I had such a hard day I'm going to have a few beers before bed so I'll smoke 5 with those, smoke 3 with my morning coffee cause I drank the night before and I need a pick me up to get my day started, 1 after lunch, a couple in between that and dinner I mean I did have some with my coffee right? 30 a day cause that 1 I smoked I didn't buy, it was already here...
     
    What a total crock of crap brain! Sit back, Shut up, Enjoy the ride to freedom!!
  2. Jen

    ugh

    By Jen,

    Just for reference to read later. It's the patches! I got that feeling again. I'm out of commission for at least 15 20 min. Chest is tight. I took old patch off put new on feel like I'm coming unglued! I'm shaking need water lots of water so thirsty! Carmex my lips went instantly dry just like my v mouth. Feels like they are cracking open. Why does it have to be so hard! I want to stab someone with a fork... dropping my son at school and getting in a good cry. Hope I last that long. Stopping to get water on way home. Breathe I can do this I'm not a smoker I'm not a smoker. Fresh air. Nope not today!!!!

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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